Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Whiney Wednesday

Is it Whiney or Whining? Either way, I'm ready for it. I feel particularly whiney and irritable today. But then, how is that any different from any other day here lately? And in an attempt to make the whining seem less annoying and pitiful, I put them all in color. Yeah, I'm crazy like that.

Here we go --

*My sunburn itches.

*My husband is a jerk. A royal, pain in the ass jerk.

*I'm tired.

*I want to be tan and skinny NOW. I am changing the way I eat and I'm laying out, yet I'm still fat and white. What gives?

*My house is only partially not messy. I need to get off my computer chair and fix that. Yeah, I don't see that happening.

*I plucked my eyebrows this morning and I appears as though I rid my upper face of a small wooly mammoth. When I become part Wookiee?

*My husband is going to still be a jerk when he comes home tonight.

*Said jerk of a husband says I can't go on a cruise with Cousin Stacey.

*I just tried to swallow two pills and they got stuck in my throat and now I feel like I need to cough all the time. Is this how cats feel when they've got a particularly nasty hairball?

*I want to take my kids to Disney World and I'm going to have to either win the lottery, hit a big jackpot at the casino or discover I've been left sixty gazillion dollars from my long-lost Great Uncle Belvedere or something.

*My sister and brother in law just got MORE bad news on their new house. I honestly don't know how much more those two can take. Or my mother. It's bad. And no one knows just quite what to do. I can't fix this one.

*Sometimes, like today, I feel incredibly lonely. I'm never alone, yet I'm so very lonely it hurts.

*I want to cry right now. Just go to bed, cover my head up and cry till I'm done.

Well, hope I've brightened your day. Surely you can't be as whiney as I just was.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

"The sun will come out tomorrow, bet you're bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun..." Let's look to Annie for inspiration "when we're faced with a day that's gray and lonely.."
Happy Whiney Wednesday!

Courtney

Derek Knight said...

The sun, in fact, will not come out tomorrow as gray skies and thunderstorms arepredicted all over the state of Oklahoma. From what we've heard here at Action Cheese News, this storm system is being generated by a pale wookie somewhere in the state.

So, c'mon...Cruises cost money!

Redneck Diva said...

Courtney-We should always turn to Annie when we're blue. She was one happy orphan. Happy Whiney Wednesday to you as well!

Derek-You are such a riot. A living, breathing riot.

And yes, I know cruises cost money, but it's a little cruise so it'll only cost a little money. Right?

Babs said...

If it makes you feel better, I don't tan well either. I have fleckled shoulders to prove all the years I have burned and peeled just trying to get that "Coppertone Tan." A few years ago a teenager asked me why I didn't have a tan - in that instant I replied, "Because I'm white."

Homer Jay said...

From one jerk of a husband to another:
"Let her take the cruise. It might make getting lucky a little easier!"
Just kidding. I think whiney wednesday is a great idea. But since you beat me to the puch, maybe I'll try Tantrum Tuesday. Whatya think?

Homer Jay said...

Oh, and I've been wearing shorts for three weeks straight and my legs still look like chubby sticks of ivory. The fact that I work nights probably doesn't help though.

Craz4acop7 said...

Um, I can't come up with a positive for everything on your list but here goes:

1. So you can't tan...less likely to get skin cancer. (Note- I said LESS)

2. Can't afford a cruise? Well, you won't get abducted in Aruba or some other exotic place with stupid officials.

3. All alone? At least no one is there in your face bugging you and getting on your last nerve.

4. Pills got stuck in your throat? Well, at least you didn't choke on them and die. Or I assume you didn't since you posted this after the fact.

5. Your house is "partially messy." That means it is also partially clean. And hey... YOU HAVE A HOUSE! ;)

Redneck Diva said...

Babs- "Because I'm white" I LOVE that reply!

Homer Jay-I actually did make the Unlimited Supply of Nookie offer. He still won't let me go. Grrrrr. Have I mentioned he's a jerk??

Chubby sticks of ivory??? BWAH hahahhah! And yeah, working nights is not conducive to tanning, hon. Ever seen a tan vampire?

Craz4acop-You make valid points, m'dear. But it still feels good to whine occasionally! On Whiney Wednesday I just whine for the sake of whining, even though I realize I'm blessed beyond belief!