Thursday, September 22, 2005

A few questions

Will I ever get to bed before midnight again? I really enjoyed that day a few weeks ago that I was in bed by 9:30, but it hasn't happened again.

Will my living room ever NOT smell like the dog poo my two daughters, while in their father's watchful care, traipsed through in the yard and then felt it necessary to bring the stench into the house?

Why can my husband not just keep an eye on them and keep them from stepping in dog poo? They never step in dog poo when I'm watching them because I actually watch them and say "LOOK OUT! YOU'RE ABOUT TO STEP IN DOG POO!"

Will my foot ever stop hurting? It's been hurting since June. I'm really tired of it.

Why do allergies have to even exist? They make my throat hurt.

Will life slow down?

Do I really want it to?

Am I insane?

Why is my face so broke out right now? I'm not PMSing or anything!

How in the WORLD did four little boys manage to DESTROY my toyroom today? I am thinking we should use little boys as weapons of mass destruction. The enemy will never know what hit them until it's all over and they're standing in the middle of a field knee-deep in Hot Wheels and Nerf darts.

Why do I want to find a sitter for my kids and go do something grown-up this weekend yet at the same time I'd love nothing more than to stay in my pj's all weekend and watch sappy chick movie after 80's movie after Disney movie?

When is enough really enough?

Does parenting ever get easier?

Does being a grownup get any more fun than this?

Why is it that even when life is gunky and I'm cranky that just rocking one of the babies makes it all seem better?

Do the people who are bound and determined to stay in Galveston really think they're making the wisest decision?

Why did God choose to bless me with such an amazing family? I don't deserve them. They amaze me daily.

Why can't Paul just put the mayonnaisey knife in the dishwasher? Heck, I'd even settle for the sink if he just wouldn't leave it on the counter top!

If a train leaves New York at 3pm traveling 55 mph and a bus leaves San Francisco at 4:30pm traveling 62 mph, which one will get to the indian casino faster?

Who would I talk to about making an "-ine" food group? You know - nicotine, caffeine . . . uh, those are the only two -ines I can think of right now.

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck?

Will my kids ever look back at the music of this decade and think "Man, that was some awesome music back then!"? Because the music of the 70's, 80's and 90's is awesome. I'm not sure the music of 2005 can compare in years to come.

What am I going to fix for dinner tomorrow night?

Who was the person that told Enrique Iglesias he was hot when he makes those ridiculous faces on those cologne commercials?

11 comments:

Dave in Ardmore said...

Ok here goes one at a time:
yes I am sure a pre midnight bed time is in your future.

Dogshit stench goes away or is usually replaced by something worse

Dads as a rule do not look down.

my feet hurt too.

allergies exist so drug companies can make money

I have no fuckin' idea.

no you dont.

We are all a little crazy, some more than others. Example: that freaky-ass micheal jackson.

I am not a dermatologist.

Small boys can fuck up a lead anvil.

Babies rock!

If they live in Galveston they probably have more money than sense.

I too have a great family, do like me and thank God. Or send them flowers, I know a guy......

Mayonaise really adds to the color of a good counter top and it helps the knife to not slide off.

The one that my wife is driving.

lister-ine, I saw it in a magaz-ine, that chick in Star wars was from Palpet-ine.....

A real wood chuck cant chuck shit. I am glad that is out in the open.

Today's music really sucks, with some exeptions I am partial to a lot of the "red Dirt" stuff like Crooss Candian, Jason Boland, Jack Ingram. Britney and the rest can blow it out their ass. And props to the Ozark Mountain Daredevils.

If you cook some chili I will bring the beer.

I will not dignify that question with a response.

Now a question for you:
How lame is it that at 12:26am I am answering your rhetorical questions when I have homework to do?

CISSY said...

And I'm up at the crack of dawn answering your questions because my husband, who never has never been a snorer in our whole 20-some years of marriage decided to become one at about 5 a.m. today, which means I'm done sleeping.

------------
You'll get to bed before midnight when your children all leave home...well not right away because when they first leave home you'll lay awake and wonder what they're doing and if they're ok.

Fabreze

It's been my experience that most men have a hard time "watching" themselves much less others for any extended period of time. There are some exceptions, but rare.

Motrin IB, massage -- hope that helps

I hate allergies too, but Alavert, an over the counter medicine that even melts in your mouth without water is the bomb. Works better than that non-drowsy prescription I paid $50 for, which doesn't make me drawsy just loopy. The alavert works with no side effects.

Thank God, life never slows down.

No, you don't want it to because when it slows down that means you've died.

No, perfectly sane as far as I can tell, but then again, I've been told I'm crazy on occasions.

Because God has a mean sense of humor...he likes to remind us we're not in control of our own bodies. You know, like I didn't get my first zit until I got my first wrinkle. My husband is losing the hair on top of his head, and it's growing out of his ears, nose etc. What a jokester, God is!

I love little boys. They are so worth it.

Solution: Send the kids to grandmas, get in your jammies and enjoy being a grown-up -- doing exactly what you want to do.

Enough is never enough. We're greedy.

Parenting NEVER gets easier. There are moments like when I hear my husband chat on the phone with my son for more than an hour and remember when the turbulent years, and thank God they're over. But it's still hard most days.

Sure it does.

Because babies are the best.

For them, probably. Think of how hard it would be to leave your house, your stuff...I don't know what I'd do. Though, I'm also confused. I lived on a tropical island in the Pacific for years. We had tons of big typhoons (Hurricanes) and our house never blew away. Few people died -- usually some American who wanted to see the big waves from the sea wall after being specifically told that he/she would be washed out to sea if they came near the sea wall.

Families are amazing. It's always good to stop and remind ourselves.

Because he knows you'll put it away for him. Next time call him back to the kitchen.

Hmmm, tough question. Considering the Amtrak line goes up to Washington state and then across, then it's likely it would be San Francisco, but then again some of the northeastern tribes have casinos. My guess would be the train that has the most seniors on it, so it would have to be New York.

I don't know any other 'ine foods.

I thought I remembered that you sew...or have a friend who does. Much cheaper and better quality than buying.

Some of it will, some of it won't be -- just like the 70s, 80s, and 90s music. Don't you just cringe a little in embarrassment when these self-appointed cultural experts make fun of music you danced to back in the day? You know they did to, but they are trying to be cool now by pretending they never did the Macarena.

Dinner - Friday night? Sounds like a pizza night to me.

I don't know but they are laughing their asses off everytime they see the commercial, and probably collecting their 10 percent from his fees.

Shannon said...

*I never get in bed that early-can't remember the last time I did, so no you probably won't.
*Go to Wal*Mart and rent one of those heavy duty steam cleaners.
*Don't get me started on men. :)
*My foot still hurts every morning. I still haven't gone to the doctor. Are you wearing your boot to bed??
*I hate allergies! Mine finally stopped for awhile. I think I am allergic to ragweed.
*I wish life would slow down a little. It is not the same as when we were younger. There's no time anymore.
*Naw your not insane! Just as insane as the rest of us!
*Mine is a little broken out. Maybe your pregnant Diva!
*Gosh, you are asking a bunch of questions.
*No, I don't think parenting will get easier.
*Love rocking babies! They are so sweet and innocent and peaceful.
*My cousin lives in Houston, but I'm pretty sure her and family have left.
*Love my family. I thank God everyday for them and this little baby he blessed us with.
*The knife thing-no comment
*Not even gonna answer the math question.
*Love caffeine(although I have quit it at the moment) I quit smoking years ago. The smell of it now makes me nauseated.
*Maybe someone from the Elks will let you borrow an outfit?
*A lot of wood
*No! The 70's and 80's music is the best. Always
*Chili does sound good-like Dave said. OOh, and pick up some fritos and cheese too.
*I haven't seen his commercials yet.

MrsCoach2U said...

You forgot "Why didn't I leave Sam at MrsCoachs house, she'll never notice one more kid".

Tiffany said...

Someone is not very good at calling other people back. Hmmm who could I be talking about?Anyway, I was wondering when you were going to take your next "mommy break". Just a thought...let me know

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
Here is a question for you to ponder: where is my blog? It was just there last night. Now I get a blank page. It WILL work under www, though. O Great Diva, what is the solution to my problem?

Thank goodness Dave has finally seen the light. The Ozark Mountain Daredevils light. Props to Dave.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Nevermind. Uh, yeah, me again. My blog problem seems to be solved. I emailed Blogger about 30 min. ago, and now it works. I am sure that was just a coincidence. So now you don't have to worry your purty little ol' red neck about it.

I am not crazy. My blog really was gone. I tried to access it from work around 1:00 during our teacher inservice day. Hey, I know I wasn't supposed to, but even IIIIIIIII know not to hold a faculty meeting in the computer lab.

FFwife said...

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Thank you. :) I loved the lines about the 4 boys. I have 2 and that is oh so true. I was once told that cleaning while having boys in the house was like nailing Jello to the wall.

I came vis Brian's weekly round up. I will be coming back.

Pearl said...

8356 butt cords for the woodchuck one - see http://www.getodd.com/stuf/stupid/woodchuck.html

Enough really is enough, but as the french say, when you are exhausted you still can walk further.

Being grownup is funner and funnier. Sometimes.

Rocking a baby, a cat or in a chair works wonders. So does rest.
Hope you're feeling better.

MrsCoach2U said...

Hillbilly Mom---
You are NOT crazy, my blog did the same thing a week or so ago. All the sudden it came back!

Redneck Diva said...

Dave-Thanks for answering my rhetorical questions!! Your answer about the casino CRACKED me up!!

We are very quickly approaching chili season and buddy, if you bring the beer all the way to Miami I will fix you the biggest pot of chili you've ever seen. Then I'm taking your wife to The Buffalo.

Cissy-Mr. Diva was reading over my shoulder last night and when he read that you said I should call him back to the kitchen over the mayonnaisey knife he said, "Does that really bother you?" I looked at him and said, "Uhh...yeah. The constant griping about it didn't give you a clue?" Geesh.

Thanks for answering my latenight, exhausted rhetoric!

Shannon-BITE YOUR TONGUE, woman! I am NOT pregnant! :D

If Dave drives up from Ardmore with the beer and I make a ginormous pot of chili I will definitely call you!!

Mrs.Coach-Every day since Thursday Sam has asked me when he can go back and play with Bryce. Do you think Bryce would do a sleepover here? Or I guess I should ask would you allow Bryce to sleep over here? Because Sam's birthday is in November and he's wanting to have a sleep over. He'd be tickled if Bryce could come. Think about it. We should be rid of the damn fruit flies by then.

Tiff-Yes, I know I'm bad about calling people back. I'm also really bad at returning emails and answering offline messages on Yahoo as well. I just pretty much suck in every department these days. Sorry, friend. But in my defense, I called you last night and you haven't called me back yet! HA!

HillbillyMom-I never thought you were crazy about the disappearance of your blog. Of course, I think you're crazy about plenty other things, though.

Glad all is in working order once more!

The Crazy One-Glad I made you laugh! Cleaning with boys in the house IS like nailing Jello!! That is a perfect description!

Glad you dropped in and even gladder that you'll be back! Isn't Brian just the best? I love that guy.

Pearl-Wow. I can't believe there's a place on the 'net to find out about woodchucks and their chucking? What a 'net we live in.

I'm better now that I've done a whole lot of nothing this weekend! Who knew that staying home and not running around trying to pretend I'm 19 again would be just the cure?