Monday, August 20, 2007

My first day of school didn't involve a nap

Today was the first day of classes and nowhere on my schedule was time for a nap with my pink towels. Kollij isn't near as much fun as Kindergarten. I also didn't get to color a whole boatload of color sheets about the letter L.

Last Wednesday as soon as I left work I went straight to the college campus. First stop, the business office to make sure my FinAid was in order, then downstairs to campus police to get my parking sticker (which is still in my purse...must remember to get that out....) and then allllll the way across campus to the bookstore. Now, keep in mind that last Wednesday was I think the hottest day in history. It was about 106 with a heat index of 451.3. And I was wearing a light tan shirt.

Now, I am normally not a sweater. Not a sweater as in something wool your gramma knits, but I mean, I just don't really sweat a lot. I just don't. But when it is THAT hot outside, everyone sweats. I don't care who you are, how much of a diva you are or how awesome you think you are in your shorty shorts with your belly button hanging out and your tramp stamp showing right above your buttcrack, sweetie, you sweat.

Just as I got in the line for FinAid and scholarships, something went wrong with the checkout computers and the gal had to go fix it. Now, I have worked with electronics and I know that when you are the busiest and the most harried, that is precisely when things will break down, screw up and cause you to want to gouge your eyes out with unsharpened pencils. Well, I started sweating while I waited in that line and this is where the light tan shirt comes into play.

I sweat right through my shirt and suddenly became the fat, sweaty, old lady in the midst of all of those annoying, perky 18 year olds. I had never wanted a fan so badly in my life. The gal behind me commented on it being a tad warm in the building and I nodded in agreement. She looked me up and down and said, "Uhm, yeah. You've kind of like, sweated through your shirt there, doll." Great. Thanks for noticing and pointing it out. I wasn't quite uncomfortable enough. You're a gem, there sweetie.

Finally the computer quit being posessed and I got my scholarship paper and my FinAid paper and headed to the book line. The kid behind the counter did NOT want to be there, did not want to wait on the sweaty old lady and made sure I knew his disdain for working there, living life and waiting on sweaty old non-traditional students. He handed me my Macro book, my Computers book and my the Algebra packet (supposedly) containing my $120 password. I said, "Where's my Lit book?" He sighed dramatically (I'm betting he's a Theatre major) and said, "There is no book for Lit." Now, maybe it's just me, but HELLO, it's LITERATURE. It kind of seems like there should be, oh I dunno, a BOOK FOR THAT. No, he insisted there wasn't. I questioned him again and he assured me there was no book and I'd have to find out when I logged onto the website on Monday just why there was no book.

Well, I logged onto the website this afternoon and whaddaya know.....I need a BOOK for the class. I even called the bookstore to double check and yep, I need a BOOK for the class. And then, when I tried to log onto the algebra class, the $120 temporary password is missing from my packet.

Tomorrow's only supposed to be 95', but I'm definitely not wearing a light colored shirt. I'm also hoping I'll wake up skinny with no gray hair and heck, while I'm dreaming, maybe I'll be a cheerleader, too.


Cazzie!!! said...

I'm tired after reading all of DO we fit everything into one day!!

jusdealem said...

Tramp Stamp. LOL Love it. You have far more nerve than I, dealing with the younguns. No way I could go back to school. You go, girl!

Redneck Diva said...

Cazzie, I'm thinking it's some maternal time warping thing that's in our DNA. :-)

Jusdealem, I try not to "deal" with the younguns on any kind of a regular basis - that's totally why I'm taking most of my classes online. I don't like people in general, much less the snarky, hateful 18 and 19 year olds who think I owe them something. Online classes are the way to go when you're old and cranky!

WHIP's said...

I started out in a major university. there were like 7 non-traditionalstudents including me. NO ONE spoke to me for 3 semesters except the very large guy who stumbled into lit the first day of class, saw me sitting there alone and launched into his very long story about why he was going to be missing a considerable number of classes due to football games. I stopped him when he finally paused for a breath and said, dude, i'm not the teacher. He looked confused for a full five minutes while his little football oriented mind tried to comprehend how someone of my advanced age could be in a classroom and not be the teacher, then he left. I was only 30 then! So, i spent the last 3 years taking classes on line. Tomorrow, I venture back into the classroom. I go back to 18 year old cheerleaders who can hit three keg parties after a football game and a 45 minute bus ride back to campus...and still manage to pull a 4.0...I'm fairly sure they sleep 4 hours a semester. I'm scared, I admit it

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