Sunday, June 19, 2005

Mini Vacation Ended - Paradise Lost

I ended that last post rather abruptly because my front door burst open and 4 of the 5 kids came rushing into my office to attack me with hugs and kisses. (Kady was off being a junior diva somewhere.)

That was awesome. Noisy, but awesome.

Sis' kids came dressed in their swimsuits, so my three got theirs on, I slathered them down with 45 SPF even though the pool was pretty much in the shade and we headed outside. I was armed with the cordless phone, a bag of baby carrots, a glass of tea and a book. I was ready for me some outdoor action. I'd had enough sun - feelin' a little burny this evening - so I sat in the shade and read while the kids splashed and generally - I hope - wore themselves out. That's my idea of "outdoor action" - a lawnchair, a shade tree, a glass of tea and a book. Baby carrots, optional.

Sis' kids are spending the night here tonight. I had intended on going to the doctor tomorrow since Mr. Diva's going to be here to watch the kids, but Sis asked if I could watch her kids while she goes to some British Flyers doohickey thingamajig in town in the morning. Bunch of British vets are in town for it. 60th anniversary, blah blah blah. She was rattling off something about 8 British Airmen being buried in the GAR cemetary and a batallion or platoon or whatever of British flyboys trained in Miami for WWII and the ones that are buried here, even though they are on US soil, those plots are considered English territory. Or something. Frankly, being the horrible US citizen that I am, my eyes glazed over when she mentioned WWII. It's not that I'm not grateful - I had a grandpa and a great uncle fight in WWII - but I don't retain history very well. None of it. Not only do I not retain it, I don't care for it either. I entirely blame the really hateful history teacher I had in high school. Left a bad taste in my mouth. Anyway, to make her hush about the soldiers and the war and the King of England (I thought they had only a Queen...) I just waved my hand at her and said, "Whatever, whatever. Just leave the kids here tonight to keep it simpler. Pick 'em up when it's over." She was overjoyed. Whoop de doo - the British are coming, the British are coming. yeah.

So I may or may not get to the doctor tomorrow. Que cera cera. It's only been two weeks walking around on my Elephant Man-like foot - what's another day or week or two?

Mr. Diva has pretty much done his own thing today. And I've let him, it being Father's Day and all. He's happier like that. So much for that quality together time my mother was disappointed we weren't reveling in. When she called and asked where he was and I told her that he was off pretending he's a big, bad biker man, she said, "You are supposed to be spending time together!" I just replied with, "But Mom...we don't really like each other all that much." Silence on the other end. It was classic. Then I laughed and she kinda sorta joined in, too. Even better. She's so easily worried.

Darling husband, in anticipation of the noisy events he was about to participate in last night, bought me some Relacore while we were at Wal*Mart. You know, you've seen the commercials - "Get rid of stubborn belly fat!" Well, he saw me reading the box, so he bought me some. It's basically an herbal conglomeration to ease stress and anxiety and reduce the production of - and I'm quoting the actual commercial here - "that nasty little stress hormone, Cortisol." Sooooo....we shall see. Even if it does nothing for my "stubborn belly fat", maybe it will ease my stress. And here I thought the only thing that could do that was a divorce, military school and a cabana boy. Who knew there was a pill for it?

I just finished the prequel to the Left Behind series, The Rising. It was spooky good. It was much darker and creepier than the others, even though there certainly wasn't anything cheery and happy about the Tribulation and the Apocalypse, which was the subject of the others. This one gave the background story about how Antichrist was conceived, born and raised and how the main dude in the Trib Force grew up. It was just creepy reading about Antichrist as a child. *shiver* The second prequel (I feel like I should be calling them "episodes") will be out this fall, with the third being released in June, 2006. By that time, the actual Rapture may have occured, geez.

Now I'm reading Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend by the same guy that wrote The Bridges of Madison County, Robert James Waller. I was deeply moved by Bridges and it remains one of my favorites, but I'm not usually drawn to romances these days. It was either Slow Waltz or The Good Earth again and I opted for Slow Waltz. I knew I was going to like it when, in the first few pages, the protagonist in the book has a particularly nasty idea of grabbing a chick by the hair and bending her over the kitchen table. Now that's my kinda book! I read 1/3 of it while the kids were swimming. I should finish it tonight.

Ach, well, Mr. Diva's on a pussy- huntin' mission now and I gotta go. Pussy as in momma and five kittens. Geez, ya perverts.

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Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...