This is one of those situations where it kind of pays to read the directions before you go off all half-cocked and answer the whole entire flippin' meme instead of just answering five like it asked you to. Oops. But you know, I like to talk about me so it really wasn't all that painful. So here ya go, ALL of my answers to a five question meme. Heehee.
If I could be a scientist...I would cure all of the bad stuff that makes kids sick. Especially asthma.
If I could be a farmer...I would not keep chickens that lay green eggs. That is just wrong, people.
If I could be a musician...I’d sing in for people whenever I could. I’d love to have one of those voices that stirs people, even if you’re just singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
If I could be a doctor...I’d spend more than 10 minutes in my patients’ rooms AND I would order blood work more than the doctors today do. A lot can be told by a simple stick of the finger, but no one seems to want to trauamtize anyone these days.
If I could be a painter...I’d paint. Duh.
If I could be a gardener...I wouldn’t kill any green thing that I touch like I do now.
If I could be a missionary...I’d really pray hard that God wouldn’t want me to go into the foreign mission field. Let me stay home and win American souls for ya, Jesus.
If I could be a chef...I’d be a pastry chef.
If I could be an architect...I would have to learn geometry and probably brush up on my math skills. And learn how to measure accurately....yeah, I’m thinking this isn’t not a plausible career choice.
If I could be a linguist...I’d talk right purty, I would.
If I could be a psychologist...I’d be more willing to diagnose OCD in children and save them a lot of pain and suffering as adults.
If I could be a librarian...I’d be a really good one. And not cranky. And I wouldn’t look down my nose at people like so many librarians do for whatever reason. They just all seem to literally look down their nose at you.
If I could be an athlete...I sure wouldn’t be fat, now would I?
If I could be a lawyer...it would force me to learn to be more aggressive.
If I could be an innkeeper...I’d keep an inn? Huh? Innkeeper? Come on.
If I could be a professor...I’d build a radio out of bamboo stalks, not coconuts. Everyone knows that coconuts are not radio wave compatible.
If I could be a writer...I would write the story that is sitting in the back of my brain and has been for over a year now.
If I could be a llama-rider....I would put one of those lampshades on it to keep it from slinging spit back at me.
If I could be a bonnie pirate...I’d say "Arrrrrrrrgh"a lot.
If I could be a service member...I’d have an excuse to wear camouflage.
If I could be a photographer...I’d stay totally away from taking pictures of babies in metal washtubs.
If I could be a philanthropist....I’d be very philanthropical. Philanthropicalistic. Philantropicastic. Uhhh....I’d be really nice.
If I could be a rap artist...I’m white. I should never be a rap artist. Just like Eminem should never be a rap artist.
If I could be a child actor...I’d hope someone would tell me I’m about 30 years too late.
If I could be a secret agent...I’d be able to wear black catsuits and carry a lethal cell phone and lipstick.
If I could be a comedian/comedienne...I’d get paid to make people laugh. And be pretty good at it, I think.
If I could be a priest...I’d have to undergo a sex change operation first. Oh and switch over to Catholic.
If I could be a radio announcer...I’d probably get fired. My voice is too whiny for the airwaves.
If I could be a phlebotomist...I’d probably get fired from this one, too. They kind of don’t like their lab people passing out on the patients.
If I could be a pet store owner...I would not sell spiders.
If I could be a computer programmer...I’d write a phoenetic version of HTML.
If I could be a police officer...I’d use my handcuffs when I was off duty.
If I could be a politician...I’d probably have to come out of the closet as a Republican.
If I could be a mom ... Am there, doing that, still wearing the maternity t-shirts
If I could be an underwater basket weaver...my baskets would be lopsided, I’m pretty sure of it.
If I could be a reality tv host... I’d take advantage of my position in order to get to judge the Miss American pageant or something like that.
If I could be a forensic pathologist...I’d try to snag a date with Gil Grissom.
If I could be a TV show writer... Seinfeld anyone?
If I could be a dictator of a small country...they would call me Your Diva-ness.
If I could be a ice cream store owner...I’d use homemade brownies in brownie sundaes.
If I could be a teacher...I’d be on Prozac.
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
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1 comment:
Jersey- Well, girl...someone has to like him!! I'm just glad it's not me, lol.
I had to throw away a maternity tshirt the other day and it nearly killed me! I guess it was time - my oldest is 8 1/2!! I'm surprised it hadn't dry-rotted by now!
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