Monday, May 22, 2006

Woody's Roundup

Right now there are 7 children in my toyroom. And there are two more on the way. I love summer. My house is always full of oodles of children and the noise and giggling and spontaneous dancing that occurs is enough to make me one of the happiest people on the planet. Just now I was playing "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas (Hey, only the most educational music for my kids) and even the babies were dancing. These kids know a danceable beat when they hear it.


Friday night was our end of the year ceremony thing for Girl Scouts. It went off without a hitch. The girls remembered their parts and Abby and MaKayla looked so big as they crossed the bridge and donned their new green sashes, all blank and ready to be filled with many, many badges next year. I had stressed out over it all week and Tater made fun of me saying, "I hope none of your kids get married if this is how you react over a little thing like this!" Well, I just wanted it to be memorable. I still remember my bridging ceremony! Magnet Lady and Magnet Sister interrupted the ceremony so that the girls could present Tater and I with flowers, which made me all misty. And I got misty again when we sent Taylor across the bridge to her momma (They're military now and will be moving this summer). Thankfully none of us broke down and really cried, which I was afraid we'd do. Well, except for Tater who thought us all rather silly for being sentimental in the first place, the big poot.

After the ceremony we had dessert and everyone kind of milled around and visited. Then after that, the grandparents and uncles and daddies left and we had our last shindig of the school year - a camp out. Magnet Lady and Magnet Sister, Tater and I were the parents that had planned on staying and then we talked Jeanie, Magnet Lady's best friend, into staying as well. Jeanie, ML and I graduated together so we were walking down memory lane by having a sleep over together again.

We had grand plans of playing flashlight tag, but the brand new batteries I had put in Abby and Addison's flashlights went dead after 5 minutes, so that was out. So pretty much we just let the girls run around and do what they wanted. Well, as long as it was safe. They giggled and ran and squealed and so did the little girls. Around 10 we came inside and gave the girls a healthy bedtime snack of Double-Stuft Oreos and milk and then it hit us adults that we hadn't eaten dinner so I whipped us up some smoked sausages, again a healthy meal right at bedtime.

We retired to the tents close to midnight, hermetically sealed the girls in theirs and then got into ours and proceded to giggle and talk sex and stuff until nearly 3am. The girls finally quit their giggling around 2:30. One of our famous Diva Skunks kept playing Hide and Smell with us all night, which punctuated the night with frantic wakeups and scurrying to find the flashlight to see if it was in eyesight, aka lurking outside our tents with tailed raised in spraying mode. But Jake slept between the two tents all night long and never even stirred when we smelled the skunk, so it was obviously not close. The wind was just right, I guess.

I woke up around 5:30 and Magnet Sister woke up shortly after that. The other grownups were awake by 6 but we all dozed back off again. I woke up at 7:40 and Magnet Sister did, too. We both came inside and started breakfast. Mr. Diva went out and sprayed the adult tent with water, but that didn't get them up, so with Magnet Sister and I giggling quietly behind him, he headed outside with a shotgun. He snuck around to the girls' tent and told them to not be scared and that he'd be shooting a gun into the air. He fired off about 3 shots just boomboomboom and Magnet Sister and I both started squealing and screaming, "It's still moving!! Oh MY GOSH it's still ALIVE!!" We saw the big tent start shaking, then Tater's head poked out the door and she growled, "What'sgoin'onouthere". She kind of reminded me of a sleepy-headed - albeit white - Arnold from Different Strokes.

After feeding the crew pancakes and bacon we let the girls play until their parents picked them up. Then I slept pretty much the entire afternoon while Mr. Diva went out riding with his brother and my children's brains rotted while they watched too much TV.

We had secured an overnight stay at Tater's for the kids because we had been invited to a wedding, but we decided to instead go to the movies. We had a romantic dinner at Sonic (Mmmm....Jumbo Popcorn Chicken) and then saw RV. We toyed with going to see Over the Hedge, but since we knew that one or both of us would see it with the kids, we opted on something non-animated. Bad choice. The two hours spent watching RV are two hours of my life I'll never get back. And that makes me sad. It was so horrendously stupid that words really fail me in describing it.

But quite possibly, hopefully, I will gain those two hours back with the satisfaction I will get from seeing NACHO LIBRE weekend after next. I am so stoked about it I can hardly stand it.

And even though the movie was a bomb, we came back home and had - yep, you guessed it - RLTKAOOTHS. (For the new folks: Really Loud The Kids Are Out Of The House Sex) That almost redeemed the 2 hours lost during the movie.

And yesterday my dad and husband installed my new ceramic, flat-top stove top!! I have pictures of the campout and of the range installation, but I'll have to retrieve them from the camera and I don't have time right now. But suffice it to say that I cooked dinner last night on FOUR WHOLE BURNERS that all worked at once!! It was a very liberating experience.

And now I must go. There are 9 children in my house now:
5 months
12 months
15 months
4 years - x3
7 years - x2
and 9 years

Yes, I'm insane.


Melessa Gregg said...

Thanks for the RV review. DH and I thought we might like to see it. Since we only get out about three times a year, we don't like to waste that on movies that suck. I appreciate the 'heads-up' and we'll save our date night for a better movie. Maybe even MI:3, though I hate to give Tom Cruise the $$. Still, I bet it's a good movie.

Queen Of Cheese said...

My Mom liked RV but then again her movie taste is kind of off!

Mr.Coach made it 3 1/2 hours into Summer Break before he called me to tell me to find daycare for Natalie for the summer, he'd had enough! He asked me to ask if he could watch Kael if you'd watch Natalie.............

Jennifer said...

RV wasn't that bad... much better if your in-laws pay for it :). It sounds like you guys had a lot of fun camping! I am so happy for you!Ours was okay, but no where near as fun.Nope, no sex talk - learn anything new? LOL No more Core Camp for me! :) What ceremony did you use????

Kellyology said...

That many kids, you are officially insane!

RV...My 7-year-old talked me into seeing it. I should have known it was going to be bad when we were literally the only people in the theater to watch the movie.

My highlight was also the preview of Nacho Libre. Every time Jack Black turns around and clenches his butt, I about die laughing! I hope the movie is as good as the preview.

I also wanted to say that I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I love it! Keep up the good work!

Cazzie!!! said...

Flashlight tiggy was our favourite game when I was little, we had a family of 16 kids across the paddocks who would jojn my 4 sibling family, itd go forever that game.

Irish Divinity said...

Oh!! I'm all teary eyed!! He's 5MONTHS OLD!!! ackkkkk

And I can so totally see Mr. Coach trading nati for kael for the summer!!

Redneck Diva said...

Melessa, it was really. really. bad. Trust me on this one.

Mrs. Coach, I've talked to several people who've seen RV and said it was funny. Mr. Diva and I just didn't see the parts that made it funny. And no, we weren't playin' kissy face, that's just gross.

I'd take Nati in a heartbeat, but NO he can't have my Kael!! That kid is just too dang cute!

Jen, the ceremony was pretty much of my own design. Not sure if the GS handbook would smile upon that, but oh well. It was memorable and the girls felt like big stuff.

Kelly, I just hope that the previews of Nacho Libre aren't the only funny parts. I realllly like Jack Black, though. Oh man, now I'm worried it's going to suck! Still I giggle like a little girl when I see the previews, lol.

Glad you're a regular visitor! Don't be a stranger!

Cazzie!!!, so you got "tiggy wit' it" as a kid?

Divinity, but he's an absolutely ADORABLE 5 month old, if that makes you feel any better!

Again, I'm saying - I'll take Nati but Mr. Coach does NOT get Kael in return!

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Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...