Yesterday on the way to Bub and Sis' farmette, Abby was picking through the mound of trash/junkmail/crap on the van floor. (Hey, I can only keep ONE thing clean at a time - right now it's the house because the baby eats things that are bad for him if I don't.) Well, she found one of those inserts that fall out of the Coupon Clipper - you know, the ones that show the pictures of missing children.
She said, "Mom, do you think this boy is still alive? Or do you think he's dead by now?"
I said, "Well, hon, it's really hard to say. I'd like to think that he's still alive, but I really have no idea."
"Well, it'd be really sad if someone killed him. He looks nice."
"Yes, it would be sad. But sometimes it happens, as awful as it is."
"Well here, let's just read about him. See if he sounds familiar to any of us."
I kind of smiled and said, "Okay, tell us about him."
She cleared her throat and started reading. Now keep in mind this child is in 3rd grade and is taking AR tests with 4th grade, 6 month books. She is a phenomenal reader, but she sometimes gets in a hurry and that's where things get funny.
"Okay, his name is Aaron Smith. He's five to six inches (translation: 5 foot 6 inches), a hunnerd and twenty uhlbs, his hair is blonde and he's been missing since October of 1998. If you have seen this child call one eight zero zero THE LOST....or visit double-u double-u double-u dot missing kids dot com. Ooh and here's the number to the Center for Missing and Exploded Children."
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The kids were discussing Disney characters today at lunch and somehow, this is where the conversation went-
TotOne: Tinkerbell is my daddy's girlfriend, ya know. (giggles hysterically)
Sam: How can Tinkerbell be your daddy's girlfriend? He's married.
TotTwo: Married or not, Daddy says he has a crush on Tinkerbell.
Abby: Well, Sam, for your information, he can get a divorce if he really loves Tinkerbell more than YaYa.
TotOne: Okay, okay, let me explain - Momma is his real, true girlfriend. Tinkerbell is just his ya know, other girlfriend. But Momma's the one that he kisses and stuff.
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Kady was annoying TotOne and TotOne got totally frustrated with her, threw her hands up inthe air in desperation and yelled, "Just. Stop. It! You are acting like such a MAN!"
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Abby told TotTwo he could be the daddy when they played Family. He sighed and said, "I don't really wanna be the daddy. I hear that when you're the daddy all you ever do is mess with bills, bills, bills."
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3 comments:
I think your children are a bit off. When you're the daddy, all you ever mess with is your own balls, balls, balls!
The Daddy at our house must do the above more than the bills because he wouldn't know we had electricity until it was cut off.
When I told Sis what he said, she said, "Well he sure as hell didn't hear that from his father who has never written paid a bill in our entire marriage!"
The only reason mine knows where to pay the water bill is because when I was on bedrest when I was pregnant with Kady, Mom wrote out the checks for our bills, I signed them and she made Mr. Diva deliver them.
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