Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Oh it was Ladies' Night and Courtney gambled!

Yes, Courtney got to gamble, not work, at the Big Fancy Casino last night! A good time was had by all. Courtney, her mom and my mom (Well, Sis was supposed to, as well, but that's a long story) met up at the Lucky Turtle for dinner and $5 free and I hear that was a treat as well. My sincere hope is that next week I will get to attend the travelling gambling show, too.

See, next Tuesday starts Men's Night at the Big Fancy Casino and there ain't no way Paul is missing that. The deal has always been that I don't leave for Ladies' Night until after the kids go to bed, then he "watches" them. Well up until now the boys have been going to the Lucky Turtle for their $5 after Sis and I get home from class, but since Big Fancy Casino is GIVING AWAY A HARLEY DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE EVERY WEEK there is no way he is going to miss that. SO in order for him to get to go where he wants on Tuesdays, I should get to go where I want on Monday and not have to sit through Fear Factor and then put the kids to bed. Because, let's be honest, I do not like Fear Factor. Not one bit. The kids and the husband thinks it's the greatest show ever made. And I sit there holding back wretches and gags while it's on and silently pray for a time when the show is taken from the airwaves and my children don't think it's cool to eat blended rats and be covered in worm feces while their partner licks it off and spits it into a jar and then their second cousin twice removed has to drink it while standing on their head and then poop out a turd shaped like John Goodman in order to win. So I sit there miserable. All in the name of quality family time. Because if I come out here to the computer and God forbid, blog or something, I am neglecting the family. My gosh, does anyone else you know digress as easily as I do?

I'll quit ranting about Fear Factor now.

Okay, so last night my neighbor, Dana, got to go to Ladies' Night for the first time. Her husband works evenings and she doesn't get to do much in the evenings that she can't take her girls to. But her husband just had surgery and is home, so I kidnapped her and we ran to the casino, giggling like two teenagers. Okay, we didn't run. But she jumped into my van like she had just snuck out of her bedroom window and we were goin' to find us some cheap beer and boys, by golly. The cool thing about Ladies' Night is that, even though we all go as a group, we don't really like wander around in a big herd or anything. We all kind of do our own thing, then meet up occasionally, visit and then wander off again. Dana was chompin' at the bit to get gamblin' so off she went. Mom and Sis found me and we kind of walked around with our first of many, many free sodas in our hands, checking out the machines, seeing people we know, just the usual.

Mom had told me all weekend that there was a slot she wanted me to play. I am not a fan of slot machines, to be honest. I go more for the electronic Blackjack and Keno type games. But she was so excited to show me this game, so I thought I'd humor her. Mom and Dana sat down at two machines, about two machines apart. I would walk between the two of them, watching them play. There was a woman between them playing the Almighty Slot Machine that Mom was insistent that I play. So when the woman finally got up I was plopped down there and with a sigh, put my card in the machine. I was betting .25 with every spin. I'd win a few here and there, nothing exciting and I was regretting the decision to play this slot. Well, regretted it until I started winning. I won quite a bit for a nickle machine, too.

Of course, I now have bruises on my right arm and back where every time the machine looked like it was going to stop on something wonderful Mom would smack me and gasp. This cracks me up to no end. She's a RIOT! At one point, after she brought me a fresh free soda, she started to walk off. I hollered "MOM!! You cannot leave! You are my good luck charm!" and as she walked by I won 80 nickles. I played it back down to $15, figuring that anything I took out was profit since I was gambling on their money. So with $15 cash in my pocket I was on a mission to find a RedBall machine. And found one we did. Sis sat next to me and played a slot while I plugged in my usual numbers and started hitting the button. Win a little, lose a little, pretty typical....then I got the bonus spin and won 75 nickles. Then bonus spun off the bonus spin and won 525. 600 nickles!!! Thirty whole dollars!!!!!!!! Since I was down to $3 when that happened I was pretty happy. You'd have thought that I'd won a million, the way Sis and I were hollering and laughing. I played it down to $29 and cashed out. I walked out $29 to the good last night.

We stood around and talked for 30 minutes or so, watched a guy plug $700 into two machines simulataneously, and walk away with nothing. That was gut-wrenching. I don't know how people do it.

None of our crowd won the drawings last night and after the final one, Dana and I said our good-byes and headed home. I was almost out of town when my cell phone started ringing. I knew by the ring it was Sis' cell phone. I missed the call but called her right back but the phone kept saying the call failed and I couldn't figure out why. When I finally got through it was my mom's shaky voice on the other end and I thought something bad had happened. She said, "WHERE have you BEEN???" I was about to panic and asked what was wrong.

Sis won $347.00 right after Dana and I left. Mom was freaking out. It was hilarious, I gotta say, even if she did scare me.

The boys won last week. Sis won last night. Don't you think it's about Mom's and my turn? Huh? Oh Great and Mighty gods of Indian Gaming don't you think it's about time you threw a jackpot our way?????? It doesn't even have to be a gigantic one - a small $100 pot would be fine with me. Mom would faint at $50. We're really pretty easy, honest. Something, okay?

(Where else in all of Blogdom do you get to read pathetic pleas to nonexistent indian gaming gods? Tell me that one.)

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