Here are my reflections from 2009:
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Christmas Eve brought the promise of a white Christmas to Oklahoma, the likes of which we haven't seen in YEARS. A blizzard warning even! Talk about exciting times. Because of said impending DOOM Paul decided I needed one of my presents early - a 64GB iPod Touch. I cried. Seriously. My mother says it is a true sign of my geekiness that I cried over an electronic device.
Santa brought gifts in polka-dotted bags this year! It led to some serious mystery, which I liked. Since I KNOW Sam sneaks up front every year to pilfer before anyone else gets up, at least this year it would've been harder for him to do - ya know, if we hadn't ALL gotten up so early.
Most kids complain when they get socks for Christmas. Not Abby - she got a whole entire box of socks. I bet there were 20 pair. She was STOKED. The kids loves her some socks.
Santa apparently has serious connections because he brought four - FOUR! - Zhu Zhu pets to our house! FOUR! He should've brought Kady a comb.
Not only did my teenager love the socks she got from Santa, she also loved the box of books! She got a huge box of Fear Street books by R.L. Stein. She'll be reading until Spring. Or until next week if we keep getting snow.
Even though he had squealed and hollered and whooped like a spider monkey on meth, my son declared this to be The Best Present Ever - a bell from Santa's sleigh. Seriously. No kidding. I cried.
And my skinny-jeans-wearing 13 year old fashionista who abhors all things Country and writhes in anguish if she has to listen to one twang of a song about heartbreak and pickup trucks now owns a pair of camouflage Justin boots. She's nothing if not diverse.
The last-minute gift I threw in for Sam, a Ripley's Believe It or Not book, was a huge hit. Why, I do not know.
And after presents and breakfast and ZhuZhu pets and a nap....Kady played in the snow for only the third time in her little eight years. She was clearly happy.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
The kids and I watched A Christmas Story the other day and ya know, that is one movie that never gets old and always amuses the heck out of me. I particularly love the dad and his penchant for swearing. I know, it shows a lack of intelligence to swear and all that, but the 12 year old in me still finds cussing absolutely hilarious. The scene at the end of the movie where neighbor Bumpus' dogs bust through the kitchen door and make short work of devouring their turkey is rip-snorting hysterical to me because the dad's cussing is so hilarious.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
As I've mentioned before we have a new puppy named Giblet and Giblet is growing daily from a cuddly, squirmy ball of fuzz into something the size of a small Tyrannosaurus Rex. And being a chocolate lab he also chews on EV. RY. THING. Yesterday afternoon I went outside to get pellets for the stove and I'll be danged if that dog didn't chew the button on my sweater - while I was wearing it. We've had a lab before, but I think Jake was just a special dog because he never chewed on things. Never. We expected it when he was a pup, but Jake never chewed. Every other dog we've brought on the place has all but chewed the walls, but not ol' Jake. Giblet may very well take on the walls and soon he'll be big enough to just plow 'em down before he commences the chewing.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
When I worked at DHS one day we were having a conversation about perfume. I chimed in, telling them about the perfume my mother had given me for Christmas. It was from Bath & Body Works and came in a little can that clinked when you shook it because it had a little metal ball in it to stir up the glitter. The label said "Perfumed Glitter Spray" and I LOVED that stuff. I'm not a foo-foo girl, but I took great pleasure in spraying that stuff into the air and walking under it to give myself a little sparkle, but not too much sparkle, ya know.
One year Mom and Sis went to Disney World around Thanksgiving time and brought us Hoovers back Christmas ornaments in the shape of Mickey's head, all in different colors with our names on them.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Apparently before Thanksgiving the kids in Kady's 2nd grade class each got a feather on which they got to write what they were thankful for and then stick it
up the turkey's butt decoratively behind the turkey, thus creating a beautiful and colorful Thanksgiving-esque bulletin board decoration.
Friday, December 04, 2009
As we have for the past two years, this year we have a display at Twin Bridges State Park's "Park of Lights". Two years ago it was a hasty, from conception to reality in 36 hours type deal. Last year we put more thought, time and effort into it. This year we spent weeks scoping out a new spot because of those crazy state park squirrels who had certain dietary requirements involving my lights, added some new "fixtures" and recruited my niece, Karissa, to help put it together. We're pretty proud of the results and a girl that graduated with my sister said her husband nearly peed his pants laughing at it the other night. I warms my heart to know we nearly made a grown man wet himself.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
I know, I know....I say I'm going to post more and I do pretty good for awhile then boom I'm all gone and stuff again. I really did have a good reason this time.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I said I was going to post here at least every other day, managed ONE POST before I blew it. I am awesome.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
You know, if the holidays came around in the summer I'd be able to do everything that needs to be done without flirting with a psychotic break. Just sayin'.
I HEREBY PROCLAIM that from now until the first of the year I am going to post something here AT LEAST every other day. It may be something wondrous and splendid and it may be a string of letters and characters from me banging my head on the keyboard. Still, check back. Both could prove to be edutaining and informational.
If my daughter gets an iTouch before I do I will literally throw myself on the ground and scream and cry. Unfortunately it looks like I have a tantrum to perform because my mother-in-law gives the kids $200 apiece for Christmas. And not me. :-(
Last night I stayed up until 1am watching Brokeback Mountain and drinking what may or may not have been an alcoholic drink from a Mason jar.
I have decided that the 21 year old me would find that scenario laughable. She has no idea. Or...uhm....er.....I have no idea. Oh you know what I mean.
We had our Annual Glenn Family Festivus Planning Meeting Friday night. The bylaws were amended, there was mucho goosing by the Sergent at Arms and while the meeting was very raucous and loud, I think it was the most fun Planning Meeting we've ever had.
To learn more about our Festivus Celebration and see pictures from last year's gathering go here, but be warned: there are pictures there that actually have been used against me by a very angry woman who tried to ruin my reputation. (Yes, seriously.) If you are offended by pictures of a fully-clothed man in a candy g-string and don't have much of a sense of humor you should probably not go look. However, if your family is as crazy as mine you should seriously consider adopting a tradition like that yourselves. The Festivus tradition, not the candy g-string tradition. Unless that's how you roll and if it is, you are awesome.
It has been decided by several family members that over the Christmas break we are going Duggar hunting. We'd like to be able to add "Duggar Sighting" to our list of what we did over the holiday.
We love our Duggars here at the Diva Ranch - so much so we renamed our prolific momma cat (formerly known as Mamacita) Michelle Duggar. She has done as much for the feline population as the human Michelle Duggar has done for the human population. (Maybe even more, but we figured asking the real Michelle Duggar to rename herself Mamacita was out of the question.) We asked Abby if she'd like to be a Duggar someday, seeing as how John David is a teenager and the next male in line to marry, but she said she wasn't willing to give up her skull wardrobe and flat-ironed hair. However, my Kady is totally on board and thinks being a Duggar would be "Duggarific". We now call her J'Kady.
I have rag-rolled Kady's hair several times over the last few years. The first time she looked like the Cowardly Lion. The second time, Little Orphan Annie. For Halloween this year she was a gypsy and I l o o s e l y rag-rolled her hair. The results were beautiful ringlets that lasted two days without making her look like a member of the Jackson 5. So the other night Abby asked if I could roll hers l o o s e l y as well.
Yeah. Something went awry. After sleeping on the rags all night she was excited to see the finished product the next morning. I unrolled the rags and had her flip her head over so I could finger comb the curls out. When I finished I had her flip her head up. Instead of busting out into the loudest BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I had in me at 6:30am like I SO wanted to, I instead grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her toward the mirror. The look on her face was a Kodak moment and I hate it I missed catching it with the camera. When she could speak again she said, "Oh Momma you have to DO SOMETHING!" I pulled the sides back. She made a face. I grabbed it all and pulled it back into a ponytail. Okay, have you ever been to the county fair and walked the area between the cattle barns right before a show? Ever seen those kids take a teasing comb and a bottle of AquaNet to a cow's tail? If you're a city slicker and have no idea what I'm talking about well, you are just going to have to use your imagination because I have Googled every possible combination I can think of to find a picture of a cow's tail before a show and can't find one. Dadgummit.
Anyway, her ponytail was a gigantic ball on the back of her head and she was starting to panic. Next try was me piling it on top of her head. She groaned and said, "Well, just stick a tiara in there and send me to the ball, MOTHER." Oops, my bad. So I grabbed a wide-toothed comb and started trying to relax the curls. Ugh, it just made her hair W I D E, as I kind of though it would. The clock was ticking, she had tears threatening to spill over and at one point declared she was NOT going to school. Finally, I pulled it back into a ponytail again, this time with the curls not so tight and angry-looking, and managed to arrange them and tame them with hairspray.
Word to you mothers: Be ye careful with the rag rolls. For thou knowest not how your child's hair will reacteth. Thus, tryeth the rolling of the rags out on a weekend first. Henceforth. And stuff.
This afternoon, after we get our bellies full of turkey and all that other yumminess, we Hoovahs are headed to the state park to get the ball rolling on our Park of Lights display. As usual, we have procrastinated and lollygagged until we're down to a few days to get it set up, lit and running. We do it every year and I said this year would be different, but life has just kind of gotten in the way as life is wont to do. Stupid, inconvenient life.
(Pictures of the first year's display here. Not sure where last year's display went...)
We are setting up at a different spot this year, right on the highway, in an effort to elude the dadgum squirrels that kept eating our lights in years past. We gave our spot to the nice fellas at BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) because number one, I *heart* them and because number two, if anyone can scare those squirrels into the stopping of the chewing, it's those guys. They're really just big ol' tenderhearted teddy bears, but the squirrels don't know that.
Starting Thanksgiving night you can mosey on our to Twin Bridges State Park by Wyandotte, OK, and get yourself into the Christmas spirit by driving through and seeing the lights everyone has put blood, sweat and tears into for your pleasure. It's free to go through, but you can leave a donation at the end if you so desire. Make sure you look for the outhouse and possums and vote for ME!
Oh and as it gets closer to time I'll let you know when you can drive through and actually SEE US! I know! Seeing bazillions of Christmas lights AND getting to see your favorite hometown Redneck Diva is THE BOMB. Trust me on this.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Last week was bad. Now, yes, I realize that it could've been worse and technically I have no right to complain and whine around, but it's my blog and you've decided to share in this splendiferous journey known as My Life, so settle in and listen up, childrens. Momma Diva is tellin' a story.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
I've heard about it for years. I actually looked into it last year. I guess it was just in the natural progression of things that I would actually do it this year.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Yesterday was my nephew TotTwo's birthday. He wanted to see Astro Boy, but our little theater wasn't showing it and trekking 45 minutes to Joplin on a school night wasn't an option, so we all loaded up to go see Where the Wild Things Are.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Normally when it comes to Halloween and my kids' costumes I am one crazy stage mom. I mean, seriously, in years past those gals on Toddlers and Tiaras would have had NOTHING on me. We don't just dress up - we get into character. We suffer for the sake of the costume. We rehearse. We research. We live and die by the costume. We meaning my kids. See also: the year Abby pushed a shopping cart as a bag lady and nearly had security called on her when she walked into the Library Administration building at the college. Or the year my kids were Goth.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
* Saying you'll never have another garage/yard sale doesn't necessarily make it so.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
We've lived in this house for eight years now. We live 1/10th of a mile off the road and have 30 acres of field on one side, brush and pasture in the front and back and brush to the side. I think it pretty much goes without too much explanation - we have critters. We have armadillos, coyotes, window possums, mangling raccoons that love dogfood, window snakes, not baby copperheads, closeted yellowjackets and various other varmints. We also have mice. Lots and lots of mice.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday Sam went into his little sister's room where the bookshelf is housed to get a book to read because I had just declared the Wii off-limits and apparently he couldn't find his NintendoDS because in case you hadn't heard I am not only the queen of the run-on sentence, but also the cruelest mother on the planet for making him do something as ghastly as READ. After he'd been in there awhile I heard him exclaim, "WHAT THE?" followed by the sound every mother cringes when she hears - "MAWWWWWWM!" It's not the tender sweet sound we long to hear our infants coo at us, it's not the word we hear when our child is hurt and needs us to make it all better - no, it is the sound that makes our spines stiffen, our faces grimace and our eyes squint. It's the sound of tattling.
"Yeah. That's what I was thinking, too." Then they both sighed.