Saturday, July 16, 2005

Saturday i-in my office, I'm hiding from the ki-ids*

(*Cheesy Chicago reference.)

I'm in one of those funky moods today. I'm tired, but I'm borderline hyper. I want to be left alone. I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat. I want to get in the car and drive, but wind up at a cottage somewhere that I can hole up for a few days. I want to be alone, but I want to be in the middle of a crowd of people. I'm content, but I'm restless. Ever get like that?

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During the night I was awakened once to my husband grabbing me by the head and elbowing me in the forehead, right above my eye. If I don't have a bruise, it'll be a miracle. I just slapped him and rolled over. He's a horrible sleeper - kicks, punches, cusses, etc. A few hours later I was awakened by him jabbing his knee into my thigh. I slapped him again and as I rolled over I told him that if I felt one more of his body parts touching, hitting, kicking or jabbing me I would simply kill him and put him out of my misery. He laughed and just snuggled up to spoon with me. We both went back to sleep. A mere 30 minutes later I was awakened by the sound of him growling at me! Growling! Like, barking like a dog and growling! My husband growled at me, people. Not only was he beating the tar out of me all night, but he also growled. I sat bolt upright in bed, after my heartbeat slowed down enough that I could breathe once more, and shoved him in the chest and said, "What was THAT all about!?!?" He laughed and said, "Uhhh....I was dreaming there were these dogs growling at me and I, uh, didn't know what to do so I uhhh.....growled back?" I shook my head. He tried to pull me back down to snuggle again, but I said, "Forget you, Wolfman Jack. I'm going to the couch."

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The kittens are a mere week from leaving the Diva ranch and moving on to bigger and better litterboxes. Chan's getting one of the grey tomcats, which he says he's going to call "Junior". TotOne is taking "Blondie", the uh, blonde one. That leaves two orange ones, "Marcia Brady" and "Cindy Brady" and the other tom, "Junior". (Yes, that's two named Junior. But hey, when you've got two Bradys in the box as well, anything's a go.) Plus two mama cats that will probably both end up knocked up before we know it. Not to mention the ever-faithful Jakie, who isn't quite sure what to think of all these cats roaming about his place.

I know I promised pics yesterday, but my sister took my camera this morning to take some shots at their house, so until I get it back, I can't download anything. Patience, Grasshopper. Patience. I know you're all dying to see some cute, fluffy kitten pics.

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Tonight Sis and I are working another 8-man football game. This time we're taking tickets, not selling programs. I really enjoyed selling the programs. I'd lure 'em in with my drop-dead smile then convince them that $1 for a program was actually cheap, PLUS they got $30 worth of casino vouchers with purchase. We sold a buttload. Tonight we just get to tear tickets.

On the upside, we're going out after the game. To where....can anyone guess? *sings "Luck, be a lady to-niiiiiiiiight...."* Yeah, baby. Plus, we've got an overnight sitter. Now, if I could just win $1100 about 10 times tonight I'd be insanely happy and the day would be complete. Why $1100 10 times? At $1199 you have to pay taxes. So if I win $1100 a bunch of times I'm not taxed on any of it!!! Hey, it could happen. This chick we know won $8000 two weekends ago. In ONE WEEKEND! Of course, she did it in $4000 and $2000 chunks, so she's gonna be taxed on it, but hey, I wouldn't complain. Not too much anyway.

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Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...