I have discovered that when I am in a casino and I have money on my person, I simply cannot stop putting it into a machine. This is what we know as "compulsive gambling", folks. It's bad. I haven't like, put us in the poor house by any means. Our bills are paid, the kids are fed and the electricity is still on, but I have decided that I do not like the way I feel when I can't stop. Therefore, it will be awhile until I go back to a casino. If ever.
I have also discovered that if there is a box of little chocolate frosted donettes in my house, I simply cannot stop stuffing the little bastards into my mouth. This is what we know as "compulsive donette consumption". I don't like the fact that I cannot stop eating them, but I sure like the way they taste. Therefore I will now spend all excess former gambling money on chocolate donettes.
I'm a slave to my addictions. Dammit.
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
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3 comments:
Chocolate Donettes DO kick ass, don't they? Just imagine now, how many donettes you can buy when you hit that big jackpot. Now go, stuff your money in the machine and get that jackpot. Perhaps you can someday graduate to "Hostess Os, raspberry filled powdered donuts."
But only after hitting the jackpot.
OOh ooh, when I win the big one I can buy a whole case of those pink coconutty Sno Balls!! I love those things!!! Even if I do spend the rest of the day picking pink coconut out of my teeth.
Thanks for putting things into perspective, Derek! If anyone's going to come through as a voice of reason, it's you.
Oh no, if you're trying to avoid gambling - you'd better be careful if you visit Montana. But we also have lots of Sweetheart Bakery outlets and they sell lots of chocolate donettes. Seriously addicting stuff.
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