Tuesday, April 04, 2006

That sucks

I woke up Saturday morning with a headache. I got up, poured the kids some milk, set the box of PopTarts on the table, popped some Tylenol and headed for the couch. I slept there with cartoons and sibling bickering as background noise until 10 or so. We were having company that night, but the head, it was hurting so badly that only sleep was possible. So after I dragged my lazy rear off the couch and threw in some laundry, cleaned the kitchen and fed the kids, we prepared for a trip to Wal*Mart (and the ensuing poultry fiasco). I went into the bathroom to run a brush through my hair and was just turning to walk out when I noticed it: a hickey. On. My. Neck. For all the world to see. I had a hickey.

I stomped up the hall, stopped in front of Paul's recliner and said, "Thanks. a. lot. jerk." He looked up innocently and said, "Whut?" I pointed to my neck without saying another word. "Whut?" he said again. Quietly, yet vehemently, I stated, "A hickey! You gave me a hickey!" He just grinned like a possum.

Abby walked through about that time and asked, "What's goin' on? OH MY GOSH YOU HAVE A HICKEY ON. YOUR. NECK. MOTHER!!!" By this point, Paul is about to fall out of his recliner laughing and I am about 47 shades of red. I just said, "Yeah. I know."

"WHY would you let him suck on your neck like that?" she asked, obviously disgusted at the mere thought, which is fine by me. I hope she always thinks boys sucking on necks is gross. I said, "Oh, Abby. Unfortunately, someday you'll understand."

She turned around to walk away, flipped her hair over her shoulder and said, "Well, you can't taste that good."

7 comments:

Jen Wood said...

Gotta love this one! I can only hope my girls think of hickeys as a form of tasting! lol

Jennifer said...

Ya gotta love it - my dd was very curious as to what hickeys were after we left your house, wonder where she heard about them? Glad you had fun! :)

Irish Divinity said...

OH my gosh, I have to stop reading this at work, because I laugh so hard out loud!!!!!

Natsthename said...

LOL! That's hilarious! HAH! Kids don't get ALL of the fun!

Anne said...

Hah! You have a hickey! Thats so funny..

Well not too funny because I was just sitting here wishing I had a boy to give me a hickey! :)

Shannon said...

LOL a Hickey!!!! You know when she gets her first hickey you will be hearing about yours. "MOM remember when dad gave you that hickey?" LOL
tell Abby that Chance came to our Nichols school carnival last Friday. His sister Corie is in PTO with me.

Redneck Diva said...

Jen W, tell them that getting and giving hickeys will give them a fungus. Abby has had a fungus on her face recently and we told her it was from kissing *Chance* - you should've seen how she blushed! Now if I can convince the other two...

Jennifer, I'm sorry my kid corrupted your kid! Those darn Hoover kids...

Divinity, I can just see you laughing!!

Natalie, I can remember back when we thought hickeys were the coolest thing ever and you rocked if you got one. Now, I'm just mortified!

Anne, I'll lend you Mr. Diva any time. He seems to be so good at giving them neither of us realized he had!

Shannon, ahhhh *Chance*. She's going to be miserable this summer without him. Of course, they don't live that far from us...I see both sets of us parents keeping the roads hot. I'm not ready for this. And I'm even less ready for the thought of him EVER getting close enough to her neck to even think about giving her a hickey!