Name Brand

Okay, so not only do I steal from Hillbilly Mom all the time, but now I'm going to steal from Brian as well. Brian did a post about the things that he has to have name brand, the things he can waver a bit on and the things he could care less about and it made me think about the brands that I use in my home. And now I'm going to share with you because well, I'm just pretty sure that y'all are just dying to know what kind of deodorant I use. Oh you aren't? Too bad.

It's gotta be this brand or I'll do without:
Laundry Detergent - Tide Clean Breeze. Once, when Mr. Diva and I were first married and broke, one of the warehouse grocery stores in town had Surf for like, $4 a gargantuan box, so I bought some because if I'm not mistaken, we only had about $5 that week and no clean clothes. Mr. Diva put on that first Surf-laundered shirt and promptly broke out from head to toe. We've used nothing but Tide since. I did go from Original scent to Mountain Spring a few years ago and then when they came out with Clean Breeze I switched over. I live in fear that they will discontinue my scent.
Fabric Softener - Downy Clean Breeze. Hey, it matches my Tide. I was out awhile back and Mom gave me a box of Bounce. Then all of my laundry smelled like Mom's. Not that that's a bad thing, I just like my laundry to smell like well, my laundry.
Bleach - Clorox. I don't like cheap bleach.
Shortening - Crisco. We get generic shortening when we get our monthly alottment of Free Cheese, and I use it to grease pans and stuff, but when it comes to actual baking, it's gotta be Crisco. Loretta Lynn knows her shortening, I gotta give it to the ol' gal. I used the generic once when I made decorator icing and it separated and was nasty-looking. Mom clicked her tongue and said, "Didn't use Crisco, did you?" Then like a wise product sage, pulled a can of Crisco from her cabinet and handed it to me. "Never use anything but Crisco from now on, dear." And I haven't. It was a bonding moment, a passing down of the shortening torch.
Salt - Morton's. I don't really know why. Mom said that Memaw always used Morton's and Mom has always used Morton's, so I do, too.
Waffles - Eggo. Those Great Value Wal*Mart waffles are disgusting.
Chips - We only buy Lay's KC Masterpiece BBQ chips, Cheetos, Ruffles, Pringles and Doritos. I can't handle a wanna-be chip or cheese puff.
Peanut butter - Peter Pan. I cannot eat anything else. My throat locks up and I gag. The kids would eat peanuts that had been run over by a truck on their PB&J, but I just can't do it. I even tried Jiffy once. It just wasn't the same.
Ketchup - Heinz. I can make barbecue sauce with the cheap stuff, but for my burgers and fries, dudes, it HAS to be Heinz.
Soda - Gotta be Coke, Diet Coke and Dr. Pepper. (Brian, I agree, that Dr. Thunder is just wrong, man.) We don't do Pepsi either. *shudder*
Deodorant - Secret Platinum Protection Shower Fresh. You just don't mess with perfection. When you find something that works and doesn't smell like sweaty flowers, you stick with it.
Body wash - I use only Bath and Body Works shower gel. The kids use only Johnson's Soft Wash. (Mr. Diva isn't picky. Dial, Irish Spring, Lever 2000, heck, I bring home motel bars and he's okay with those, too.)
Hand soap - Again, only B&BW. Antibacterial, foaming, smelly-good - we use 'em all, but they all come from B&BW.
Toothpaste - Colgate. Plain ol' Colgate. I don't like to brush my teeth with vanilla or bubble gum or anything that tastes like something I might sit down to a table and eat. I like to be minty fresh when I'm done brushing. And I tried the Equate that is "comparable to Colgate" once. I gagged and spit and threw the tube in the trash before any other family member got hold of it. That was a whole .78 wasted. It was nas-ty.
Dog food - Pedigree. We had a blue heeler years ago that suddenly got really sick and lethargic. We thought he had worms, so I hauled him to the vet one day. Turns out the poor fella was suffering from malnutrition. We were feeding him Ol' Roy from Wal*Mart. The vet said that's like feeding a dog flavored sawdust. He recommended Eukanuba or Iam's and I said, "Well, what can a working person feed their dog?" He laughed and said Pedigree was the best you could get that, at that time, wasn't from a vet. Now our Jake gets Pedigree with "crunchy nuggets." Yum.
My underwear and bras - I will only buy them at Lane Bryant. Fat chicks have a really hard time finding a bra that fits good and this fat chick found her perfect bra at Lane Bryant. God-light from heaven shone down upon that rack on the back wall and a voice said, "Go and partake of these bras, my child. You shall be comfortable from this day forth." I could probably buy Wal*Mart panties, but the ones at Lane Bryant match my bras and y'all know I'm a bit compulsive about them matching. It just saves my brain from freaking out knowing that my bra is a different shade of blue than my panties.
Toilet Paper - Quilted Northern. Anything else gives me a rash. Quit laughing. I'm serious! When I stay in a motel I have to take my own toilet paper. What can I say, I have a sensitive cooter. When we were having septic problems the plumber suggested Scot tissue. I walked around miserable for a week before I said, "Screw the pipes" and bought a 24 pack of Northern.
Tomato soup - Campbell's. Only Campbell's. I can fudge a bit on the other kinds, but not my tomato soup.

I have a few choice brands and will waver a bit:
Paper towels - I got back and forth between Brawny and some generic at Wal*Mart. But I won't use Sparkle paper towels - they smell like dirty butts when you get them wet. Ask my sister - she thinks so, too.
Shampoo - I got back and forth between Thermasilk for curls and Pantene for curls. I used to use something from the salon, but then I had child #3 and I gave up my expensive hair stuff. That's probably why I always look like Phyllis Diller these days.
Cottage cheese - Borden's or Hiland. Anything else has a funny taste to it. Cottage cheese is a delicate food as it is - you can't have sub-standard curdled milk, ya know.
Dish Soap - Dawn or Palmolive. Whatever's cheapest when I need it.
Dishwasher Detergent - Electrasol or Palmolive. As long as it's not lemon, I'm not too picky. The store brand is crap, though.

I could care less:
Milk - Generic is fine with me. I don't drink the nasty stuff and no one else in the house cares.
Sugar - Whatever's cheapest.
Tea - You'd think as much sweet tea as I drink I'd be a Luzianne or Lipton-only kind of gal, but truthfully, I like the generic just as well. It's tea, not rocket science.
Bread - It's bread. If it's white and squishy and sticks to the roof of your mouth when you take a big bite, we'll eat it in this house. White bread is bad for you anyway, why pick a more expensive brand to gum up your intestines?
Cream of anything soup - Hey, I don't actually like eat a bowl of that nasty glue-looking shit. I just stick it in casseroles. I'd rather stick a .50 can in my chicken casserole then a .98 can.
Cereal - The big $1.97 bulk bag of CocoRoos make my kids just as happy as the $4.50 box of CocoPuffs. As long as they are ingesting sugar-laden balls of chocolate-flavored puffed corn, they don't really care if it's a box or a bag. The big $1.97 bulk bag of CocoRoos makes Momma happier and ultimately, that's more important.
Syrup - Aunt Jemima, you're cute and all with your little bandana and oh Mrs. Butterworth your 80's commercials were mesmerizing, but I'm sorry - you ladies are just a bit too expensive. Maple-flavored corn syrup shouldn't cost $4 a bottle. Sorry. The $1.35 generic tastes just fine on my Eggo waffles.