Saturday, May 28, 2005

What lies beneath

We had one of Sam's friends in the van with us yesterday. Sam, Ab and Owen were in the back. Suddenly out of the blue Sam says, "Ow! I hurt my nuts!" I said, "Sam, that's enough!" But Abby and Owen were giggling themselves hysterical and Sam was playing off of them, really reiterating the fact that his nuts were in some kind of peril. I said, "Son, honestly. I doubt you hurt them that bad. Now, hush." He said, "What? I have nuts. I hurt them. Why can't I talk about them? Besides, 'nuts' is just my well you know...my p word." I quickly said, "No, son, your nuts are not the same thing as your penis."

Silence from the backseat.

Then a quiet, "Well, then what exactly are nuts?"

Silence from the front seat.

I was trying to figure out how to explain this to my children in the presence of another child that wasn't a direct product of my own uterus. You never know what people tell their kids. And although I knew Owen has two older brothers and I pretty much figured he knew more about testicles than I ever would, I wanted to err on the side of caution. Then excitedly Owen suddenly pipes in with "They're the things below your penis!" And then giggles erupted again from all three of them. And my eldest child and her ever-present thirst for knowledge asks, "So what are nuts really called? Like, what's the real name for them?" I said, "Testicles," and cringed at how they'd react. Then Sam goes, "Well, then I hurt my testicles!!!" Much laughing ensued. From the front and back seats.

That is now the word of the day. Everything is a testicle or related to testicles. Tonight as Kady was attempting a hasty dismount from the trampoline, she hit her pubic bone and gosh, I know that had to hurt. She was bawling and squalling, holding her cooter and dancing around. I said, "What'd you hurt, princess?" Sam took off running and I heard him yell, "Aunt Pam, Aunt Pam!!! Kady hurt her testicles!!!" My sister in law came around the side of the house and said, "Uhh...Kristin.....Kady hurt her what?"

I gotta have a talk with that boy.

5 comments:

KarbonKountyMoos said...

Aren't those what octopusses have? I know, I know it's octopi.

Hillbilly Mom said...

My 7 year old just discovered the word "wiener." I told him he was having hot dogs for supper (which he has every other night because he only recognizes two food groups: hot dogs and chicken nuggets)and he said, "But Dad said we are having WIENERS!" Then he put his hand over his mouth and giggled. So now he says that every other night..."You mean WIENERS.Ha ha ha!" Darn those redneck men and their wieners--they just can't stop talking about them.

Elizabeth Rushing said...

*found your blog on random
that was a really cute, quick story- most enjoyed.

Redneck Diva said...

Moos - LOL Funny you should mention that. Sam actually told my mom last night that he had tentacles. She spit sweet tea all over the place.

Hillbilly Mom - They really can't, can they? Gosh, if only I were lucky enough for him to find the word weiner funny. But no...he's gotta go for testicles.

Elizabeth - Thanks for commenting! Hope to see you around again sometime!!

Jerzeegrrl said...

It's so funny, because this came up with my brother and his son over the weekend. He was "touching" them and asking his mother what they were. It took everything she had not to laugh before saying "go ask your dad". Apparently, my nephew has taken to "squeezing" his testicles, which he told his dad, "makes my tummy hurt when I squeeze them". Hello? Don't do that anymore and it won't hurt your tummy! It was killing me listening to this story because I know in another year or so, my son is going to be asking the same things. I'm not ready, Lord! I'm not ready.