Sunday, May 06, 2007

a few things

It's been awhile since I've done anything like this, so I guess it's about time.....

A few things about me:

* I have naturally curly hair which I hate. Really hate. After my last haircut I swore I'd never wear it curly again, but the torrential rain and now the wearable humidity that we call "Spring" in Oklahoma have since decided that I will indeed wear it curly again. For the rest of my life.

* I am rapidly going gray.

* I wonder why I started this with talking about my hair.....

* I married a man who was a teacher's aide in my Kindergarten class. Talk about explaining that one to the kids.

* I have one sister. I love her. A lot. I am fiercely protective of my little sister. Now, as kids I'd have sold her to the first band of traveling gypsies to wander by and never blinked an eye, but now.....I go completely momma bear if you mess with my Tater.

* My right foot swells occasionally for apparently no reason. Well, deep down I know the reason - I'm fat and I inherited poor circulation from my mom's side. Yeah, thanks for that, Gramma Morris. You started this.

* I have a relatively rare, uncurable, hereditary, and can-be-dangerous blood disease called Factor V Leiden. My mother and sister also have it. It has caused them to both have blood clots. So far, I've dodged that bullet but by the grace of God.

* I wonder if my kids have it. They have to be tested when they're older. It's kind of a serious thing, but I like to pretend it's not. Because serious sucks sometimes.

* I *heart* Disney World.

* I miss my Papa and Memaw so much that it hurts.

* I do not have a very close relationship with my dad. That bothers me. A lot.

* I regret the placement of my ladybug tattoo sometimes. There are times I'd like to wear a lower cut top and not look like a hoochie. Those times are relatively few, but still, they come up occasionally.

* I was told at the age of 21 that I'd never give birth to a child of my own. I'd like to herd my little tribe in there and tell him "Quit telling women that. God can work miracles, ya know."

* I hate brussel sprouts, asparagus and cooked spinach. If you try to make me eat them I will throw up on you. A lot. Even if I haven't taken a bite yet, I'll throw up on you just because you're being mean.

* I think Johnny Depp is totally hot as Captain Jack Sparrow, but uber creepy everywhere else.

* I think Steve Martin is sexy. Dead sexy.

* I've had my daughter Abby's name picked out since I was in the 6th grade.

* My name would've been "Kevin Dale" if I had been a boy.

* Abby would've been named Kade if she'd been a boy. Sam would've been named Kady if he'd been a girl. Kady would've been named Jake if she'd been a boy. We have a dog named Jake that we got after Kady was born. We recycle names around here.

* I really want to have another baby.

* My parents divorced when I was 18. If you are going to divorce and have any say in the timing, don't do it when your child is 18. It will seriously mess them up for a long time.

* I'm scared of spiders.

* Clowns, too

* And water.

* Oh yeah, not crazy about heights either.

* I've never broken a bone or gotten stitches. Which is hardly any wonder since I'm scared of everything.

* I have had a kidney stone. That was worse than childbirth.

* I want to learn how to yodel. I plan on learning this summer. Not sure how....I don't think the vo-tech has a class on that. Cake decorating, yes. Yodeling, probably not.

* I learned how to cross-stitch last winter. I mainly did it to prove to my mother and sister that I am capable of being domestic and crafty and stuff. Then it turned out that I really like it.

* I am really not very domestic and crafty and capable of gardening and stuff. I can decoupage like a fuh-reak, though. And my cooking is awesome, too. I will cook for you if you ask. I will even decoupage for you, although I'm not sure why you'd ask. Just don't ask me to water your plants. They will die. I pretty much guarantee it.

* It's hot and humid in my office, which I'm starting to believe is one floor up from hell, directly over Satan's office. Oklahoma doesn't believe in a gentle, cool Springtime where you can enjoy watching new life emerge and flourish. Nope, we go straight from 12 feet of snow and ice to tornadoes, which runs cuncurrently with air you can wear and that lasts until the 12 feet of snow starts again. None of that is conducive to watching new life emerge and flourish - it is only conducive to drinking large amounts of iced sweet tea and asking everyone you see in Wal*Mart, "Hot enough for ya?"

* I am not scared of tornadoes.

* I have had tornado dreams since I was a child. Freud would say I have penis envy. Other, more not-so-cuckoo dream analysis stuff I've read says that tornadoes in dreams indicates turmoil. I have lived in a constant state of turmoil since I was a child then.

* I scream like a little girl when I am startled. Last night I let a blood curdling scream loose on my mother's quiet little neighborhood when a rabbit hopped out in front of me in the dark. Then when Paul tried to run it in the other direction I screamed again for no apparent reason.

* I type constantly. I have done it since I took Typing in high school. I type every word you say when I'm talking to you. I type every word I say when I'm talking to you. I have woke Paul up by typing on his arm in my sleep. When Abby was little I was rocking her before bed and she opened her eyes and said, "Momma, you can stop tapping on my arm now. You have my attention."

And now I'm done. I'm off to watch the radar to see what the odds are that the tornadoes will skirt us yet again.


Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...


Love curly hair. Wish mine was curlier. Get some good products and embrace it.

My foot swells some, too. Mostly is just hurts like hell, though.

Love Steve Martin.

Yodeling? For real? It's all that exposure to Branson, isn't it?

Will you please decoupage for me?

This one you're not gonna believe, but I type in my head all the time. Some times more than others. My thoughts, mostly, but also signs and other people talking.

Anonymous said...

As a fellow Okie, I agree our 2 seasons, masquerading as 4, pretty much suck!

Come on - you don't think Johnny Depp was even slightly hot in What's Eating Gilbert Grape? (we re-watched it yesterday so it was fresh on my mind)

WHIP's said...

I've had tornado dreams since I was 9. It always starts as one solitary tornado coming at me, and by the end of the cycle it's a virtual army of them. It takes months for the cycle to complete and then it all starts over.

I love love brussel sprouts and I just watched Johnny depp in chocolate last night...yum

Stewed Hamm said...

You left out the most important season: football. Another slip-up like that, and they'll dig up Will Rogers to presonally yank your Okie cred.

Totallyscrappy said...

I thought I was the only one doing the typing thing! I also sign- I only ever got the alphabet down- words that are said and that I read. I find the typing and signing are handy ways to fall asleep.

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