Tuesday, August 02, 2005
My official coronation ceremony
It's no secret that this summer I have spent a lot of time in my pajamas. Today was really no different. We had library books due today, but they have an oh so convenient grace period, so I decided we'd take them back tomorrow. My pj's were just too comfy today.
Well, my sister called me around 1:15 and wanted to know if I was coming to town. When I told her no she was all weird about it. She said, "Well, if you're not coming to town can I come out?" Well, heck that's never a problem. I told her to come right on. Then she asked, "and bring someone with me?" Uh, no. My house is a disaster. We are in the middle of a toyroom overhaul and I still have free food all over my dining room and Mom bought me three cases of Diet Coke that I have yet find a home for and frankly my house is just not company-ready. Sis then declared that if she and the mystery guest could not visit then I simply had to come into town. I tried to get some more information out of her - was it an old classmate? Or good Lord, an old boyfriend? WHO in the world would she want to bring out to my house?? So I finally caved and said I'd come in. She told me I'd want to wear makeup, too. Then I was convinced it was an old boyfriend. I wondered if I could lose about 50 pounds in 30 minutes.
The entire time I got ready I tried to figure out why she was being cryptic and it was driving me up the wall. When I was nearly ready I called her. As soon as she said hello I said, "Okay, answer me one thing - is this a gambling intervention?"
The kids were just as confused as I was as I loaded them in the van. As soon as Sis got in the van, Sam said, "YaYa, my mom called you a butt munch." Well, I did. Surprises suck. I have to have control in my life. Surprises are uncontrolled. Okay, secretly I like surprises, but I certainly do throw a fit about them until I find out what they are.
So I took Sis to the public library to return some books. Then she told me to take her to the college because she had a book to return there. Allllllrighty, I suddenly had become her personal chauffer, but hey there was possibly an old boyfriend awaiting me somewhere, so I simply told her I was charging her mileage and kept on driving. When we got there she said, "Y'all might as well go in with me. It's too hot to sit out here and let the van idle." So we unloaded the 4 kids and walked to the library.
I love the LRC ladies. I've mentioned them before. They like my blog. They are my new best friends. So we walked into the library and there was Sloane waiting behind the desk. Sis handed her a book and Sloane said, "Okay, can you come back here?" I wondered why she was getting so personal with book check-in, but ya know Sis used to work at the college. I figured there was a reason. Well, the kids headed around the desk with Heather and I said, "Uhhh, do you want us all back there or should we stay out here?" She said to come on around.
So there we stood behind the desk. Sloane was grinnin' like a possum eatin' shit. She said "Hi!" I said, "Uhhh, hi........." and then she threw confetti at me! A chorus of "CONGRATULATIONS" resounded through the LRC and there was much laughing and gasping on my part as I was presented with my crown, scepter (a pinwheel), a dozen roses (which such real-looking "dew" on them!), a balloon bouquet and a sash proclaiming my status as Miss RSJS. Oh yes, it was quite a regal coronation ceremony. The kids thought the confetti was awesome. I was just dumbfounded that I was being made such a fuss over, although you know I ate it up. 'Cuz I'm a diva ya know.
Sloane said that sheetrock and a sweaty husband just wasn't enough celebration and they had to do something for me. I was honored, surprised and simply blown away. Not only were the LRC ladies in attendance, but Kim from the business office came over (although I'm not sure she didn't just happen upon the festivities) as well as my mom. I think Mom might be getting into this blogging thing.
As we were getting ready to leave Sis picked up her book and said, "Oh yeah, better get my book. It's not even a library book. I just needed something to give us a reason to go here."
LRC ladies, y'all just rock. Y'all will never know what it means to me that you did that. I'm SO baking you girls cookies, too. Sis, you're amazing for getting me there and not spilling the beans. But you're still a butt munch.
(Please ignore the enormous ass. Just look at the sash. Look only at the sash.)
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