Friday, September 02, 2005

"TOOTH FAIRY", ya big stud

Today my niece and nephew got off the bus at my house, so at 4 I had six kids in the house and they were ALL excited about the three-day weekend, even though the four-year olds haven't a clue what a three-day weekend even is. I just hid out here in my office, under the desk and they ravaged the house and screamed a lot. Good screaming. Happy kid screaming. Not "my toenails are being eaten off by rabid chipmunks" screaming.

Jill picked up Chan around 5:30, Sis and Bub picked up theirs around 6 or so. My kids were less wound up then, thankfully, but still fairly wound. I made enchiladas for Mr. Diva and me and the kids had popcorn chicken. They saw a commercial for "Snow Dogs" on Disney and asked if they could watch it. Hell, I have been so tired lately I was like "Heck YES you can watch it!" because the first thought that crossed my mind was that I could take a nap while they were being babysat by the television. I am just plumb tuckered out this week. I grabbed a blanket, kicked back in Mr. Diva's recliner and thought I'd read a bit, but I couldn't even read because the movie was so good! Now, I'm not talking like Emmy winning good or even Napoleon Dynamite good, but cute in a corny Disney movie kind of way.

I cried at the end. (We watched the last hour of Forrest Gump after Snow Dogs. I cried during it, too. I always start cryin' when Mama dies and keep on cryin' until I end up sobbing by the time Little Forrest gets on the bus. My eyes are SO swollen now.)

I also ate plain M&M's today. I hate plain M&M's. I definitely have PMS.

Mr. Diva came home at 8, an hour into the movie. He even got into it and sat down to watch with us. Around 8:30 Abby came over to me with a look of borderline terror on her face. She opened her mouth, hooked a finger in her cheek and said, "Ah oo aboze doo ooze dis toot?" Which, without a finger hooked in your cheek, translates into "Are you supposed to loose this tooth?" I couldn't tell exactly which one she was pointing to, but it looked pretty far back in her head so I said, "No, I don't think so. Why?" She turned even paler and said, "Uhh...'cuz it's loose." Now, if you really want to, you can wiggle a tooth. Even the permanent ones. I mean, they all move a little bit. So when I stuck my finger in her mouth and wiggled a VERY VERY LOOSE TOOTH I know I had a look of shock on my face because I really wasn't expecting it to be loose at all. I laughed and said, "Woah! That is really loose! So, yeah, I'm thinkin' that maybe you are supposed to lose that one." She busted into tears. "BUT WHAT IF I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE IT!!??" I explained that it really wouldn't be quite that loose if she wasn't supposed to lose it. She wasn't entirely convinced until Mr. Diva jumped on my dental bandwagon and she finally calmed down and curled up in his lap.

After a particularly funny part in the movie she got up and said, "I better go pee so I don't wet my pants! I nearly did just now!" and off she ran to the bathroom. The movie came back on, we all hollered at her and she was still in the bathroom. Finally I flipped the recliner down and was prepared to go back and find my daughter vomiting or something else oogey behind that bathroom door. I kind of hollered her name and then I heard the bathroom door bust open, she giggled and as she reached the end of the hallway she said through tears, "I just yanked that puppy right outta there!" She pulled the kleenex away from her mouth and drooled while she said, "I'm also bleedin' like a stuck hog."

The last tooth Sam lost the uh Tooth Fairy kind of ummm . . . fell asleep watching Napoleon Dynamite and umm . . . well, sometimes those dollar bills just "fall" down beside the bed and you really have to search for them come morning while the poor child bawls dejectedly. The last tooth that Abby lost, that durn tooth fairy was um . . . kind of blogging till 1 am and well . . . she realized what she'd done the next morning in the shower so she just left the money on the desk instead of under the pillow. Tonight, about every 10 minutes I holler at Mr. Diva, "TOOTH FAIRY! TOOTH FAIRY, OKAY????" He always nods when I say it so either he knows what I'm talking about or else he thinks it's a new code word for "I wanna play patty-fingers tonight, ya big stud." *wink wink nudge nudge*


Hillbilly Mom said...

OK, I've got a Tooth Fairy story for you.

My #2 son, the REAL redneck boy, put his tooth in a little wooden tooth box from Silver Dollar City. I scrounged around under his pillow, and found the box, but no tooth. Thinking it had fallen out, I stuffed a dollar in the box. The next morning he was happy to find his dollar. I thought that was the end of it.

3 days later, I'm blogging in the basement, and hear him hollering "ALL RIIIIGHT!" I went to see what was going on, and he said, "My tooth is still in my barrel of monkeys, where I hid it from the Tooth Fairy. Tonight I'm going to put it under my pillow and get another dollar."

I told him it wasn't nice to fool the Tooth Fairy, and that he was lucky she hadn't come back one night rip out one of his good teeth.

My Hillbilly Mama heard about this, and told me that he would never sleep again. She stopped short of calling 1-800-BAD-MOM, though.

Redneck Diva said...

HillbillyMom-LOL That's too funny!! Abby told me once she was going to trick the tooth fairy and I told her that if you try to trick the tooth fairy she puts a bad word in for you with Santa and the Easter Bunny and well, it's just not worth it to get blacklisted all because you want an extra dollar.

Abby is an extremely light sleeper, so the last three teeth she's lost she has gotten to keep because we try to get the tooth and she wakes up! Then we have to pretend we're covering her up or kissing her goodnight. She thinks that is quite a bonus, lemme tell you.

Redneck Diva said...

L-My parents NEVER forgot tooth fairy deposits so I was crushed the first time I did. Come to find out, I'm not the only imperfect parent. Guess my parents were really just that good!

We've done that duck and cover thing. Fortunately Abby's on the top of the bunk bed so we just hit Kady's bed underneath, lol.

How sweet - fairy wings...

Queen Of Cheese said...

The Tooth Fairy in our district (long story) SUCKS!!! He has used the child's own dollar, has given silver dollars and even Chuckie Cheese tokens. Darned kids, just couldn't wait till their dad got out of school to lose their teeth! Their lucky they didn't find cheese under their pillows. The Tooth Fairy even called in sick one night!!! Left a message on the answering machine during the day and everything!

Redneck Diva said...

Mrs.Coach-Chuck E Cheese tokens - WHAT AN AWESOME IDEA!! And well, the kids have gotten their own dollars a few times as well. Hey, they never figured it out. No harm done.

Wow. Left a message, eh? What a considerate fairy.

Queen Of Cheese said...

Yep, LeAnn will do anything. I had her call and leave a message that she was the tooth fairy's secretary and he called in sick and wasn't able to come so he'd come that night. I'm telling you, we need to move to a better TF district. We keep getting trainies or something.

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