Monday, June 21, 2004

When it's raining on Monday

Okay, so I just blatantly stole a line from a Keith Urban song. Sue me.

Yesterday was one booger of a day. I cried virtually the entire morning. Why? Hmm...good question. Just been on a crying jag lately. Every now and then I get this way, it lasts for a few days and then I'm back to being my normal self again. It usually starts when I read a good book, one that touches me somewhere deep and incredibly personal. And it snowballs from there.

Agh, I hate being that vulnerable! Vulnerable sucks. My emotions sabotage me more often than I'd like. I like being in-control and confident, but it's hard to exhibit either of those when you've been crying virtually nonstop for the better part of two days, you have a flaky nose that rivals that of a coke user's, you have bloodshot swollen eyes and suffer from dehydration. Hard to be self-assured and tough when you'd rather crawl under a rock until you regain control of yourself again. Maybe this is God's way of humbling me, making me realize that I'm pretty much as human as the next guy and I need to step down off my high horse. *shrugs* Dunno.

I'm more in control today, but feel like that at just the right emotional cue I'll be back snivelling again. I'm trying to just avoid anything and everything, lol. So far laundry hasn't made me cry, so I guess I should concentrate on that.

Can you imagine what I'm going to be like during menopause?????

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