Saturday, August 20, 2005

I think we're going to have to find another barber shop

I took Sam to the barbershop today on my way to pick up my sister's kids so they could clean up yet another mess at their farm-ette. Poor little guy was gettin' pretty shaggy and his father for some reason hates to take him to the barbershop. So, for the last 6 years I have pretty much been the only person to take the child for haircuts. Not only do they all say "Sam!" like "Norm!" on Cheers when we walk in, but they all know me pretty well, too. They talk local news and gossip with me, occasionally sports, they inquire about my dad and my grandmother and have kind of adopted me as one of the guys. Just one of the guys with boobs. I don't think many moms frequent the manly hair-cutting domain of Larry's Barbershop. It's totally a guy place.

And honestly I'm not complaining because the cute little guy that cuts hair in the middle stall and is probably young enough to get me thrown into jail if I quit just admiring him once a month, is eye candy. Oh yes he is. Most certainly.

So we got in there and got settled in the chairs and began our wait. Abby said, "Where are we eating when we get done here?" I said I didn't have any place in mind, where did they want to eat? Abby suggested Charlie's. I made a face and said, "Ugh. NO. Not Charlie's." Ab said, "Why? Why can't we eat at Charlie's?" And Sam, who had been quiet up to this point, piped up rather loudly with, "BECAUSE IT GIVES MOM THE DIARRHEA!!!!"

The cowboy sitting next to me tried to hide the snort and the laughter that followed, but I knew he'd heard. Oh I knew. All the while that my face glowed red and I wanted to find the nearest hole to fall into, I heard him snickering. I think I heard snickering from others, too, but I wouldn't know for sure because I had my head ducked and a hand over my eyes. Ya know, if it's a total stranger you can almost just laugh it off and go on, but as the cowboy got up to get in the chair for his haircut, I made eye contact and realized that I've known him since I was a kid.

I don't think I can go back again. Because now the cowboy and my son could very well be on the same haircut schedule and it's highly likely that he might be in there again on a Saturday morning four weeks from now. Not to mention eye candy barber will be there as well. Yeah, now is probably as good a time as any for Sam to grow his hair out. The curly look is in for guys this year. It'll work.


~ A P R I L ~ said...

Oh man that was funny! LOL

Bob goes to Viva Cackler in Fairland at Countryside Barber, no eye candy, but darn good hair chops!

Sounds like the kiddos need to get Mr. Diva to take them to Charlies rather than you.

Laura said...

Hee hee!! Don't you just love it when they come out with zingers like that? My daughter's newest thing is to hang onto my right breast every time I hold her. Eeesh...Our barber shop in town is run by two former Marines..a father and son and they BOTH are eye candy. Hubba, hubba.

Politically Homeless said...

Too funny! Kids do have a way of saying the worst things at the worst times and in front of the worst people!

Sam said...

I so hate those situations. Because EVERYONE knows the kid is telling the truth. Damn kids.

Queen Of Cheese said...

That is another good example as to why we cut Bryce's hair with the calf clippers we use on the Show Steers. It's cheap and cuts through that astro-turf hair that kid has got. Plus, it avoids those type of situations.

Redneck Diva said...

April-We used to go to Viva as well, but once she nicked Sam with the clippers and he didn't want to go back. He asked if he could please go back to the guy barbershop, lol.

Laura-Ooh I wanna go to YOUR barbershop! Two yummy pieces of eye candy - you are SO lucky!

Brian-Oh gosh yes. And Sam is one of the most brutally honest kids I know! I'm sure that'll come in handy someday when he runs for political office or works in PR, but for now I live in fear as to what he's going to share with the world.

Sam-Yeah, that's something that is just so embarrassing you KNOW they can't make it up. I can't wait till I get to embarrass him when he's in middle school and ooh better yet - HIGH SCHOOL. I am SO breaking out the nekkid pictures.

Mrs.Coach-I let Paul cut Sam's hair once. ONCE. It'll never happen again. If we have to switch barbershops every month we will, JUST to avoid a daddy haircut.

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