Monday, July 16, 2007

Who knew?

Did y'all know the sun comes up at 6:30?? See, since becoming unemployed I still get Paul up at 6 every morning, but if he's sleeping with me in the bed, I turn off the alarm, then slap him awake with my eyes closed. If he's sleeping on the couch (which he has been lately because of his cough due to cold) I turn off the alarm, shuffle to the living room, slap him awake, then shuffle back to the bed - again, with my eyes closed.

But this morning my alarm went off at 6:30 and I opened my eyes and there this strange glowing orb in the sky that I vaguely recognized as the sun. When I left the house 2 hours later, yep, it was the sun. Strange idea, this morning thing.

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Friday I took Abby back to the doctor because her ears have never cleared up from church camp. One was still hurting and one started itching. I tolerated and cajoled her for three weeks, hoping that it would clear up on its own. I don't like antibiotics for ear infections. I just don't. But after three weeks, I started feeling cruel for not doing something about it and realized that it was time to see the PA again. He looked at both of them with the otoscope, then left the room to get the thing to do a tympanogram. (A tympanogrammer? Tympanographmogrifier?) I hate it when they break out the tympanogram. That has never been a good thing with Abby. And sure enough, both ears read flat. That would sure explain why we have to repeat things to her. So now she's on Augmentin orally and he also prescribed antibiotic ear drops. Today she says they don't hurt and itch anymore, therefore making me feel even worse for waiting three weeks.

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Friday night Abby, Tater and I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Of all of the books, this one ranks way up there, might even be my favorite. It was full of suspense and I really loved it. The movie, while entertaining, was good, but not all that great. I mean, for one thing, it was pretty slow starting and Abby, who is usually captured by the movies from the beginning, was bored. It was also really long. She was yawning most of the way through it.

And is it just me, but is it hard to picture Daniel Radcliffe as a poor teenage wizard after seeing the photos of him in Equus? I'm just asking. He looks less like a boy now to me....and that isn't a bad thing necessarily.....ooh, does that make me creepy? Okay, let's move along.....

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Saturday more of the sleeping in thing. That was lovely. Abby went off to spend the night with a friend. When Paul got home from work I left Sam with him so they could go see Transformers (kind of disappointed I missed out on that one) and Kady and I met up with Mom in Joplin to find me some clothes for work. I had planned on visiting Penney's, Kohl's and wherever else necessary, but managed to get everything at Lane Bryant. Thanks to the gift cards and my wonderfully generous mother, I got about $300 worth of clothes for $80. Yahoo.

We went to Payless in the mall after that to get Kady some shoes. The child has got positively HUGE feet. My other two kids have really small feet - something that boggles my mind because mine have never been small - but that third kid of mine takes after her mother. And her feet have done some serious growing this summer. My 5-year-old is perilously close in shoe size to her brother who is 8. I got her some sneaks, some brown leather Mary Janes for school and some saddle shoes. I LOVE saddle shoes, always have, always will. Fortunately, she does, too and snatched them up, hugging the box like it was a Hello Kitty purse filled with chocolate and the entire cast of High School Musical.

In addition to the three pair of sensible shoes I bought my youngest child in preparation for her (*sob*) first year of school, my mother set the child up with a pair of really ugly foo-foo girl shoes. They are pink with white polka dots, open-toed (I think they call them "fish face"), strappy sandals with a slight heel AND a gigantic pink gauzy bow at the end. Truly hideous. She loves them. Maybe more than the saddle shoes. She calls them her high heels and wears them with everything - dresses, shorts, pajamas, and while buck naked. Oh to have shoes that made me that happy.

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Yesterday I cleaned house all day. I mean, literally all day. Not just your usual, every week, run-of-the-mill house cleaning. I'm talking pull everything out of the kitchen cabinets, pantry and closets cleaning. I always pull stupid stunts like that before a major life change like starting a job. I did it right before school started last semester, too. Many more life changes and my house should be spotless.

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Today was my first day of work. I wore my new red capris (which are actually Bermuda length shorts on a person with legs of normal length, but on me they are capris) and new red shoes that show off my tattoo and that my husband hates. He looked at them on my feet this morning (after Abby squealed, "OMG, those are the CUTEST. SHOES. EVER!!!!") and said, "I don't like those shoes." And he said it with kind of a smirk, so I queried, "Why don't you like them?" all the while lifting my heel and pointing my toe like a professional shoe model. He said, "They make your feet look two miles long." I said, "Um...they are." He replied, "Point made."

Work went well. There were very few caseworkers there, so therefore not much for me to do. I did get to use the copy machine for the first time, though. A caseworker handed me a file and told me to copy it. I confidently took it and turned to the copy machine that is so very much not like any copy machine I've ever used. To put things into perspective - the last time I used a copy machine with any frequency was when I was 15 and 16 and working for the attorney my mother worked for. He had a copy machine that you lifted a flappy thing on top, put the paper on the glass and then you pushed a button. If you wanted to copy the other side, you turned the paper over and then fed the copy through again, sometimes recopying something several times to get it right and not upside down.

But this copy machine at the office is a monster. It has more bells and whistles than I wonder are entirely necessary on a copier. It will even staple! Now, I totally realize that I sound like a yokel just off the turnip truck, but well, I kind of am. I have been a stay-at-home mommy for most of my married life. Not many opportunities arise in the stay-at-home venue to copy things. I can print like the dickens with my printer and scanning is a breeeze, but this copy machine was no Lexmark printer/scanner/faxer/copier like the one sitting here beside me. And I doubt it has ever printed off Polly Pocket color sheets.

Fortunately I had seen my supervisor copy something and knew where to put the original. I copied an entire bundle of papers, then realized they were double-sided. The screen didn't actually have the words "Print Both Sides" anywhere on it, so I swallowed my pride and asked the caseworker. She was helpful and quickly had me copying both sides all willy nilly and such.

I was telling this story to my mom, who only once said, "You were intimidated by a copier??" and has been a secretary several times in her working life. That woman can copy, lemme tell ya and she's never been intimidated by a copier. She was standing at her kitchen sink, listening while I told her of my copy machine adventure. When I was done she said, "I'm so proud of you, my daughter, Redneck Diva, Queen of the Copy Machine."

I'm thinking of having that put on a t-shirt: Redneck Diva - Queen of the Copy Machine

8 comments:

Aunt Janet said...

Glad you had a good first day. The workers are great people to work with, don't wait on them to come to you to be your friend, just jump right in there. They sometimes get so caught up with themselves that they are slow to include a new person. You will do a great job, copy machine et.al.

Elizabeth said...

I'll deny it if you tell anyone...but when Harry was telling Sirius he thought he might have gone bad I was mentally thinking MMMMMMMM bad Harry. Actually, I might have said MMMMMM bad Harry because Candice leaned over and whispered 'gross, Mom'

beckie h said...

You mean it is not mandatory for all wives to wake at 4:30am and get their husbands clothes ready, make their breakfast, bring them their coffee, pack their lunch and see them out the door on their way to work?? I am getting so ripped off, who do I file a complaint with?

Melessa said...

In the middle of her sobbing over Sirius, I did make Natalie laugh when Fudge said "He's back?" and I said "No shit." Poor baby, she knew what was going to happen, but she cried anyway.

I'm not sure I ever noticed the sun before I started working either-all I can say after reading about Kady is that she and Caroline need to get together ASAP!

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

1. Need photos of foo-foo fish shoes. You are such a good mom! I don't care who's paying for it, if I don't like 'em, they're going in the dress-up bag.

2. I am so very proud of your grown-up job! And using the copier on your very first day, too.

Gotta go, I'm getting misty.

MrsCoach2U said...

We have one of those copy machines, I think they are government issue and they will eventually be the demon in your life. Trust me.

Haven't gone to see the new Potter, I know I'll cry so I think I'll wait till I can watch it at home.

I bought a pair of capri's the other day that were way too long and I think my legs are somewhat of a normal lenght. I put them on and Jason said "your pants are too short". I said they are capris and he said "oh well, your pants are too long". MEN! Considering he was wearing blue and lime green swim trunks and an orange and yellow t-shirt (so not swimming that day either) I don't worry about his fashion advice!

Mean Teacher said...

Hey-- don't you let anyone make you feel silly for not knowing how to do 2 sided copies! Every single machine has some different way that it must be done-- and I have YET to see one that has clear intructions on how to do it.

Marshamarshamarsha said...

Back in the day (way back as a student and later as an intern) I was once called Copy Queen. We got a new copier last semester, and I am still scared to death of the thing. I wonder if your mom will come help me out with it. Sadly, I use the printers in my room most of the time just to avoid the scary thing.