Friday, March 11, 2005

When I was a kid, Spring Break was more exciting

I just lost an entire HUGE-ass post to the evil trolls of blogging that love to eat posts. Obviously they don't just live at Tripod. Rat bastard trolls.

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I wrote something about pizza. What was it...

Oh yeah.

Red Baron pizza is made by Schwan's.

The original post was much more informative. Now it's 11pm and I'm even more tired then I was an hour ago. Sue me.

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Today was Freaky Hair Friday at school. Stu-co Spirit Week or something. Sam sported a mohawk. Abby had twisty nubbin things all over head. We went after school from Fairland to Miami. With mohawk boy and nubbin girl. Oh the looks we got.

Of course, the looks could've possibly been because I had five, count 'em five, kids hanging off of my cart like maggots on a carcass. All squirmy and wiggly and movin' around incessantly. My husband, being the darling he is, said I looked like a trailer park ho with that many kids. Thanksbabyloveyoutoo. Dooderhead.

I saw Stormie, another GS leader in our service unit, and she said I was brave. I replied that no, I was insane. (Hi Stormie!)

When it was finally time to check out, the kids helped me put the stuff on the conveyer belt and then I took the mobile ones and lined them up in front of the counter of the in-store bank like they were getting ready to be part of a police line-up. I put them boy-girl-boy-girl and put their backs against the wall and told them if they moved they would NOT get to go to the video store. I walked back to the register and threw them all a really threatening glare. The cashier said, "Wow, I'm impressed! We hardly ever see kids who do what their parents say up here." And my first thought was, "Thank God you didn't see them in the cereal aisle then." I just smiled and said thank you, though. Hey, let her believe that well-behaved children DO exist. At least for awhile. She was only 20-ish, she'll have to quit believing in such fairy tales soon.

I saw a precious Menonite woman and her two adorable boys at the store tonight. As I trudged through the store in my wind pants (Which are too long and I step on them constantly which drives me batshit, but what do you do when you're only 5'2"?) and frizzy hair and noisy children hanging off my cart and I exchanged polite smiles and hellos with her, I almost longed for a little white bonnet thing and black panty hose. But then I remembered that panty hose suck.

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This morning as I had just stepped out of the shower I heard the kids doing their morning stuff. It was obviously KD's turn to pick out the morning music because rather than the Kidz Bop Kids singing horrible renditions of Kelly Clarkson and Hoobastank songs, we were listening to Mary Had a Little Lamb sung by Minnie Mouse. How refreshing. I was praying for the Kidz Bop Kids again. I had just flipped my hair up into a towel and was putting on my moisturizer when I heard Sam walking up and down the hall yelling, "Freak love! Get yer freak love here! FREAK LOVE! Fuh-freak Love!! Who wants a freak love?" I was furious that my son, who is only 6, knew about freak love and was even advertising it and WHERE the hell did he learn that shit anyway? I threw open the bathroom door and said, "WHAT did you say?" He meekly held up a glove and said, "Free glove, Mom?"

2 comments:

KarbonKountyMoos said...

Hey little blog sis - you got some 'splainin to do!

J said...

What HAVE you been teaching those kids?! Sheesh.