Monday, July 11, 2005

I am so sorry I ever took my air conditioner for granted

I have returned from [The Camp That Shall Not Be Named] completely free from any toxins because I sweat them out of me on Saturday. No really. I am completely toxin free. Or at least . . . I was until I drank that Coke on the way home yesterday . . . Anyway, I have never sweat that much in my life - not even during hot, horny teenage sex in a wheat field in August (It was sweaty, but not that sweaty).

I wrote a post completely long-hand with a pencil in a spiral notebook (Yeah, I was shocked, too) on Saturday night and I will post it later tonight or in the morning, but for now I just wanted to drop in and let you know I survived. I know you were worried. I only brought home one tick (stuck to the back of my leg - shudder) and one mole cricket who stowed away in my duffle. Abby brought home about 30 bazillion mosquito bites, but strangely I didn't get a one. My foot didn't act up too badly even when we hiked a total of - and I am not exaggerating - 4 miles, up-hill both ways. Now, once I took my shoes off that night, it ballooned up and was sore as hell, but it didn't give me any trouble while we were en hike.

While us "[The Camp That Shall Not Be Named] Moms" were less than enchanted with the whole experience, the girls had a blast. And that was all that mattered. We kept our happy faces on for the girls and when they got out of the earshot the bitching began. Abby and I managed to avoid the lats altogether, saving our bathroom breaks for the flushers at the pool house. On our last hike up the hill Saturday night I told her that the water that was left in her bottle was it because I was NOT taking her to the lat during the night. She was entirely okay with that. TotOne, however, got Sis up twice during the night for a lat trip. The last time out, when they drew a big clean breath of non-poo-stinky air, TotOne grabbed Sis' leg and said, "Man, I love this place!" You know they're having a good time when they can exclaim that after a middle of the night latrine trip.

I have been told that I run a Troop akin to Troop Beverly Hills - remember that movie? We have some seriously foo-foo girls and with a Diva for a leader, well, who could blame them? Well, we knew we had a less than outdoorsy group when we (after asking permission from the powers that ran all things campy) left the campgrounds after swimming to go into town for Sonic burgers. I mean, we forgot some "necessities" and had to go to the store. Yeah. That's what it was. Those three girls scarfed down that Sonic food like it was manna from heaven. The Brownies did, too. The poor carhop nearly drew back a stub when she handed us our sacks of food. The smell hit our noses and we were like a pack of hungry wolverines. We drove back to the campgrounds full of grease and caffeine and were better equipped to handle the rest of our camping experience.

I can't really write any more because I have to leave in mere minutes for my first workout at the wellness center. I'm kind of glad I did all the hiking this weekend. Kind of prepared my heart for what lay ahead. He said he'd test my heart to see just how much it could handle before a workout. I have every intention of telling him that if he'd seen me hiking up a 45' incline, carrying a 10 pound backpack on my back, singing the Banana Song the entire way, while making sure the girls didn't step in the middle of a snake or a mess of poison ivy, then he'd have no doubt my heart can handle anything he puts me through in my workouts.


Anonymous said...

Happy to hear that you survived camp MintaHELL! I hate that place with all that is within me. I'm glad that the girls had fun. That is the most important thing, I guess. So, were you Wipey and Heather Sweepy? Or was it the other way around?


Queen Of Cheese said...

I wrote letters from that place that would make a deathrow prison letter look like a Thank You note. I wanted outta there bad, but was dumb enough to go back year after year. I think I even wrote a letter to my grade-school principal begging him to start school early and come get me. Can't wait till Natalie wants to go!!!

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