Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Someone stop me!

Okay, I'm still Googling myself. Hey, it's Men's Night at the Buffalo, the kids are in bed and I'm bored. It's either this or the local news.

Kristin loves seafood! Iew. Blechy. No I don't.

Kristin likes kissing girls while she is drunk. Hey, it was one time at the Elks Lodge . . .

Kristin loves 'Cool Money'. Even lukewarm money is fine by me.

Kristin likes to drink wine with friends. Heck yes, especially if they're buying.

Kristin loves the water and jet skiing. Iew. Blechy. No I don't.

KRISTIN LOVES SEX AND THE CITY. I love sex, yes. The City, not so much. But sex, yeah. Definitely.

Kristin likes to use Urban Apothecary's Brow Now Eyebrow Gel. Because it makes my eyebrows so gel-licious.

Kristin loves you. Yes I do, my little schookie wookie pookie bear.

Kristin loves hockey but still can't grasp the rules. Of course, I'm sure it would help if I'd actually tried.

Kristin likes to get families in a natural setting. Just call me "Fitty".

Kristin loves her lil' piggy meal. Doesn't everyone love a lil' piggy meal every now and then?

Kristin likes humans a lot, too. But not as much as a good ol' lil' piggy meal.

Kristin likes it that way. And that way and oooooh yes, that way, baby. Mmmhmmm.....oh yeah, THAT way....YES YES YES

Kristin loves chocolate, shopping, her cell phone, music, reality television,pop culture, advertising, volunteering, hanging out with Rodney Winkelman. Good ol' Rodney. He's so much fun to shop with!

Kristin likes watermelon because she showered in it. Shower in watermelon and use an apricot scrub on your face and you've already taken care of breakfast first thing in the morning!

Kristin loves her double life. We make big trouble for Moose and Squirrel.

Kristin likes to hear the reassurance. I want to hear you say you like it when I smell like watermelon all day long.

Kristin loves to eat doritos and vanilla ice cream with oreo cookies. Creamy, yet crunchy and a wee bit zesty.

6 comments:

Hillbilly Mom said...

It's like crack for redneck nerds, isn't it? Don't MAKE us plan an intervention! Control the habit, don't let the habit control you.

And how many family members fit in one barrel, "FITTY"?

Redneck Diva said...

HillbillyMom-I couldn't stop last night! Since the rise of indian casinos around here they've started up a Gambler's Anon group - maybe we need a Googler's Anon, too.

Ya know, on our Girls' Night Out we discussed the 55-gallon barrel thing and I believe it was my sister that said she wasn't sure that she'd fit in only ONE barrel. The police would say "We found the victim buried in a barrel here...and here...and there's one more barrel over there..."

Fitty...that still cracks me up.

MomThatsNuts said...

HI~~ First off, I came upon your blog quite by accident, but felt an immediate connection when I read your profile. I, too, am a diva that married a BIG OLE Redneck. The difference being I have tried VERY hard to hold onto my diva-ness. He takes them to gun shows, and camping, and I take them to plays and hotel-involved vacations. Its very hard for me when I find them all laughing at the blue collar comedy tour, when I really want them to do something "normal"...lol
I have never googled myself, I dont think Im allowed...lol have a great day, I enjoyed your blog!!

Mom

afp763389 said...
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Redneck Diva said...

MomThatsNuts-Aw hon...you keep holding on desperately to your diva-ness. Hold on and don't let go. Once you lose your grip with it...well, then you do silly things like drive in demolition derbies and promise your son that as soon as he turns 14 he can, too.

Google yourself sometime - just don't tell anyone! :O

Kristin Slaney said...

ok so being a nerd I googled myself and found me and my boyfriend Rodney Winkelman on your page.... I must say I'm a little distrubed...
Kristin Slaney~