Friday, August 19, 2005

Last night I had the strangest dream

Seriously. I did. And I usually don't remember them come morning, but I made darn sure that the details were ingrained on my conscious mind before I went back to sleep.

I was Harry Potter. Except I wasn't really Harry Potter. No one actually called me by that name, but I was Harry Potter. And my toyroom was suddenly a room at Hogwarts - some kind of common type sleeping room that later turned into a Pentecostal church sanctuary. Yeah. But anyway, while I was being murderously trailed by Voldemort (Boy, if you haven't read any of the HP books I just realized how confused you just might be by reading this.) I was suddenly shrunken and found myself dangling from a window sill on the outside of the common/sleeping/toyroom. I was rescued, obviously. Then everyone piled into this ginormous beds that reminded me of the princess and the pea they were so tall. And I was afraid to sleep next to a window and I was justified in my fear seeing as how I'd just been shrunken and dangled and all, but everyone just poopoo'd it all away and went to sleep. THAT's when the room turned into a church sanctuary and the pastor was reading the church announcements. But then he took it a step further and started making fun of everyone who had called the church that week and had left messages on the answering machine. He made it like a parody skit where he was a telephone operator and he even had a Power Point presentation! I was sitting in my pew a'fumin', lemme tell ya, at the fact that poor old Mrs. Johnson had just called the church because she needed some food and he was making fun of her! Then suddenly I was outside, leaning out of a school bus window talking to Necia, a girl I went to grade school with who I haven't seen in ages. She and I were talking seriously and she was telling me something really important and I was very interested but then this girl who was a year older than me in high school, Stacey I think was her name (Gonna have to look her up in the yearbook) just butted in and was inviting me to their class reunion and they were going to toilet paper Coach Hurt's house again just like in the old days and I wanted to listen to them both, but neither would stop talking and I was about to cry I was so frustrated because they were bound and determined to make themselves heard.

Then I did this choking thing that I've done a few times before in my sleep. Know how you sometimes just get choked for no reason, like on your own spit? Well, I guess I do that in my sleep occasionally. I wake up gasping for air, needing to cough like there's something in my throat, but I can't get any air, so I try to swallow but what comes out isn't just normal quiet swallows but these pukey sounding gulps that remind me of a dog before he barfs because he's got a possum bone stuck in his throat. I'll gulp a few times like that then just when I think I am going to pass out from lack of air, I manage to gasp in a wheezy sounding asthmatic breath that if my youngest child did, I'd be hauling her butt to the ER. And then I can get some fresh, cool, life-giving air.

The last few times I've done that has conveniently been when either I or Mr. Diva have been sleeping on the couch, so he never knew I had such a talent. But last night I did it while he was spooning me. I was gasping for air, desperately trying to breathe and there he laid with his arm over me, curled up to me like nothing was wrong. When I FINALLY could breathe again and was secretly praying that I hadn't woken him because trust me, it doesn't sound all that pretty when I gasp and gulp for air and I knew I'd be embarrassed, he goes, "Wow. That was gross. You sick or something? Maybe you should get a drink of water, hon." And for a half a second I was like "Awww...how sweet, he's concerned." Then I heard him snoring again.

So I laid there awhile coughing obnoxiously in an attempt to annoy him and went over the details of that dream just so I could share it with all of the blogging community. Aren't you glad I did?

Okay, so now I must go. I have approximately 3 minutes before the attack of the babies. Today I'm watching another baby in addition to Cute Baby. And Chan. And Kady. Anyone who wants to buy me a drink come 5:30 tonight, y'all just get hold of me and we are SO going to a bar somewhere - even the Elks Lodge if that's what it takes.

8 comments:

~April~ said...

Ok, I'm not trying to scare you here but you should talk to your doc about this sleeping gagging thing. You could very well have sleep apnea. Not good. You may need a special machine to help you sleep better at night.

MrsCoach2U said...

WHAT DID YOU EAT FOR DINNER????

Anna said...

April is right about the sleep apnea... seriously do some research. Not trying to frighten you either, but it can kill you in serious cases. Really. My husbands aunt died due to it. Went to sleep and never woke up. Just check into it... to be safe, it may be nothing.

Uh, on a lighter note... you have cool dreams...

Redneck Diva said...

April-Ooh a special breathing machine AND a boot - I'll be sexy for sure!

I appreciate the concern, but I really think I just get choked on my spit and I'm so deep asleep that I wake up gasping. Gross yes, but I think that's what it is. But next time I go to the doctor I'll ask him about it.

I sure as shit don't wanna wake up dead some morning.

Mrs.Coach-Uhhh...chili...

Anna-Thanks for the concern, hon. I'll talk to the dr. about it next time I go.

I do have some pretty cool-ass dreams sometimes. But like I said I usually forget them by morning. Once I had a really cool one about being in the mob and to this day I still can't remember the details except I know I was one bad chick.

MrsCoach2U said...

You might go beanless next time and have better sleep.

The mask for apnea and the boot, that's an image for sleeping. You may sleep well but poor Mr. Diva.......................

Beanhead said...

Not so sure about that dream. Usually they mean something right?!?

I do that same choke in the middle of the night thing.

Greek Shadow said...

You might try using a prop pillow or raising the head of the bed. That way your sinus drainage will spread out on the back of the throaat and not clog up at the base. I wake up every morning and have to spit a bunch out, which drives my wife and daughter bonkers, but hey I'm a man, we hack, caugh and spit. My sister is a resperatory therapist and she highly recommends getting all that nasty stuff out of your system.
When I teach Social Psychology and we get to sleep and dreams the kids love it and they learn alot. It's your minds way of filing all the stuff that is happening in your life, thoughts, wants, emotions, events, etc into its permanent storage compartment. From short term memory to long term memory, and that is why dreams seem so jumbles and can even be disturbing at times. Usually you go from dream sleep into slumber mode and when you wake up you don't remember the dream. If it was a pleasant or a disturbing dream they wake you up, and that's when you remember it. The slumber mode kind of wipes the slate clean for the next day. Hope I helped explain a little bit. Teachers never stop teaching.

Redneck Diva said...

Mrs.Coach-It WAS beanless!! I can't imagine what would've gone through my subconscious had I added beans!

Poor Mr. Diva...whatever.

Beanhead-I have tornado dreams constantly. Like at least one a week. Virtually every book I've read says a tornado dreams represents turmoil in your life (except for the Freudian one that said it was phallic, LOL), but if that's the case, I've had turmoil in my life since I was like 8! No kidding, they've gone on that long.

The choke in the middle of the night thing is oh so attractive, isn't it? I sympathize.

Greek Shadow-Strangely I don't wake up with a lot of congestion! I'll try propping myself up - Mr. Diva suffers from horrible heartburn so it would probably behoove us both to hoist up the head of the bed.

I love trying to analyze my dreams, but most of the time they are so wacky that it's near impossible. My tornado dreams confuzzle me because I have them so often.

Thanks for the explanation! On both counts!