Saturday, April 30, 2005

A delightful bowl of tidbits. Again

Folks, this is going to be the trend for the next two and a half weeks. You will just have to put up with the sporatic, tidbit-filled posts. I'm a horrible blog owner and I'm sorry. Forgive?

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Friday I went skating with Sam's class. If you want to find muscles that you haven't used in awhile, just for kicks and giggles, go roller skating. I took Abby a few years back and didn't fall once. Not the case yesterday. And just a note: 6 year olds, when they fall, can jump right back up and continue on. 32 year olds, when they fall, have to crawl their fat selves to the wall and pray that no one is looking.

The original plan was skating and a picnic, but since the frickin' weather has gone from pleasant, above normal temperatures to the Arctic Tundra in a matter of a week, the picnic was nixed. (And while we haven't actually experienced tundra-esque weather, it's still really cold). So upon leaving the skating rink, my neighbor Dana, asked if we could put our kids on the bus to go back to school because she needed to stop at Lowe's. Yeah baby. A No-Kid Trip to any store, even Lowe's, is a total score. By the time we finished her home improvement errand, the picnic in the lobby of the gymnasium was half over. I stood there and watched the kids finish up, visited with the teachers and a parent or two, then walked back over to the classroom. As much as I want to see Fat Albert, the thought of watching it with nearly 40 kindergarteners kind of put a damper on my desire. So I skipped out of the cinematic experience. I was going to go home and do some much-needed housework, then as the day worn on gloomier and colder my thoughts turned more to a nap instead. And upon leaving the school, the casino began to call.

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Yes, I skipped my son's field trip day to gamble. Nope, no compulsive gambling here. I won $130, so hush.

I managed to blow the afternoon. I didn't talk to anyone except for a few exclamations when my stranger/neighbor on the next machine would win something or to reply to my neighbor/stranger's exclamation when I won or to accept congratulations when the cashier said "And good luck to you!" as she'd hand me my winnings. It was nice to just sit in the smoke-filled casino and drink free pop and mindlessly hit a button all afternoon. Sometimes I just need to do that.

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I got home in time to meet the bus, fed the kids an early dinner and we went to town for karate. Sensei cut his hair off!!! And upon realizing the surprising new fact that his oh-so-sexy ponytail down the middle of his back was missing, I was momentarily disappointed and thought that quite possibly I wouldn't find him attractive anymore, but then I looked at his tight, lean, hot body and his gorgeous face and decided that I could still continue with my crush. Life is still good.

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We stopped at Wal*Mart after karate for groceries, which is our usual post-karate activity. I bought a super cool Napoleon Dynamite poster and it will be affixed to my office wall by tomorrow. Yessssssss. Oh yeah, we got food and stuff, too.

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Paul was playing PS2 when we got home and the house was all toasty. Not from an actual fire in the fireplace, but from his retarded firetrap of a kerosene heater which he insists is a much better alternate heat source. Fact of the matter is, he doesn't want to go out and split any more wood for the fireplace. But it made the house warm last night, so I only complained of the stench once or twice. I wanted to go to the movies, but the theatre in town has quit playing The Ring 2 already and I didn't want to drive to Joplin to see it. So we called the sitter and we visited with the benevolent Turtle.

I have decided that I would see more profits from my gambling if I would leave the husband at home. Or if I do take him, if I would quit giving him my money. Over the course of the evening I gave him over $100 of what I won. Grrrr. I am too nice. When he won half of that $885 jackpot did I see any of that? Nope. When I won $516 the other night, did I give him $100 when I walked in the door? Yep. I also gave him $50 when we walked into the Turtle last night, then throughout the course of the evening gave him over $50 more. Mooch. That's what he is, a mooch. And I'm an idiot for letting him.

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I nearly got a tattoo out of the evening ,though. A guy I graduated high school with has been on a really lucky streak as of late. He was playing again last night and we were talking about how I have managed to blow all of my $516 winnings (minus what I'm tithing out of it) already and how I didn't get the tattoo I wanted. He asked how much I needed for it. When I told him $50 he said, "Well, I can win that in 10 minutes." I laughed and said, "Well, great. Then YOU can go get a tattoo then!" Later when I walked back down to see how he was doing he asked if I'd won enough for that tattoo yet. Right when I shot him a dirty look that said no, he got a bonus game. He said, "Tell you what, if I win the $110 on this spin, I will take you to Joplin tomorrow and get you that tattoo." Then he had me pick the winning "jewel". Dadgum it all if I didn't pick the one that only had $30 behind it. So much for that. I think he knew I was unlucky and his chances of actually having to buy me that tattoo were slim to none.

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Today was supposed to begin construction on the Greatest Playhouse Ever Built and when the guys got out there to start putting the floor frame together they discovered that instead of leaving Home Depot with nine 10-foot 2x6's, they only left with two. Oops. They kind of got sidetracked somehow. You know how men are in home improvement stores. So that put Phase One on hold till tomorrow. Paul is at Lowe's in Grove right now picking up the missing lumber and they will commence to constructing again tomorrow after work. As soon as the guys drove up this evening, Sam ran into the house, got his Home Depot carpenter's apron, filled it full of his tools, put on his Bob the Builder hardhat and headed out the door. Oh my gosh, it was cute.

He wants to connect with his daddy so badly. Too bad Paul has a hard time realizing that sometimes. I'd like to whack him upside the head with one of those 2x6's and make him realize what he's missing out on. Don't get me wrong, he's a good daddy and he's better than he used to be and a far cry better than his dad was, but still he gets caught up in the big stuff (ie, building a playhouse of TajMahal proportions) and sometimes loses sight of the little, more important, stuff (like wanting to be so much like daddy that you dig out the tool belt you haven't played with in months, but you see daddy wearing one so now you must wear one, too).

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My kids think I am the coolest mom ever tonight, btw. I let them eat dinner in the toyroom while they watched American Dragon, Jake Long. I am so cool. Now they're getting bubble baths just to cinch the deal. I might somehow win back a nomination for Mother of the Year. It's a longshot at this point, but I'm still hopeful.

6 comments:

Stacie said...

You guys and that Turtle and that Buffalo. I eagerly await each days' post to see if they were good to you again or if they got the best of you instead.

Oh, and I DO think it would be really cool if you could get the gecko to do the robot. Or maybe you could do it? The Elaine, maybe?

Jerzeegrrl said...

Diva~

Really, the roller skating part of the story had me "rolling"! I can just imagine you falling at the skating rink and crawling to the wall to pull yourself up. It nearly made me tinkle! Sorry to laugh at your expense, but if it makes you feel any better, I haven't been roller skating in like 10 years, so who knows how good I would be now.

Redneck Diva said...

Stace - Well, the fricking Gambling Wildlife got the best of me all damn weekend long. But my right boob is itching and the last time that happened I won $516. And I'm an not superstitious in the least.

Jersey Girl - I'm glad I made you laugh. Every time I bump my bruised and battered knees and ass I laugh too. But it's a bitter kind of laugh.

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