Sunday, June 05, 2005

I am not dead and buried in a 55 gallon drum! Whoo hoo!

Consider my brush with death officially over.

But I am oh so tired. So very tired.

Laughing virtually non-stop for three days will wear a girl out, lemme tell ya. And the shopping. Oh the shopping.

Quick rundown to hold you over until I post an incredibly long and drawn-out story about the weekend:

*Our first stop was the Turtle. We couldn't go on vacation without gambling, right? Sis won $105. I didn't win shit, which is becoming an unfortunate trend that SUCKS.

*My mother and sister are ornery dooderheads that can conjure up a story so believeable that I look like a dipshit when they finally crack and bust out laughing. I'm going to have to remind them of the story of the little boy who cried wolf...

*I had a thorough tear duct cleansing over the course of the weekend. I cried at the drop of a freakin' hat at every little thing - precious pictures of baby feet in a store, poems about kids growing up, two of the shows we saw, the lack of internet access...

*We ate. A lot. IHOP at midnight....Yum.

*My sister takes the longest showers ever recorded in the history of humankind.

*My mother is a saint.

*We took the back seat out of my van before we left. We completely filled it with shopping bags. That was awesome.

*JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT - You gotta see it. No really. You gotta. It'll knock your socks off.

Now I must sleep.

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Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...