"Congrats! Hey, I'm in your posse? I feel so honored. I have never been in a posse before.
Wait, does it smell? Will I need shots to join? to get out of it after? I don't have a passport, or posseport, will I be allowed back in the US? Do you need to pay dues? Do you pay ME dues? Am I the "fat, white chick" that you had to include to meet state / federal regulations? Do I get a kewl new nickname like A. Biddy? Posse..... I need to research this one."
Okay, so April here we go -
It only smells if we've been to a bean supper recently or if I've had one too many appletinis and hurl in the car on the way home.
As of right now, shots are not necessary, but if you start biting people, I'm afraid I will have to change that. Plus I'll have your mouth wired shut. Just behave and you should be fine.
Getting out of my posse is relatively easy. You just have to clean my entire house. So, yeah, you might want to get a shot for that. I would. I've seen my house.
We're rednecks, therefore no passport necessary. We only go to lawnmower races, demolition derbies and tractor pulls inside the US. But a posseport might come in handy, if only to establish territorial boundaries for other posses who might be visiting.
Dues? Oh honey, if you're hangin' around with me, you ARE payin' your dues.
And no, I don't pay you! Geez, I stand in the free cheese line once a month! That means I am poor. Ooh, I could pay you in cheese. No wait, I can't do that either. Mrs. Coach would send out the tribal po po's and get me free cheese taken away. Nevermind. I only whipped out the MasterCard to get votes, not friends. I can't go doin' that too often. There are credit limits I'm sure.
I think that if your posse leader is a fat, white chick then you actually have to find a bronze-skinned skinny chick in order to comply with the Posse Fairness Act of 2004. I think. I'll have to check the rule book on that one.
Cool nicknames are a must and because you are the first to so dub thyself, then yeah, you get A. Biddy.