Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Now we get stoopid

This may forever go down in the family history books as the dumbest, most cockamamie stunt we've ever pulled, but when you add one Redneck Diva and one Tater together, you kind of know you're gonna come up with someone outrageous. We Bass girls are dangerous at times.

We are floating Tater, the tots and Bub (Bub's dad had another minor stroke last night, so we're extending the right hand of ex-in-law fellowship to him) across the creek so we can spend the 4th together. Don't worry, we're not entirely stupid - we're not putting them across the river, just the creek. The river is roaring like you wouldn't believe, but the creek is nice and stagnant and is harboring mosquitoes like you would not believe. Mom and Uncle David declined the invitation and all I have to say about that is, well, every party has a pooper and it seems we have two.

We gave Tater the option of floating back across tonight or just spending the night and again, here is where we show you a perfect example of our intelligence - they're spending the night. It wasn't the dark that frightened us, it was the fact that if the mosquitoes are this bad during the day, we honestly feared they might carry off a tot at night. Feral vampire mosquitoes, we grow out here on Hudson Creek, I'm tellin' ya.

We've got the hamburgers and hotdogs covered, they're bringing ice, soda and oh yeah, gotta remember to tell her to bring beer. Lots of beer. The kids and I are making cookies and zucchini bread, possibly a cake, too. And best of all - Tater has a digital camera. I may retain my sanity after all. I can't stand the thought of not sharing better pictures of the adventure than my phone would provide, not the mention the fact that it's kind of expensive to send a bunch of pictures from my phone. (Yeah, I tried the Bluetooth thing, but didn't realize I needed separate software for my Razr, yada yada yada.)

Paul and Abby are out by the barn now, hooking the trailer up to the small truck, cleaning out the small boat and Kady and Sam are bouncing off the walls like two tweakers who just ate a couple dozen Krispy Kremes. I am still in my pajamas, laptop's in the kitchen so I can blog and bake, barking out orders to get the kids to clean up the house and oh yeah, gotta find a bra. (I haven't worn a bra since the beginning of this adventure because heck, it's just us here and it's not like company's gonna drop in AND while I'm on the subject, contrary to what GoingLikeSixty might think, I'm no MaryAnn and they ain't got coconuts droopy enough to hold these babies.)

Now I must go. I decided to redirect Kady's energy into making cookies, but my smallest tweaker is flinging cookie dough willy nilly and beyond. I wonder if the warranty on the laptop covers cookie dough....

Is it just weird that I am this excited about seeing other people? Technically I've only been stuck here since Monday....

We're floating the family across Mosquito Bay in a matter of hours. Keep checking back here for updates. Or you might tune into the local news.....just in case.


Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

Oh Good Night, y'all are crazy. And hella fun, too!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Wow! I haven't been this anxious since my uncle took my dad, sister and I to an Alaskan island in a little metal boat with an outboard motor. Then the motor broke down before he could return with Mom and Grandma.

There we were, happily fishing away, when we saw a float plane circling overhead. "He's looking for someone," my dad said. As he landed and taxied to our shore, he amended it to say, "He's looking for US." We had to fly back to the mainland in that thingy.

But it was probably more relaxing than a trip across your flooded creek in your small boat.

Sam said...

No way. That's a fabulous idea!

We....the people

Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...