Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Not enough hours in the day

ARGHHHHHHHHHH Imagine if you will, me running frantically up to the screen of your computer going AGHHHHHHHHHH like the kid in Home Alone. When you imagine this, you will have a pretty accurate depiction of how I am feeling right now. I have less than 24 hours to get us all ready for the big Nat'l Lampoon's Biloxi Road-trip and I have to sleep at some point. Actually, sleep is going to take a huge priority for me tonight. If I don't get some good sleep tonight I will be useless tomorrow. I am taking 2 of my potent herbal sleeping pills and I'm heading off the dreamland. Then I'll be more equipped to handle the stress of the coming days. Laundry's going right now, dishes are pretty well caught up, everything is bought that we need to take with us. All I have to do (All, ha!) tomorrow is clean out and vacuum the van, finish the laundry then pack all 5 of us, finish cleaning the house, find time in there to shower, go to town and fill up the van, get the kids' vacation spending money changed from well, change into bills (they cleaned out the piggy banks, lemme tell ya) and I think that's it. Nothing like a good vacation to relax a person. I doubt I post tomorrow folks! In the meantime have a good weekend and I'll post tons of boring beach pictures on Monday!

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Hey hey we're the Monkees

Why I titled it with the theme song from the Monkees I'll never know. It was the first thing that popped into my head. Kind of scary, eh?

Well, the Diva and her family is heading out in a matter of days for, what is probably going to rival a National Lampoon's summer vacation. We've taken the whole fam damily to just Branson before and it's always been uh...interesting. Imagine what it's going to be like going all the way to Biloxi, MS!! 14 hours, 5 kids, 2 vans, 3 adult women with hormone issues, 1 potty training 2 year old, and 2 men. Don't need to go further in describing the men or putting any adjectives in there - y'all know what I'm talkin' about. Love you, boys! Really, though, I am SO excited about this trip! Okay, 14 hours in the van with my oh-so-not-talkative husband is going to be frustrating, but I think the trip is going to be great all in all. I am excited to see where my mom and dad used to live when they were young and in the service, I can't WAIT to see my kids at the beach for the first time, truthfully, I can't wait to see myself at the beach for the first time! lol Used to, I never had a desire whatsoever to see the beach and truthfully considered that living my life having never gone to the ocean would still be just as fulfilling, but for some reason - call it a quarter life crisis, whatever - I have this overwhelming desire to see it now. I personally, would pack up tomorrow and move to the east coast, but every time I say that Paul looks at me like I just sprouted a new head on my left shoulder or something. He says I'm strange for wanting to leave at this point in our lives and why can't I just be happy here. I dunno, why can't I just be happy here? *shrugs* One of life's little mysteries...

Anyway, my next two days are going to be spent in a whirlwind of vacation preparatory activities, so if the blog goes a little unattended, that's why. Rest assured, though, that I will have TONS of pictures to post when we get back, though!

It's 10:30 pm now and I am feeling the effects of a stress-cleaning day. I know I'm not the only woman in the world who can clean like the dickens when she is frustrated and aggravated and has a lot on her mind. Right? RIGHT?? Gosh, I hope I'm not the only one. I play housekeeper every two weeks and clean my cousin's house. Well, today she definitely got her money's worth because I was nearly blinded by the sparkling when I left there today! Okay, so maybe it wasn't really sparkling, per se, but I definitely went a little above my normal today. I find it oh so gratifying to take out my frustrations on the mop when I'm slinging Pine Sol from one end of the kitchen to the other. It's very theraputic to talk out loud to one's self when one is vacuuming, too. I know, you're grinning right now, either because you're thinking I'm a total loon or because you've done exactly the same thing! Go ahead, admit it.

Well, I definitely chased a rabbit there, didn't I? I was going to close and ended up typing another whole paragraph. Geez. Annnnnyway, I'm outta here. Gotta rest my poor work-worn muscles, so I can get up and tackle my own house tomorrow! I hate coming home from vacation to a messy house and I simply refuse to do it next week. Even if it kills me, lol.

Monday, June 21, 2004

When it's raining on Monday

Okay, so I just blatantly stole a line from a Keith Urban song. Sue me.

Yesterday was one booger of a day. I cried virtually the entire morning. Why? Hmm...good question. Just been on a crying jag lately. Every now and then I get this way, it lasts for a few days and then I'm back to being my normal self again. It usually starts when I read a good book, one that touches me somewhere deep and incredibly personal. And it snowballs from there.

Agh, I hate being that vulnerable! Vulnerable sucks. My emotions sabotage me more often than I'd like. I like being in-control and confident, but it's hard to exhibit either of those when you've been crying virtually nonstop for the better part of two days, you have a flaky nose that rivals that of a coke user's, you have bloodshot swollen eyes and suffer from dehydration. Hard to be self-assured and tough when you'd rather crawl under a rock until you regain control of yourself again. Maybe this is God's way of humbling me, making me realize that I'm pretty much as human as the next guy and I need to step down off my high horse. *shrugs* Dunno.

I'm more in control today, but feel like that at just the right emotional cue I'll be back snivelling again. I'm trying to just avoid anything and everything, lol. So far laundry hasn't made me cry, so I guess I should concentrate on that.

Can you imagine what I'm going to be like during menopause?????

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Has it really been this long since I last posted?

Goodness, it's been a mere 5 days since I last blogged and they've changed all the options on here! Now I can add a mood and a topic and well, goodness, but I feel uptown.

I took my little selfish vacation this last week and let me tell you something...I NEEDED IT! I was down to my last shred of sanity and patience and just really needed some good quality Kristin time. I left quite a bit later than I had intended, but still managed to miss any heavy traffic on the interstate and in Springfield itself. The motel wasn't exactly the Ritz, but I guess if you want the Ritz you book at the Ritz, eh? It looked a lot nicer in the lobby than it did in the actual room, lol. But it was pretty clean and I felt better after I jerked the comforter off the bed the minute I walked through the door. I've seen too many episodes of CSI and I KNOW what they find on those motel bedspreads! But with it stashed on the floor in the corner of the room, I was more comfortable. I spent the rest of my time alone watching TV, reading, shopping and enjoying the quiet. I called home more than I said I would, but oh well, can't quit being a mom just because you're out of town. I ate Chinese, something I don't eat with the family because, well, no one likes it but me. I shopped at my own pace, stopping in the stores I wanted to and stayed as long as I wanted. I tried on shoes for nearly 30 minutes with absolutely no intention of buying a single pair. Just because I could. I didn't have to threaten 3 children to sit still before something embarrassing happened like me smacking them in front of the entire store, I didn't all of the sudden realize that Kady was missing and had to hobble through the store with one foot bare and the other one wearing a size 10 red get my drift. I watched an entire episode of Reno911 and not once did I get up during a commercial break to switch out laundry, put the last remaining dinner dishes in the dishwasher or straighten up the living room. I had my butt planted on that bed, propped up like the freakin' Queen of Sheba with every pillow in the room and I was going to stay there.

I love my kids more than life itself, but every now and then every Mom needs some grownup time by herself. My sister is content with Bub taking the kids to his mom's for the day and leaving her there to clean, sleep, play XBox or scrapbook. She's content staying in her own domain and she's completely refreshed at the day's end. I, however, do not get that luxury. My husband isn't as well equipped to take the kids placed as Jon is. Just not his thing, I guess. So I do not get the whole day at home doing my own thing. What I have to do is just save up my frustration for 6 months at a time, until I start snapping people's heads off for little things, I cry at the drop of a hat and I can't accomplish anything because I'm exhausted. When I start seeing those things more often than I don't, I know it's time to start planning the Selfish Vacation once more. I do realize that I am fortunate to have a husband who allows me to do this, so I really can't complain that I don't get breaks as often as Sis does. Quality not quantity, right? Paul really doesn't understand my need to get away. To him it is undeniably foolish and what in the WORLD do I do while I'm alone for all the time?? Ohhhh, I enjoy it. He has a 20 minute drive to work and another one home at night - alone. When he takes a bathroom break during the day he does it - alone. He mows the lawn - alone. He tinkers around in the barn - alone. He takes 6 hour bike rides with his ultra cool, bald-headed Stone Cold look-alike friend - virtually alone.

I ended up my 3 days of bliss with a night at the opera. Okay, yeah, so it was the Tulsa Light Opera driving up to do a one-night stint at the Coleman, but it was opera, nonethless. My friend, Tiff, had asked me to go Tuesday when I went through the drive-thru on my way out of town. I mulled it over the entire time I was gone and just couldn't justify a night out after having been gone 3 days. When I got home there was a message from her asking again. I called her at work, told her I didn't think I could, but I'd ask anyway. She called me when she got home, reminding me to ask Paul, lol. When he came in, I greeted him with a kiss and a hug, let the kids maul him for a few minutes, then presented my case the best way I knew how. And he said yes!! My knees buckled and I shook my head with absolute incredulity. And immediately picked up the phone to tell Tiff I could go!! I got ready and got my butt out the door before anyone had a chance to change their mind or mine! Tiff, Jill and I had dinner at the Chinese restaurant (twice in 3 days, whoo hoo!) and enjoyed our time at the theatre. Intermission was a hoot, especially when Jill snorted, but that's a story for another time, lol. We also decided we need to culture ourselves more and we say we're going to go to Tulsa to the opera on a regular basis. Guys and Dolls is running next month, so I hope we actually stick to our guns.

So all in all I've had a banner week, folks. I hope you've had the same! We play softball tonight. Of course, I have't picked up a bat since our last game two weeks ago, so you can pretty well bet I'm going to strike out. Nothing new there. We play at 6 and 9, throwing a church social in at 7. Gonna be a busy evening, but after my week I think I'm equipped to handle it!

Monday, June 14, 2004

Air conditioning!!!!!!!!

Praise the Lord, we finally turned on the AC. I'm telling you what, I really do not know if I could've lasted one more stinkin', sweaty day in this miserably hot house without air. Agh, it's been awful. Today was the clincher. My friend, Trishia, called this morning and asked if I was about to crack. They're holding off turning theirs on, also, but I think she may have very well caved in by this evening. Call me a wuss, whatever you want, but I will be cool when I wake up in the morning, that's one thing I know for sure.

Being this hot and humid for an extended period of time, you do things that you never dreamed you would. Like putting deodorant under your boobs. Yes, really. I'm tellin' ya, if you have any boobs at all you know what it's like when those things start the waterfall of sweat. You wear a bra, not for support, but simply to stifle the perspiration torrents. Another friend of mine told me she did that sometimes in the summer and I never dreamed I would actually do it. But I did. And hey, it works!! Quite well, I might add. I've been taking 2 and 3 showers a day just to cool off. When I had taken shower #3 the other night and came down the hall fanning my shirt Paul gave me the strangest look and asked what the heck I was doing. I said, as straight-faced as I could, that I was drying my deodorant. I could tell he was perplexed and asked how fanning the front of my shirt would dry my deodorant under my arms. When I told him that the deodorant I was drying was not under my arms, well, he kind of blushed, not out of embarrassment, but I think simply because he sometimes marvels at the crap I do. Desperate times...

Paul and I have reached a new level in our marriage, I've decided. Not only am I sharing trade female secrets on creative anti-perspirant'ing, I am allowing him to participate in the age-old art of waxing. Sadly, it's not my eyebrows I wax. It's my arms and upper lip. Agh, the older I get, the more I resemble a Sasquatch. I know that the hair on the upper lip is simply hormones and age. The hair on my arms is nothing more than a really crappy draw in the game of Heredity. Not only did I inherit Dad's grey hair, but I've also inherited the hair on his arms. Or should I say "in-hair-it"...HA! Maybe that was funny to only me, I dunno... Aaaaaanyway... I put up with this awful anomaly for years until I finally decided that it would have a hold on me no more. Enter Sally Hansen and her magic box of wax strips. That Sally Hansen was a sadist, I'm sure of it. Okay, to make a long story short I proceed to wax my arms the other night. If you've ever waxed you know you have to pull the skin taut when you rip the strips off, if you've never waxed, well now you know what you have to do. With the wax being on my arm I didn't have the extra hand to spare, so I trot up front with this hot-pink strip glued to my left fore-arm. Paul and the looks he gives me....poor guy. I asked him if he could do me a favor. Believe me, it was met with trepidation, but he agreed. He was kind of impressed at the results and enjoyed holding the strip up to the light to see just how much hair it had ripped from my body. So when it came time to do the right arm, I trot up to the recliner again, except this time he says he wants to rip the strip off while I hold the skin taut. Believe me, that was met with trepidation. But I let him. I'm thinking that he and that sadist, Sally Hansen, are twins separated at birth.

There are two conflicting theories I have regarding being married long enough to allow your spouse to do such things (or worse!) with/for you. One is that we have been together so long that we have reached a level of comfortableness that supercedes most relationships. I mean, he's seen me give birth to 3 children, so obviously the modesty barrier was broken a long time ago. But to allow each other to participate in the ordinary not-so-pretty moments of life, like waxing, well,that takes quite a bit more than breaking a simple modesty barrier. We are comfortable in who we are, not only with ourselves, but with each other as well. We are truly a couple, a long-term couple. The other thought is that aw, to heck with it, he's the only man to see me naked in 11 1/2 years. It's not a matter of being comfortable with each other, it's just who's available at the right times. Not like I'm going to call my Mom at 10pm with a wax strip stuck to my forearm and ask her to drive out here to hold my skin taut while I rip the hair out from the root.

I'm not sure which theory I'm going with at this point... I'll ponder it some more while I pluck my eyebrows. In the living room. Under the light of the lamp next to his recliner. While he watches WWE.

(PS: The Diva will be incommunicado for a few days. Taking a little selfish vacation. Need some ME time in a desperate way! Will write when I get back into town. XOXO)

Friday, June 11, 2004

Broken arms and sunburns

Today is supposed to be our hottest day so far and we are completely prepared, well, except for the lack of air-conditioning.

The kids were up at the blessed ass-crack of dawn, even after no naps yesterday and staying up till after 10. Those precious babies! Thankfully they played for about an hour without incident while I kind of dozed. The bedroom was cool and I knew it was going to be pretty much the only time today that I wouldn't be miserable and sweaty, so I was bound and determined to take full advantage of it. I finally got up when the fighting and fussing began. All 6 of us now have on our swimsuits and are patiently awaiting the movement of the sun into the front yard. I sent them all out to play sidewalk chalk on the shaded carport/driveway slab while we wait. Otherwise they'd be in here bugging me every 5 minutes. Oh wait, they're still doing that. I figure we've got about another hour before the yard's good and sunny. Then it'll take me 20 minutes to slather all 5 of them down with 30 spf. They'll have over an hour and a half to slip, slide and see who can break which bone first. Kind of stinks not having a pool this year, but they really seem to like the slip n slide just fine. Plus with a slip n slide I don't feel so obligated to actually participate like I would in a pool. I can sit in my lounger and let my perilously white body attract freckles. Heaven forbid it attract a tan, lol. Kind of stinks sometimes being Irish... Oh I have Cherokee in me, but obviously the hearty Irish genes dominate. *sigh* Sam's last T-ball game is tonight. Gonna be a miserable hot one and yes I'm being pessimistic. No sense trying to avoid the truth. The actual temp is only supposed to be 89 today, but with the 3000% humidity it makes the heat index somewhere close to oh...3 degrees cooler than HELL. Okay, a slight exaggeration on my part, but still 105-110 is pretty durn hot, right?

Well, the kids got curiously quiet, so that means they've either found a bug to torture, a tick on the dog and they're daring each other to pull it off or Abby's showing them how to climb this poor pitiful excuse for a tree in the side yard. Any of the three oughta be fun to observe for awhile regardless.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Rainy day Thursday

Well, the slumber party last night was a roaring success. Imagine, if you will, 4 little girls ages 7 1/2, 6, almost 6 and 2 1/2. Well, and of course, add in Grammy, Aunt Kiki (that's me, btw) and the ultimate in slumber party moms, my sister. We ate pizza, watched her open her presents, ate some cake (Mine was minus icing, I can't hack that stuff) then broke out Uncle Bub's laptop for over an hour filled with the Cha-cha Slide, the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken Dance. Again, bring out the imagination and picture 7 white girls dancing. Go ahead, take a break while you laugh, the rest of the blog will keep. Well, anyway we danced till the humidity got the best of us and we took a break. The girls played and Mom, Sis and I lounged on the couches, watching the people file through the Rotunda paying respect to President Reagan, a little bit of CMT, some TLC and who knows what else. We all 3 got inspired by Clean Sweep and we're going to "sweep" our own houses this summer. We said. I hope we actually follow through, but we shall see. The girls then did a little craft - didn't I tell you my sister was on the ball? Then 4 little sets of baby teeth (and a few permanent ones) were brushed and we sent them to bed. Those little maniacs FINALLY fell asleep around 12:30!! By that time a full-fledged toad strangler had settled upon us and we all started getting drowsy listening to the rain and a really boring documentary on Bette Midler. Those two things in large doses could be coma-inducing. Mom headed home so she could sleep in her own bed, Sis and I crashed and 8 am came entirely too soon. Rest assured, though, that all 4 little girls were bouncing right up and at 'em! Sis and I took a little longer to get moving.

It's now 3:30 pm and I'm still in my slumber party clothes from last night. How lazy am I?? Actually I'm not lazy, I've accomplished a lot today, showering and getting ready were just not two of those things! I've got my 3 kids, Sis' 2 kids and one of Mom's friend's granddaughters. I've only had to mediate 2 arguments and they were pretty mild. I love having a house full of kids because they all play so well and keep each other occupied. They roam up front occasionally for a glass of juice and maybe a snack then they're back off to play again. Last time I checked they were playing "family", which is what we called "playing house" when I was a kid. Why the name changed I'll never know. We're supposed to have softball practice tonight, but I'm seriously doubting we do. Those practice fields would be treacherous! We need the practice, definitely, but not at the expensive of broken limbs. We'll see what everyone decides. Will I go if they do have it? Hmmm...doubtful. I'd have to tether and leash the 5 kids to keep them from running out into traffic or getting smacked with a softball. Yeah, I'm thinking we just stay home and watch a Disney movie or something. Heyyyy, none of them have had a nap...I bet I can wear them out this afternoon and have them all in bed by, say, 7:30, 8....yeah, this day is looking better and better!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Happy Birthday, TotOne!

Today is my niece's 6th birthday!! Slumber party tonight! Whoo hoo... yeah, whoo hoo. I'll write more after awhile. I just typed half of a novel and somehow my clumsy rogue fingers did some tango combination and deleted EVERYTHING I had written except for a single solitary "N". AGH!!! After I pout for awhile, I'll write again. Nothing like seeing the Diva pout... :-P

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

It's Tuesday and I'm insane....what's new with you?

Ever have one of those days where you get this nagging thought in the back of your head that you have finally fallen off the deep end and are officially crazy? For some reason today is one of those days for me. It's not been a bad day, per se, I just feel borderline insane. WalMart does that to me, lol. I love to people watch and I think that quirky hobby alone keeps me from going stark raving mad in the middle of the detergent aisle at the local super center. Where else can you see toothless rednecks with a herd of children trailing along behind and hanging off the cart (oops, better watch what I'm saying, I'm that sentence minus the "toothless" part!), men who are fed up with the shopping experience in general and are moping along behind their wife's cart and sighing every minute or so, the elderly couple trying to decide if DelMonte green beans are cheaper than Green Giant, harried working moms trying to get groceries on their lunch hour and wondering if they can fit all of the refrigerator items in the mini-fridge at the office, helpless dads shopping alone with the kids and thanking the Lord for their wife and thinking, "HOW IN THE WORLD DOES THAT WOMAN DO THIS EVERY WEEK??"... I mean, I could go on, but you are totally nodding your head going "Yep" to them all, aren't you? People watching is what keeps me sane. And when you think about it, someone may have people-watched you today and you kept them from going stark raving mad. How's that make you feel?

Monday, June 07, 2004

First Tripod post (way back in the day)

Ahh...I've wanted to blog for so long, but thought that my complete lack of knowledge of HTML would forever keep me from doing so. Along came Tripod with a HTML-free blog wizard for wanna-be computer geeks like myself. YAY!!!! Gosh, I have so much to write and honestly have no clue where to begin tonight. It's nearly 11pm and I have to get up early in the morning, so I doubt I get into anything real heavy tonight. The kids and I went to my niece and nephew's (Tater's tots) t-ball game tonight, which is a hoot and a half anyway. I love watching those little kids just all-out tackle the ball and pick flowers in the outfield! My niece plays 3rd base. Er, well, she creates some incredible dirt castles around 3rd base. And when she runs she does her level best to create a dust storm that would rival something out of the Grapes of Wrath by scooting every step through that Oklahoma red dirt. Now, my nephew, absolutely gave us the highlight of the game when he got to 3rd base and started doing the "peepee dance". We saw it, started giggling, hoping he'd be able to at least make it in to home. Then we heard him yelling, "DADDY!! I gotta go peeeeeeeee!" As they say: The crowd went wild. Well, I will close now, leaving you chuckling at TotTwo's bathroom/t-ball escapade. The kids and I are doing our bi-monthly trip to the donut shop in the morning. I do housecleaning every other Tuesday and on those days we go early to the donut shop. Who knew buying my 3 kids deep-fried pastries at 7 am twice a month would be a memory-maker? Or at least I hope it's one of those things that they remember forever and always go, "Remember the summer that Mom took us to the donut shop on Tuesdays?" As excited as they get about it now I'm sure it'll stick with them.

We....the people

Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...