Monday, July 04, 2005

All Quiet on the Western Front

If you come over to the Diva house today, you'll find it strangely quiet. You'll also notice the faint scent of Green Apple Lysol. This is because my oldest daughter is sick. Sick, sick, sick.

She drank virtually nothing but Propel for three days. I should've monitored her drinking better because 3 years ago we went to the ER one night thinking she had a bad kidney infection only to find she was full of shit. Totally constipated from drinking nothing but electrolytes for half a week. So last night when she tells me she hasn't pooped in three days, I sighed dramatically and told her nothing but juice and water until she poops. Oh and we'd start up some fiber therapy for her when we got home.

Oh heck, I had nothing to worry about. Seems there are some nasty intestinal virusy type germs in her bowels that took care of it for her. She's shitting over the moon, people. I have never felt so sorry for a child in all my life. She's pale, shaky, her head hurts, she has a fever and she can't stay out of the bathroom. She doesn't even want to shoot off fireworks so you KNOW she's sick.

I called the nurse advice line that the kids' insurance provides and the RN on the line punched everything I told her into her handy dandy computer and she said she has to shit like this for two weeks before the computer says to take her in to be seen. In the meantime, no medicine for the fever - it will only aggrivate the diarrhea more. Yet, at the same time, fever dehydrates you. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, eh. She's hungry, but doesn't want to eat. She's so cold she asked me what the hottest room in our house is. I told her it was my bedroom and she said, "I'm taking my sleeping bag and I'm going to your floor." I told her she could sleep in the bed, but she said she didn't want to give me any of her germs. What a love.

Happy 4th of July, ya'll.

4 comments:

Grammahoney said...

TWO WEEKS???? They gotta be nuts....wonder if that nurse would shit like that for two weeks and not go to the doctor?

MrsCoach2U said...

The Green Apple Lysol would be enough to make me puke. Poor Abby! If she ever goes the other way again, call I have the GOOD stuff they gave Nati when she had E Coli.

J said...

That poor baby. It seems like you guys have been making the rounds with something or the other lately. God, if I shit like for TWO WEEKS?! No way, and I certainly don't see my kids doing it.

I hope she is feeling better now...

Redneck Diva said...

Gramma Honey-My child is perilously skinny as it is. If she had diarrhea like that for two there'd be nothing left of her! I can't believe they said two weeks. That's crazy . . .

Mrs. Coach-When we were kids Mom would douse the house with regular Lysol and the smell gets to be so bad now. Kind of like how I can't drink Sprite anymore because that's what we had to drink when we'd been pukin'. So it was Green Apple Lysol or let the germs run rampant. Geez, Nati's had E Coli? Is there anything that child HASN'T had??

J-Thanks, hon. She's finally looking better tonight. Two weeks is ridiculous...I can't believe that retarded nurse even said that to me.