Sunday, September 23, 2007

A proper dunking, among other things

Friday I was off, as I usually am on Fridays. I had an eye doctor appointment at 9, so I dropped the kids off at Mom's auction so they could bug her instead of me (her idea, not mine) and got my eyes dilated and peered into.

Turns out I'm less blind than I used to be. The last three times I've had my eyes examined, they've had to lessen my prescription. The doctor said that as a teenager I used too much power and wanted to see things boldly and now that I'm older, I don't need to do that anymore and therefore, my eyes say, "Hey, I'm incredibly lazy now and you are using me too much. Back off, dude!" He said my constant studying and computer use made it all the more obvious and that's why I've been having such frequent headaches.

And just wait'll you see the glasses I got! Months ago I checked with EyeMasters and they offered me two pair for $230 and I was totally sold because my last ONE pair from the optometrist cost me just under $600 and I didn't want to do that again. But I figured it wouldn't hurt to, you know, just see what the eye doctor had -- The glasses I picked out have rhinestones down the earpieces and the sunglass clip has rhinestones all-freakin-over them. They just scream "I may be blind, but I am still a diva!" And they weren't $600. Whew.

The whole time I was trying them on I couldn't help but think of the scene in the movie Grease where Marty loses one of her diamonds off her glasses in her mac and cheese.

----------------------------

Friday evening Mom watched the kids overnight. The original plan was that Abby was just going to stay and we'd pick her up at Saturday's auction, but then Paul was actually open to the idea of going to the show so I called Mom to see if she'd take two more kids. We dropped the kids off the went to the Stables to, you know, eat. It just so happens that there's also a casino there. Hmh. Pretty coincidental, if you ask me.

We drove the yard barge - aka the big truck, a Dodge Ram the size of Mt. Rushmore - and two other yard barges parked on either side of us, one of them incredibly crooked. Before it was said and done, I was standing in the parking lot, arms over my head, directing Paul while he inched his way out. Just so happens there was a freakin' Jag behind us and we weren't keen on denting it. I felt like I needed an orange vest and some lighted cones, but turns out my hands and gray t-shirt were enough.

We saw Superbad and it was okay. Not supergood, but not superbad. Definitely not as good as The 40-Year Old Virgin or Knocked Up, but still pretty funny in parts. There was one part that I snorted, so if it gets a snort out of me, it's not a total waste of money. I probably would've laughed more had I seen it with Tater, though, to be honest. We just laugh more together. Plus, there was a row of about 5 college guys behind us who found it utterly hiLARious to fart loudly throughout the movie. Not just little poots that you could smell and wonder what in the world is that SMELL, but I'm talking disgustingly liquid-sounding bun-rattling farts that made them laugh hysterically and caused my husband to snicker and me to shake my head at their stupidity. Hmh, wonder why they were the movies on a Friday night with each other and not girls.....


---------------------------

Saturday night I wrote a paper over the relevance of computers in the world of journalism. Whoo hoo.

--------------------------

Today was Abby's Baptism. I cried like a baby. She was so precious and innocent, yet so grownup and wise-looking at the same time. Before, during the service, she leaned her head on my shoulder and looked off my Bible, her legs crossed like a young lady, but then when she stepped down into the baptistry in that white gown, she looked like a little girl again.

-------------------------

I took a 2-hour nap this afternoon. I haven't taken a Sunday nap in ages. Paul and the kids conqured PacMan like three times. Like, PacMan used to seem so hard, yet my 8 year old was the first one to clear the entire game. Go figure.


-------------------------

The design for the new look of Redneck Diva is complete and being prepared for the web. My license plate will be done in a week and she's going to make a t-shirt for me to test wear, make sure I'm satisfied with the quality and then we'll decide how many to print after that.

Tonight I bought a domain and over the next few days will get the blog settled in there. Maybe some gingham valances and a bean bag or two to make it feel like home.....

I am a dot com.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Double doo-doo!...one of my diamonds just fell in the macaroni!"

I enjoy your writing. Thank you for sharing with such great humor.
Amanda (Michigan)

Sam said...

wOOt For the DOT COM YAY YAY YAY and sorry about the nookie. :)

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

Must see picture of glasses. Also, Marty is my favorite character in Grease.
***
Congrats on the baptism. Nothing touches a momma's heart more, huh?
***
Love me a Sunday nap. I usually get home Sunday afternoons EXHAUSTED!
***
You sure someone didn't just put all them extra animals in a bag? I hate the thought, but still...y'all are rednecks, right?
***
I can't wait to see your new design!! And your very own place - I'm so envious!

We....the people

Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...