Monday, April 10, 2006

Squished

I have mentioned before the breaking of the underwires in my bras that I seem to do quite often because obviously I have Wonder Boobs and don't know the power my breasts hold. (*cue super hero music*) Well, I was down to two bras - one jersey gray and one black leopard print. (I know, hubba hubba. Shh, though...I'm secretly a sex fiend, but don't tell my husband.) The jersey gray one could be worn under white shirts - granted, thick white shirts, but still white shirts nonetheless. The leopard print, however, cannot. Well, sadly last week I broke the underwire in my hideable bra. I now have ONE BRA, people! And it's leopard print.

Awhile back I bought a sports bra in an attempt to preserve the last two real bras until I could make a Lane Bryant run. I figured that on the days I was staying at home I could wear a sports bra because well, do the kids really need to see my breasts all heaved up and perky?

I have come to a very serious conclusion - Sports bras are not called that because they are for wearing during sports. They are called that because it's a workout to get into one.

And do I even need to go into the fact that when I wear one I have a Uniboob? A UNIBOOB, people! Granted, as I said, the kids don't need to see perk and definition, but I do! It's disheartening to see my ample bosom squashed down into a rather benign looking hump on my chest.

And last week, Tater bounced a quarter off my Uniboob. It went pretty far, too. Of course, I laughed, but inside I was crying.

13 comments:

RJ said...

lol, my daughter has the same problem....I know they are not as pretty, but try the ones w/o the wire...I like them better and they seem to last longer.
RJ

Anne said...

Okay..the Uniboob make me laugh so hard I snorted. Thats freakin hilarious. :)

The Real Kidd said...

Oh the uniboob. Been there, done that. I'll agree with ya, it's not a pretty look. Plus hubby gives me 9 kinds of hell about it. LOL, I feel your pain honey, really I don.

Redneck Diva said...

RJ, I would love to wear a wire-less bra, but alas, the ol' girls are kind of giving in to gravity and the underwire gives them a little incentive to attempt perkiness. (At least until I take my bra off, anyway!) They need all the help they can get.

Anne, you should've been on the receiving end of the bounced quarter - there was much snoring going on then, too.

Shannon said...

Oh, to have that problem..........

need I say more?
LOL

Anonymous said...

Too funny........and hilarious because i can relate....keep it up, you make my day.

Jennifer said...

I love my Lane bryant bra (check out pics on my blog). However, I am to the point that WTF why do I have to wear a bra? Okay because they are huge but still... I hate bras....

Irish Divinity said...

And here I really want a boob job or I guess the correct term is breast enhancement, ah hell I just want to not have the chest of an underdeveloped 13 yr old!!!
I guess you could go with jen's suggestion of braless!! that would negate the uniboob! where exactly do you come up with these words????

Irish Divinity said...

Me again. Did you ever go play at www.snapshirts.com to do the word cloud from your blog?

Natsthename said...

LOL. I hate uniboob! I just started working out again and I am looking for a sport bra that WILL NOT give us big gals the uniboob. I let ya know if I find any!

Meanwhile....tee hee. I feel your pain!

MrsCoach2U said...

I went strapless bra shopping this weekend! Thankfully my EE boobs shrank to a DD after my surgery so I can shop in normal stores, in their Jersey cow section mind you but at least normal stores!

Anonymous said...

LOL I had the uniboob problem a while back. I have found that the sports bras that zip in the front... and almost looks like a bra... aren't as bad at it....
How ever, the odds of finding one that fits ya is slim to none, and I think Slim's been dead a while lol. Naw not really. You should be able to find one, nothing else at Wal-Mart. Anywho taking out for now. Have a good one!
Wanda

Derek Knight said...

ha ha ha.

ha.