Sunday, July 24, 2005

There's a turkey in the oven, dear Liza, dear Liza

Ever since GS camp, we've been singing "There's a Hole in the Bucket" so that's what prompted the title. But there really is a turkey in my oven. If you're out there reading, dear Liza. Whoever you are.

I've been buying those Honeysuckle White turkey breasts lately. They are some seriously well endowed turkeys, lemme tell ya. Probably just chock full of hormones and growth-enhancers, but it makes for one awesome dinner, so we'll just leave it at that. Everyone but Sam likes turkey around here, so he eats popcorn chicken while we feast upon bird boob. (The first time I fixed one Abby goes, "OH YUCK I am NOT eating bird boobies!!!") Of course, it's 115 outside and I've got my oven on. I'm a moron. I'm also doing laundry. But hey, in my credit, the peak alert thingy said "Avoid using ALL major appliances" and then in smallish words underneath it said, "Households with the elderly and small children, disregard". I have small children. I'm disregarding. Hey, it's either do laundry or we all go naked tomorrow. I know that it probably means only to use important things like the air conditioner and oh let's say your oxygen tank, but hey, a girl's gotta have drawers to wear.

And man, it is hot in my office. See, we have a 1922 sq ft home and one, count 'em ONE, window unit in the dining room to cool the entire thing. The kitchen and dining room are certifiably arctic (unless you've got the oven on), the living room is comfortable, but you walk out here to the toyroom/office and you break out into a sweat. You get about halfway down the hall toward the bedrooms and you start gasping for air. The kids and I worked in the back of the house until about 9 this morning and by then we were all sweating and we gave up. I got my dresser cleaned off, arranged my husband's dresser and hung up some curtains and a few pictures. The kids cleaned their rooms, so we accomplished quite a bit before we gave up to find cooler quarters.

I finished another book last night. Summer Sisters by Judy Blume . Oh it was good! The library didn't have The Lover and I had forgotten anything else that was on my list, so I just started browsing. Judy Blume's name caught my eye (What young girl didn't read Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, Blubber and Super Fudge?) so I thought I'd give it a go. I read 5 chapters the day I got it, during Sam's hour-long karate class. When I started last night, I was about 1/3 of the way through. I finished it just shy of midnight last night. Anyone have any other recommendations? Nothing too romancey, or heavy. Just something good. I have two weeks left of summer and I need some reading material. I've tried re-reading the Mitford books, but they are more winter reading material to me. Very homey and feel-goody. I can't wait till the weather turns cooler to start reading them again. But in the meantime, I need something to keep me entertained.

The storm last night had the potential of being awesome, but kind of fizzled out. As is pretty typical around here. I guess Small Town Starlit, though, had some excitement at her house and some lightning. We got some rain and wind and LOTS of lightning, but none of it hit the house. The kids and I went out onto the carport to watch the storm come in. Mr. Diva hadn't made it home by the time I thought he should've, so I called the store. His boss said he should've been home by now. I'm a bit skittish when he's on the bike, so I started worrying. The wind was gusting around 50 mph, we were seeing lots of cloud-to-ground lightning and I could just see him laying that bike down or getting electrocuted. Then in between claps of thunder we heard the bike then saw him come through the trees positively FLYING. He pulled under the carport just as the rain started. He said he drove 80 and 90 all the way home. Gee, which would've been worse - lightining strike or cycle wreck in shorts, wearing no helmet, driving 90mph on a hot highway? Hmmmm . . . We had several limbs down when it was over, but nothing too bad. For pop-up thunderstorm that no one was expecting, it was a nice bit of excitement.

Oh yeah, been meaning to mention these two ladies for a few days, so I'll just take that opportunity right now -

First of all, Irish Divinity has found out that Baby Divinity is a BOY!!! The Divinity's already have two girls, so they were pretty excited to find out that this one is a testosterone-laden little fetus. Congrats, Stormie!!

And now, another hometown blogger just started up her own little corner of the blogosphere last week - From the Mental Block of April. Stop by and tell April hey! She's a riot in real life and I think she'll do just fine with a blog of her own.

Well, I need to go slather some butter allll over my turkey's boob to make it all pretty and brown and then figure out a Point-friendly dessert. I have kind of been off the wagon this weekend. It's not like I've eaten a package of Oreos or anything, but I just haven't been too strict on portions. I didn't get to work out but one day last week! It makes a difference in my motivation if I can't work out. Mr. Diva was working the late shift all durn week so scheduling was a real bitch. This week, though, I don't care if I have to chain the children to the treadmill, I'm working out!! My friend Tiff, lost 12 pounds last month thanks to a prescription of Phentermine. I WANT SOME PHENTERMINE OF MY OWN!! But Mr. Native American Doctor thinks I should lose 10 pounds on my own before he should write me a scrip. Dooderhead. I want it now!

Man . . . 12 pounds . . . that would like get me back into the stylin' capris I bought last summer that my fat ass hasn't been able to fit into this summer . . . motivation . . . that's what I'll call those capris from now on - my Motivation Capris.


Robin said...

Take the capris and gently tack them up inside the pantry. Works for me!

Redneck Diva said...

Or I could use them as curtains!!


I like the pantry idea better.

Unknown said...

Wait...I don't talk about comics that much. Do I?

God...I am such a dweeb.

We....the people

Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...