Thursday, April 14, 2005

COUSIN STACEY IS IN THE HAY-OUSE!!!

Although I haven't actually seen her, she is in Oklahoma and we are SO going gambling in a couple of hours! Her birthday is tomorrow and she gets buttloads of free money then, but she spent two hours this evening with a certain great aunt AND her grandmother and bless her heart, she needs some time "alone". I'm so glad I'm the one she chose to be alone with!

Actually I've had the gambling itch all day today, but never got a moment without the children. But ya know, last week during one of the Nite Owl parties, we overheard this conversation:

"Hey Marty! How's that new baby?"
"Great! He's out in the car!"
"Awww...I'll have to go out and see him."
"Sure! He's out there with the other kids."

Now, I realize that I might be considered a little on the "eager" side when it comes to my gambling habits, but the day I load up my children at 1am and drive them to the casino and LEAVE THEM IN THE CAR WHILE I GAMBLE, is the day that all of you out there in Blogland had better stage an intervention. And I am not kidding.

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Today in the van:
Kady: Mommmmmmmmmmmmm! TotTwo said boys don't have boobies!
TotTwo: Did NOT! I just said boys don't have big boobies!
Kady: Did too! You said girls have big boobies and boys don't have any!
TotTwo: Did NOT KAY-DEE! I said girls have big boobies and boys have little ones.
Kady: Okay. Fine. (dramatic pause) Momma's boobies are on her stomach!
Me: Woah. Hollllllllld it! My boobies are on my chest not on my stomach!
Kady: They sure look like they on your stomach.
Me: (surreptitiously feeling my boobs to see if they are indeed on my stomach.) They are SO on my chest!
TotTwo: Boys have little boobies on their chests, Kay-dee and guess what? When boys get bigger their little boobies turn into muscles! Girls' boobies just get fat.

Now, I realize that my boobs aren't quite as perky as they used to be, but I think the underwires do a pretty good job keeping them up off my stomach! Don't they? Oh please, God, don't let them actually look like they're on my stomach....

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I spent two full days at my sister's house packing and moving them. We have accomplished so much, yet there is still so much to do. I am simply amazed at how much stuff people accumulate. I'm not pointing fingers, trust me. I know if we moved it would be the same way. In fact, last night after a drive home at 11:30, fighting sleep the whole way, I tucked in my very exhausted children and sat down on the ottoman to take off my shoes. I looked over at Paul, who was sprawled out in the recliner looking pretty exhausted himself. He wearily looked up and said, "We can never get a divorce." I laughed and said, "Oooookay, wanna give me a reason behind that statement?" He rubbed his eyes and said, "If we ever decide to get a divorce let's just draw a chalk line down the middle and share, okay? I don't want to move. Ever."

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Yesterday Sis and I had made a quick run to Fairland to get another load of boxes and I left Chandler at Mom's for Jill to pick up there. I guess she commented several times on Mom's berry wreath on her front door, how much she liked it, where could she get one, etc. Mom called me today and said she had found another length of the garland she used and did I think she should offer to sell it to Jill? I said that I'd buy it from her if she'd make it into a wreath for me and I'd give it to Jill for Mother's Day. Well, all day long I kept going back there to look at that wreath, wondering how in the world I was going to store it for another few weeks and also knowing that I hate keeping surprises. So I decided I was going to just give it to her. I am SO glad I did! The kids were outside playing when she got here and I asked her to step in for a minute. I told her that I had her Mother's Day present if she wanted it early. She laughed and said, "You got me a Mother's Day present?" I said, "Well, yes! If you weren't a mother I wouldn't have your kid every day, now would I?" So I came down the hall with that berry wreath and you'd have thought I had given her the Ark of the Covenant. She did a happy dance right there in my foyer and hugged me all the while squealing like a kid on Christmas morning. I'm thinking she liked it. I love making people happy. That sounded very co-dependent, didn't it?

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Thin Mints have got to be the best cookie on the planet.

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I have done 7 loads of laundry today. Go me.

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Today while picking up the school kids, Kady grabbed another mommy's hand and started to walk out the door with her before realizing it wasn't me. I didn't see it, but the two Kindergarten teachers saw it and had a great big laugh about how cute Kady was when she realized and all that. What disturbs me most is - that woman was FAT! Dammit. Now I'm regretting eating all those Thin Mints.

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Other things I have accomplished today:
*I finally broke down and washed all of the dirty pots and pans that sat on my stove for days and days because I kept asking Paul to do it and he kept ignoring me.
* I cleaned off my bar.
* I cluttered up the bar again.
* I took a 30 minute nap this afternoon.
* I put all of my winter shoes up and replaced them with my 40 gazillion pairs of flip flops and sandals.
* I took all of the sweatshirts and long sleeves out of my closet and replaced them with t-shirts. Did you know I have 7 Eskimo Joe's t-shirts? I counted. That is kind of pathetic, I think.
* I managed to drink a whole pot of coffee and nearly an entire 2-quart pitcher of sweet tea by myself today. (Tater made the comment once that when I die my body will continue on for days until the caffeine finally quits.)

Yep. That's pretty much what I've accomplished today.

2 comments:

Irish Divinity said...

It is so nice to know that my husband is not the only one out there that thinks a blowjob is a bargaining chip!! lol

Anonymous said...

Hey! Check it out! I am able to comment. Yeah me! Okay, let me clarify the whole Kady with the wrong mommy situation. First things first...you look NOTHING like her. I think you had been standing in about the spot she was when Kady sorta walked over to me. Then one of my kiddos tried to hug her or something and she walked back to where you were, or had been. She didn't ever look. She just walked and grabbed. That's what made it so funny! When she finally glanced up, the look on her little face was priceless. Then she just ran to the first person she saw that she knew, me. I am sooo jealous that you did seven loads of laundry. I so need to do that. I shall see you tomorrow evening.