Monday, January 16, 2006

Satanic Hot Wheels

I'm telling you, the person who invented Hot Wheels playsets is the Antichrist.

No kidding, I spent over an hour this morning trying every way I could think of to re-assemble my son's four Hot Wheels playsets/tracks. The easiest one, the figure-8 track that millions of little boys have owned since time began, is neatly stored away in the top of Sam's closet. It's the ones with 40 gajillion pieces that were down and demolished.

Oh, they're fine when you open them up at birthdays or at Christmas. You pull the pieces out of the boxes along with the instructions and stickers and you think, "Okay, this is kinda cool. I'll whip this thing out in no time." And with the exception of positioning the stickers just right we never have any problems putting them together.

The first time.

It's later, down the road, after the box and instructions have been long thrown away, that you nearly gnaw off your arm after trying every which way you know how to make the oil change bay fit onto the Service Center and the little pop-up skeleton fit just perfectly in the shallow grave so that it pops up when the unsuspecting car goes over it. Oh yeah. It's enough to make a mom wish her son played with dolls.

6 comments:

Hillbilly Mom said...

I, too, have been to Hot Wheels Hell in a tricked-out handbasket. We usually have trouble fitting the pieces back in the box to store them away. They sure don't make toys like they used to.

Shannon said...

I have been there!!!It's not pretty!! :)

MamaKBear said...

LOL

Andy got a MegaBlocks Dragon Castle or some shit set from my Mom for Christmas, and the thing has like five kajillion pieces to it! MrKB spent at least two hours this past weekend trying to get it set up and only got about 1/8 of it actually done. I don't know WHAT my mother was thinking getting this thing for a 5 year old!

Of course, it didn't help that Andy and my godson Tyler got into it the other night and opened up a bunch of the little plastic bags that pieces were in. Poor MrKB...he's got quite a job ahead of him!!

MrsCoach2U said...

It's much easier than putting together a Princess Tea Cart!

Andi said...

I ordered a fooseball table online for the kids this Christmas because it was a great deal online, it must have been because when it was delivered to our home there was absolutely NO INSTRUCTIONS with it. My husband and I worked on the damn thing for about 3 hours total. We would get almost together and figure out we did not put something in from the way the picture looked on the box! AHHHH! Good thing it was just me and him here we were cussing up a storm and about ready to kill eachother by the time the bitch was assembled!

Redneck Diva said...

Hillbilly Mom, it never occured to me to save the boxes! Of course, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to get them back into the boxes either, anyway!

Shannon, Mr. Diva and I have never been closer to divorce than when we're trying to put something together.

Mama K, my mother has given Sam and my nephew Lincoln Logs, Legos, Hot Wheels playsets and various other toys with kazillions of small pieces. I guess because she didn't have any boys she figures she feels like she NEEDS to purchase stuff like that!

I never let Mr. Diva put things together by himself. If I'm not there to supervise and speak calm words to him he'll throw it against a wall!

Andi, no instructions is nearly as bad as the instructions written entirely in a foreign language!