Tuesday, September 25, 2007

A few thoughts

Cavemen were tough. And while I am fascinated with watching them on the Science Channel, I am afraid I won't be so fascinated with the upcoming sitcom.

-----------------------------------

I need a device that will automatically detect the background noise in the room and then turn the TV volume up or down accordingly. The volume is fine until the AC kicks off, then it's freakin' blaring. So then you turn it down to avoid permanent hearing loss only to find that about a minute and a half later you can't hear it because the AC is back on again. And you kind of, for about a second or two, think that that last blare of volume finally went and did it and destroyed your hearing, then you remember that it's the dang AC again.

-----------------------------------

"Kady, if you think you need to tootie, DON'T. Okay? Got it? Seriously, whatever you do, do not toot unless you are on the toilet."

-----------------------------------

Seventy-five pages of reading about Benjamin Franklin and the things he wrote is not my idea of fun. I mean, I like to read and all, but ol' Ben Frank isn't my number one choice. Now, put him at Hogwart's and let's see how he fares - then you'd have a reader here, by cracky.

-----------------------------------

Why can't all children's TV programming be as awesome as PBS? There are some killer kid shows on PBS. Right now, Kady and I are enamored by Super Why and Word Girl. Just a few minutes ago she figured out that the word needed to finish a game was "deactivate." She's five. I was impressed.

-----------------------------------

I think for lunch Kady's going to have a cheese and rice sandwich on white bread with a side of banana-flavored applesauce. That way I'll cover all the parts of the BRAT diet and more than likely constipate her so well that by week's end I'll be having to give her a laxative.

-----------------------------------

I wish I could work from home. I really like staying at home. But somehow, I don't think the friendly folks at DHS would let me bring home the lateral files and house them in my bedroom or anything.

Don't get me wrong, the job is fine, but I just really like staying at home. I like being a housewife. Tater went berzerk when the kids went to school and she was staying at home because she said it was too quiet, but man, I love quiet. I'd also cook and bake and my homework would always be caught up.

Now....to go rob a bank.....or find a job that will let me stay at home.....

I just don't think I'm suited to work in a traditional sense. Cousin Stacey says I don't play well with others and man, she's right. I don't really like people all that much. Oh, I like visiting with people I see at Wal*Mart and auctions and stuff like that, but I don't like seeing people on a daily basis on their terms. I don't like having to play by someone else's rules, I don't like wearing uncomfortable shoes and peeing in the office restroom because man, I pee a lot I've discovered. I like making people laugh, but I prefer to do it through my writing. I'm a mess, aren't I?

Go ahead, tell me to grow up, tell me "Welcome to the real world, babycakes" and secretly think to yourself that I'm really just lazy, but I might cry if you actually tell me, so be prepared for that. And know that I'm not lazy - I have no problem earning money and working to do it, I just don't want to do it anywhere but in my house.

-----------------------------------

It's a long time until LOST starts again and frankly, that makes me a bit frustrated and edgy.

-----------------------------------

A few weeks ago, Kady crawled up in her Grammy's lap and said, "Gwammy? I'm a wittle hungwy. Do you have someting I could eat or swallow?"

-----------------------------------

After Abby's baptism on Sunday, as we were leaving the church one of the deacons said, "Hey, Abby! No bath tonight, huh?" We laughed and went on after hugs and congratulations. Later that night when I told Ab to hit the showers she said, "Nuh uh. Dale gave me permission to skip tonight, remember?" I gave her that look and said, "Yeah, well Jesus washed away your sins, but sweetie, you smell like butt. Go take a shower." I have a feeling she's going to have a talk with that deacon.

4 comments:

Queen Of Cheese said...

Did ya know that ballet is a contact sport? Guess who got a concussion last night at dance class! Sorry to hear about the puking at your house, there was puking at mine but it was head injury related. Fun times, the raising of those who will pick out our nursing homes.

Elizabeth said...

It must be somethign in the air. I feel...whipped? I had it going on, I was motivated and strng, determined to kick the living hell out of those polynomials and then BAM! I got a sinus infection. It zapped my will to live. and the weird thing is, I'm not that sick...I just feel deflated and unsure of every decision and every word I write and totally overwhelmed. what the hell is wrong with us???

Brian said...

I wouldn't be any good at working at home. There is way too much here to distract me. Work? I've got cable TV, blogs to read, books to read, etc.

But I'm with you on the office bathroom. I never like going to the bathroom at work!

Kelly said...

"-by cracky!" lol

TV volume...They do it in cars, why not in houses?

Work...I'm with you. I have a low threshold for long term people time...especially one's I don't choose to be around.