Sunday, October 30, 2005


I'm wondering if I will ever, ever recover from the lack of sleep I'm experiencing these days.

I'm too old for this shit.

The yellow jackets appear to be gone. The plexiglass emtombment over the closet door hasn't failed us so far and even though it's a bit creepy to have a glass-encased closet door, hey at least it's sealed up. When I was a kid, there was some restaurant around here that had one wall in the lobby that was nothing but a big honey bee comb thing in a glass wall. It was cool when I was six, but I think if I had to look at a wall of honeycomb (not the cereal) now I'd freak out. This door reminds me of that. Uh, well, except there aren't any bees in it and well, they'd be yellow jackets anyway.

Jill, Chan's mom, made these marshmallow things last night and brought a whole bowl of them to my house and even left them with me. OHMIGOSH I could eat a whole lot of them. She said you freeze the big jumbo marshmallows, then spear 'em with a toothpick, roll 'em in a caramel mixture and then roll that ooey gooey goodness in Rick Krispies. YUH-HUM. I love her for leaving them here. I love her a whole lot. She actually left them for the kids, but they all turned up their picky little noses and refused to even try them. Fine by me, ya little shits.

Mr. Diva and I went to the casino last night at 1am with $90 between the two of us. We walked back in our house at 4:15am with $703. We actually could've come home with close to $1000, but we really enjoyed playing. And I'm just happy that the Diva kids are getting Christmas presents this year! Hey, it was touch and go as to whether Santa was visiting. We took $60 of that $90 we gambled with from the children and $15 of it was from winning free play at the casino's birthday party Friday night. Hey, the kids were gone, they didn't know we borrowed from them. Hush.

So the money we borrowed from the kids has now been magically transformed into some TMNT "Turtle Talkies", a set of handcuffs (no, I didn't buy them), a Kim Possible GBAdvance game, and a Weebles camper with a toilet that really flushes and trust me I know this because those Weebles have really small bladders and they pee a lot and oh my gosh make the flushing STOP. I also bought us a new phone because the one currently hanging in the kitchen won't hold a charge at all anymore. And they don't make that particular kind of battery anymore either. So now we have a new phone. And I have new eyeshadow and Mr. Diva and I both have new things of deodorant and dadgummit, the kids are going to have Christmas.

And now I must go once more to yet another social event. Tonight is our neighborhood's hayride. The first group to go will be the little kids. Then we'll take the big kids out and scare the shit out of them. The trail is littered with Mr. Diva's Wal*Mart co-workers and their wives, neighborhood daddies, coffins with real people in them, chainless chainsaws with spray bottles attached, witches and cauldrons, a graveyard and swooping corpses from the trees. I can hardly wait. Somehow in the whole preparation thing I got nominated to be the storyteller on the trailer. Why, I have no idea. I'm not so good at telling stories unless I'm typing them on my blog. I guess this where a laptop might come in handy, I dunno. A brave new hayride or something.


~ A P R I L ~ said...

Woo hoo! Congrats on the casino win! You didn't mention whether or not you REPLACED the money you stole from your kids though. LOL

It sounds like your hayride was a lot of fun! Glad you enjoyed it!

Politically Homeless said...

You go girl! I've been in casinos many times and have never walked off with a haul that big. Whats your secret?

Redneck Diva said...

April-The $20 each we borrowed from the kids morphed into the flushing Weeble camper, Turtle Talkies and GBA game. I took them to W*M and let them spend away!! They were in kid heaven.

Brian-The most I've ever won in a single night of gambling was $500, so I beat my own record! As far as a secret, the only thing I can figure is that they loosened the slots for their big first birthday celebration this weekend. Because normally I come out a big fat loser. I don't expect to ever do that again!

Queen Of Cheese said...

Wow! I really could use money like that for Christmas. I used the kids money from the sale of their calves for my new washer/dryer that we HAD to have. They weren't happy, but I guess being naked lost to me using their money! David at work won the 4-wheeler at the Turtle!

Derek Knight said...

Rick Krispies?

those RULE!

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