Tuesday, May 24, 2005

When does school start again?

No really. When? And is it too late to enroll them in summer school? Kady, too? Seriously. Today all summer vacation is making me want to do is get a job and let someone else slowly be driven insane. I'll pay really well, too.

If I hear "You're a butthole" followed by "No I'm NOT!" followed by "YES YOU ARE" followed by "I'M TELLING" one more time I'll scream.

If I hear "Mommmmmmmma!! Sissy's bein' mean to me!" one more time I'll vomit.

If I hear "Bring it on" one more time I'll throw something. Hard.

If I hear "Momma, why can't we fwim when it's wight-nening?" once more I'll throw myself into the pool while holding a lightning rod.

If I hear "Mom, Sam's watching TV and you told him he couldn't and he's doing it and that means he's DISOBEYING you" I will stick my finger in a light socket.

If I hear "Sam if you don't do what I tell you to RIGHT NOW I will tell Mom and she will BEAT YOU" one more single solitary time I will find a really poisonous spider to bite me this time.

Right now my eldest child is singing a song with the lyrics "Sam's in tru-uh-uh-ble and he's gonna get a spa-ang-ang-king and I don't ca-air-air-air. Cuz he's a stoooooooopid little bru-uh-uh-ther and Mom loves me mo-ore-ore-ore than she loves himmmmmm". Ain't she great?

So in response to the song his sister wrote Sam walked up to his oldest sister, leaned as close to her ear as he could and just screamed like a little girl. Really. Really. Loud.

She hit him.

He is crying.

Now Kady is trying to beat her brother's decible rating with screams of her own.

I need a drink.

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