Monday, May 01, 2006

If you really think about it

Feeding a 4-month old baby food is like . . . well . . .

trying to put a limp penis into . . . uhh . . . anything.

Seriously. Think about it and tell me I'm wrong -

*You can poke and poke and poke and it just keeps coming back out. You can try holding your mouth just right, but it won't cooperate no matter how hard you try.

*Usually one of you is trying way harder than the other.

*You both end up completely frustrated and sometimes one or both of you cries.

*You can try taking a break halfway through, but most of the time even that doesn't help.

*You both end up messy, sticky and in need of a shower. And a nap.


D said...

I almost chocked on my drink from alughing! You should put up warning signs or something! *LOL*

Irish Divinity said...

Hmmmmmm. At home he eats really good, only makes a mess on his bib and hands and finishes quickly. So who's kid were you feeding today? lol

Queen Of Cheese said...

When I pick him up he's an absolute angel! I have no idea where you think that because you have him 40 hours a week you know see sides of him the rest of us don't!

**Why does the drunken typing have a wheel chair next to it?**

Stacie said...

I completely agree. And sometimes it goes on until 8 months. Which is the age of one of my babies. She makes the funniest faces and sometimes will not eat! I will now forever think limp penis when I try to feed her. Thanks, Diva! lol
and yeah, what is the wheelchair for?

Cazzie!!! said...

If you do take a break half way through then the FArex/Rice cereal or even the yoghurt turns to is easy just to transfer it all into a bottle and feed it to them like milk..yukk!! LOL Stacie, "I will now forever think limp penis when I try to feed her." what a classic.
Cheers Cazzie!!!

Kelli said...

Oh Diva *shaking head* thats just funny!

Redneck Diva said...

scrapper, but the element of surprise is so much better! I just wish I could see y'all spit beverages on your computers!

Jen, should I say a few Rosemarys for you? Ya know, for stress relief. Because I'm not sure I have any more funny penis stories.

Divinity, he really wasn't as bad as I made it out to sound. I was just chasing his face with that spoon and got tickled! My mind is very, very twisted.

Mrs.Coach, I never said he wasn't an angel - he was just bein' a poot while he ate that day! He is such a dollbaby I can hardly stand it, so I can overlook the messy eating habits.

Stacie, I knew you'd understand completely. There are days I wanna stick their heads in a vice grip!

Cazzie!!!, BLECH!!! I kind of threw up in my mouth on that one.

Anne, you should've been there!

We....the people

Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...