Sunday, January 22, 2006

It smells like butt

I have no tattoo. And it's kind of my fault because I threw a temper tantrum and spent the majority of the day pouting.

Dang me.

And now, because I am a total dipwad, I am not sure exactly WHEN I will have the time to drive all the way to Joplin to get it.

Monday: Ladies' Night and I don't miss that unless I am on an operating table, giving birth or squashed under a truck.
Tuesday: Quapaw Casino's January Birthday Party. 'Nuff said. I won't miss that unless I am on an operating table, giving birth or am squashed flat under a truck. (Just so you know, it's a 100% guarantee that I will not be giving birth, though.)
Wednesday: LOST. I don't miss that unless I am on an operating tabl . . . you get it by now, don't you?
Thursday: Brownies. We miss that on occasion, but we won't this week because last week was cancelled due to the fact that I was in the middle of dying a slow and painful gastrointestinal death.
Friday: I actually don't have anything planned, but I DON'T WANT TO WAIT THAT LONG!!!!!
Saturday: DivaMom's birthday and thus, another casino run.

Don't forget the fact that my last daycare kid goes home at 5:30 each night, so it's not like I can just whiz up there after work one night. Oh, and one of Abby's headgear bands just fell off yesterday. Just. Fell. Off. We were just at the dentist a week and a half ago!! Now I must throw in another trip to Tulsa this week. *sigh*

I am going to have to hide that money from myself, otherwise after the way this week looks, I'll be tempted to go to the bar at The Stables and spend it all on kerosene apple martinis. Kerosinis. Hmh. I kind of like the way that sounds.

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I still use Baby Magic baby lotion on my children. Well, not on Abby so much because she's way into the American Girl line at Bath and Body right now and well, when you're nine maybe it's time to stop smelling like a baby's behind. But Sam and Kady are still young enough and weak enough that I can hold them down and slather them in that yummy smelling moisturizing essence of heaven. Granted, older kids wearing Baby Magic doesn't smell quite the same as an actual baby wearing Baby Magic, but it's enough so that I can get the general idea and still be pretty happy.

But *gasp* our Wal*Mart doesn't seem to carry Baby Magic anymore. It's just wrong. Just plain wrong. I looked in every possible location in the store where Baby Magic might be shelved, but it was to no avail. There's not even a spot on the shelf where it used to sit, so that makes me think they're not just out. I think they just flat don't carry it anymore. So, after much grumbling and stomping of my feet, I bought some Huggies brand with shea butter.

IT SMELLS LIKE BUTT.

I just covered Kady in it and my hands smell like butt. Dirty. Baby. Butt. I have washed my hands and still they smell. I have GermX'd my hands. And still they smell. That's some powerful lotion.

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I made a total carb-fest for dinner tonight. Sausage gravy, hash browns, biscuits/toast and oh, I threw in some eggs for Mr. Diva. I personally skipped the eggs and instead finished off the hashbrowns. Omg, I love hash browns. Homemade ones, fried in butter . . . oh yeahhhhhhh.

Now I'm feelin' kind of logey and sleepy.

It's either carb letdown or I'm on the brink of a diabetic coma.

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My Brownie Troop KICKED BUTT in cookie sales this year!! I don't have everyone's totals in yet, but from the looks of it we sold close to, if not just over, ONE THOUSAND BOXES OF COOKIES!!! I am so treating them to something wonderful. Pizza's not even enough of a treat, I'm thinking skating or Lazer Tag. Okay, so the Lazer Tag would be more for me and Tater....but I think the girls might enjoy it as well....

For a small troop of 7 Brownies I think selling a thousand boxes is great. Considering our troop, which had 5 last year, only sold about 400 some boxes last year, I think we vastly improved. I am so proud of them!

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I need to get my GS stuff organized. I still have stuff stacked all over the place in here. It was just pretty low on the priority list this week while my insides slowly poisoned me. Now, tomorrow starts another work week and the office is still a mess. Actually this side of it looks great. This wall is where Abby's desk and my computer armoire sit. It's clean and tidy, partially because at day's end I can close the doors to the armoire. But the other side of the office is another story altogether. My desk and GS table are a disaster. Seriously. It's bad. I should probably get on that..... yeah.....I probably should.....

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Ugh, I just scratched my nose and got a whiff of that nasty lotion again. I may have to dip my hands in an apple martini to get that smell off.

10 comments:

Kim said...

HOLY CRAP! That's a buttload of cookies. Is that without booth sales?

I was Lullah's Troop's cookie mom for three years. The first year we sold almost 1000 boxes and we lived in a 900 sq. ft apartment. There was a path through the place. Cookies EVERYWHERE. So I feel for y'all's cookie mom.

Now Lullah's a Studio 2B girl and I'm their leader and cookie mom. I don't think we're gonna sell that many. But I do have more room now in case we do.

Congrats!

MamaKBear said...

I cannot believe I didn't see a single girl scout selling cookies this year!! I WANT SOME COOKIES!!! Only Girl Scout cookies will do, thank you very much. Preferably Thin Mints and Tagalongs.

Sigh...

Anyway, if you're looking for a new baby lotion, I use the Night-time Lavender scented stuff. Johnson's or generic, doesn't really matter. I love, love LOVE the smell of it! It definitely doesn't smell like ass!

Jerzeegrrl said...

Congrats on the cookie sales... and Happy BElated Birthday...

Andi said...

1000... Cool Beans! That is really good! I have not seen one girlscout or brownie this year either selling cookies. I still have Thin Mints in my freezer though from last year.

My girlfriend bought that lotion you are talking about for her babies, Shoooy! I know it does smell like ass. She threw hers out. Lol.

I would like to see a pic of that tat when you eventually get it. I got 3 more on me and my husbands annivesary last year. I got all my kids zodiac signs on my back to go around the other tat I have.

Aren't they addicting! Love 'em.

Redneck Diva said...

Kim, my troop doesn't even DO booth sales! We're small and scattered and no one really wants to, so we don't. We just do a lot of prep in the weeks before, pumping up the girls and if necessary, bribing them, lol. They worked hard this year!

I don't have a "cookie mom" - I AM the cookie mom. So far no one's volunteered and I'm not one to go around asking, so I just do. It's nerve-wracking to say the least, but not as bad as I thought. Er, at least it wasn't last year when we only sold 400-some boxes...this year may be another story entirely!

I have a feeling that when the cookies arrive in a few weeks that my living room will look like the inside of the Keebler elves' tree.

Mama K, dang! If only you lived closer we'd definitely sell you some!

A month or so ago I found 4 lonely Thin Mints in the back of the freezer and it was like freakin' CHRISTMAS! I grabbed the and ran to the bathroom, shut and locked the door and shoved them in my mouth before anyone had a chance to steal one. I know it's gross eating cookies in the bathroom, but hey, they were THIN MINTS for cryin' out loud!

CBG's momma uses the lavender lotion and while it does smell good, I'm just kind of hooked on the Baby Magic smell. I guess I may have to get used to lavender because I sure don't like my children smelling like ass!

Jersey, thanks!

Andi, if you have Thin Mints in your freezer from last year then you definitely have more willpower than I do! Those four I found awhile back would've been eaten long ago had I known they were there!

I will definitely post pics of the tat when I get it. It looks like Friday is going to have to be the day, dammit. This will be #4 and I thought this would be it, but now I've got an idea for one more....you're right, they are addicting!

MamaKBear said...

I will check the WalMarts here and see if I find Baby Magic for you.

If I find some I'll pick up a few bottles and trade ya for some cookies!

MrsCoach2U said...

I cleaned out the kids bathroom and threw out like 8 bottles of Baby Magic lotion about a month ago. Wish I'd have known you liked it so much! I still have powder and body wash!

Hillbilly Mom said...

I was having a very bad day. Then I came over here. Now I know it could be worse. At least I don't smell like ASS!

Redneck Diva said...

Mama K, THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!!! Yummy-smelling lotion in exchange for yummy-tasting cookies - how could this be a bad thing???

Mrs. Coach, you threw out 8 BOTTLES?!? Are you insane, woman? It smells too good to throw out!

Hillbilly Mom, see there's always someone worse off. Hope your day got better!

Anonymous said...

Our troop sold 5500 boxes of cookies this year. You should have seen my house. I'm the cookie mom! Whew, what a relief that it's almost over.