Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Another installment of . . .

Kristin is . . . Oh come on, you know you wanna know.

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Kristin is looking for a personal trainer. Yes I am. And a cabana boy.

Kristin is the host of our monthly tribute to old. Please welcome to the stage, straight from your worst middle-aged nightmare . . . Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit'ssssssss The Geriatric Hipsters performing "I Can't Poop Without My Prunes"! *applause applause*

Kristin is worth 11 points. And here I'd always thought I was only worth 1 or 2.

Kristin is still sick. And twisted, too. What's your point?

Kristin is departing the scene. Hopefully not in a 55-gallon drum.

Kristin is an undisputed expert. On everything. Just ask me.

Kristin is the newest member of our family of paddlers. Tater's always telling me Jesus is gonna spank me.

Kristin is known as a master of smooth and personal distortion as well as bright and complicated singing techniques. I can distort with the best of 'em.

Kristin is picked up at her home on the upper west side and is in the hair and makeup trailer by ten. It's not easy being me.

Kristin is a sluagh of the female persuasion. Uhhh . . . what's a "sluagh"? Whatever it is, I guess I'm glad I'm a female one.

Kristin is the most georgeous person i have ever. Ever WHAT? Seen? Kissed? Been ordered around by? WHAT???

Kristin is my little easter doll. This reaches new heights. Heights I'm not sure I'm willing to aspire to.

Kristin is the daughter of Tim and Sue Gibbons. Mom? Dad? We need to talk.

Kristin is the daughter of Waldo Weathers and Carissia Dixion Malone. Seriously, Mom . . . we really gotta talk. I'm having an identity crisis now.

Kristin is living with people she did not know before. Who are these children and why are they calling me Mom?

Kristin is very mean and gross. Obviously written by one of the children who went on that hayride Saturday.

Kristin is rearranging her office. Rearranging it? Heck, I can't even find the carpet out here much less move things around!

Kristin is pioneering the use of webmathematica as a backend tool controlled by flash to create useful and educational applications. And y'all just thought I was a daycare provider.

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And then, because I am shamelessly shirking my housecleaning I wanted to know what Diva is . . .

Diva is a dynamo. Not to be confused with JJ Walker, who was DY-NO-MITE.

Diva is delightful. Delightfully mean and gross, obviously.

Diva is as diva does. Yes, Forrest. Mama always said so.

Diva is een leuke zaak met niet alleen mode dingen. I have no idea what I am here, but with the word "dingen" in the sentence it's gotta be good.

Diva is in touch with the wellspring of her own creativity. I feel it springing out of my well as I type. Watch out - it might be messy.

Diva is not supported anymore. Nope, not since I busted the underwires in my white bras.

Diva is a small astronomy satellite. Hey now - enough of the fat jokes.

Diva is left scratching her head. Maybe Diva needs to wash her hair. Just a thought.

Diva is the only member of her species. Momma always said I was special.

Diva is not dog. Rat's right, Ri'm rot a rog - Ri'm a RIVA!

Diva is also an incredibly muscular b*tch. You got a problem with that?

Diva is also fully compatible with dolby digital. Nothing better than Diva in Dolby Surround. It enhances the experience.

Diva is a bouncy young lady and yet very gentle. Not. Going. There.

Diva is a nine. Yeah and I'm also worth 11 points.




Results provided by :

Googlism - We're taking your Google and adding an "ism".

3 comments:

Leslie said...

I like the part about being an incredibly muscular bitch. I'm gonna have to try out this new "Googlism" thing. Fun stuff!

MrsCoach2U said...

I like Diva is " as Diva does" just sums it all up right there! No arguing with that philosphy. Not that anyone would argue with a Diva!

Hillbilly Mom said...

I love these things. I think my favorites are your wellspring, and the small astronomy satellite. Hey, it's a SMALL one!

At least nobody drew a picture of YOU
wearing a shirt that says "greedy," and holding sharp pointy sticks.