Monday, May 02, 2005

Gambling sucks

Well, the Buffalo sucks. The Turtle sucks. Gambling sucks.

Obviously I have offended and angered the gods of Red Ball and they are demanding the sacrifice of a vestile virgin if they are ever to pay out again. Or at least this is what I'm assuming since I ONLY SEEM TO BE LOSING MY ASS THESE DAYS.

Trouble is, I don't even know where to find a regular virgin, much less a vestile one.


I read in the paper yesterday that there is a Gamblers Anonymous meeting this coming Thursday at the hospital in Miami. A few of us decided to meet up at the Turtle and carpool. Ya know, since gas is so expensive and all.

Last night when I wrote my sister a check to pay her back the $20 I borrowed at the Turtle, I wrote in the memo "Gambler's Anonymous dues". She found it amusing. So did Mom. It was simply a cry for help, people, yet I'm so damn funny no one can hear my sobs of desperation.


(Cousin Stacey, please do not call Aunt Edie and ask her for the name and number of the family counsellor, k?)

Well, I'm off! Must go take a nap in order to be fresh and rested for tonight's gambling run.

1 comment:

Cousin Stacey said...

Being the proactive person that I am ......I already have the number. I made you a private appointment for next Tuesday at 1. Don't be late, k.