Monday, November 07, 2005

Hark! I hear harking!

Ugh. Being sick sucks. And I only had a very, very mild case. Mild or not, it sucked rocks. Mr. Diva got it on Saturday, too. We both were pretty pitiful parents. Thank God our children are well-behaved and resourceful.

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Friday night Jen, TaterSis and I went out for awhile. We didn't pick Jen up until after 8:30, so pretty much seeing a movie was out. We started the evening with a gourmet dinner at Long John Silver's, where the manager guy (Who TaterSis and I thought was mighty adorable) asked Jennifer if she ever considered dating. Her reply: "I don't think my husband would appreciate that." LOL We giggled hyterically throughout the meal, although Jennifer was way perplexed as to why I never order fish at the fish place. I don't like fish. But LJS chicken rocks the boat.

After dinner, where else do three moms go? WAL*MART, of course. We are so sad. The original purpose of the mission was to find the CD that contained the song "I Want You to Want Me", but alas we didn't know who sang it or anything. We asked a young associate and he said, "I uh...don't know much about....uh....classic rock." Punk. We stood around in the music aisle awhile, checking out the new Casting Crowns CD, Christmas Karaoke, Boston, Blake Shelton and various other CD's we couldn't afford. Actually we could've afforded them, but then we'd have had no money with which to gamble. And of course, it's after Halloween so W*M is clearin' out the Halloween stuff to make way for Christmas. 75% off of everything ghoulie, ghosty and creepy. Tater bought a SuperMan costume for $3 and some party favors for next year's school parties, but the bargain of the night was the .44 a can Silly String that Jennifer bought a lot of.

Now, I'm a rebel in some ways, but for the most part I'm a rule-follower. So when Jen said she wanted to spray silly string on a bunch of kids riding their bikes on the street I said flat out, NO. So she and Tater were bored that I wouldn't let them vandalize around town and started vandalizing each other. We pulled into Buffalo Run with silly string blowing in the wind off the antenna of my van, my windshield wipers, Tater's purse, Jen's hair . . . yeah, they had fun. We gambled until the wee hours of the morning and finally we were out of money. Then the suggestion was made that we go to the Witch's Grave. I really wanted to see the Witch's Grave, but 1) I knew we needed to get home to relieve DivaMom of her babysitting duties since she had to work the next morning and 2) I knew Jennifer had bought a cheesecake and it was probably getting really lonely sitting in her refrigerator. So I suggested we just get the cheesecake and drive around while we ate it. Okay by them.

Jennifer emerged from her house at 2am with a cheesecake in one hand and three plastic forks in the other. We had a serious case of the giggles at that point and no one could successfully eat that durn cheesecake with the forks so she just broke us off hunks of it and we chowed down that way. We were driving in a residential part of town and the streets were fairly deserted. Jennifer asked if she could please spray silly string on a stopsign and I relented. It was the cheesecake talking, I'm sure of it. I was obviously high. So she tried to spray, but the nozzled clogged. She yelled, "I'm clogged!! I'm clogged!!" I busted out laughing, but Tater came to the rescue and said, "Here, hold the cheesecake and I'll fix your nozzle." The exchange made, I continued driving and suddenly Jennifer busted out in a loud fit of guffaws, giggles, peals of laughter and she couldn't catch her breath. She was so tickled that I got tickled and so we were both laughing like loons in the front seat. Tater couldn't figure out what was so dang funny and started giggling herself when finally, after driving two blocks past where she started her fit of laughter, Jennifer busts out, "The . . . cheesecake!! The cheesecake!! I . . . dropped . . . the . . . cheesecake!!! It's GONE!" I hit the brakes and said, between giggles, "YOU WHAT??????" She was slid down in her seat, tears streaming down her face, trying to catch her breath and she finally got out, "The cheesecake flew out the window!!" I wheeled back around the block and sure enough, there was our precious quarter-eaten cheesecake sitting in the middle of the road. Tater said, "Gimme a fork, we ain't wastin' that cheesecake!" Well, she was obviously high from the cheesecake, too, because Tater is a germ phobe. But that statement sent us all into another fit of uncontrollable laughter. I'm surprised we weren't arrested for public drunkenness.

We drove back across town, cheesecake-less, dropped Jennifer off and headed back to my house. We walked in the door at 3:15, where DivaMom greeted us with, "You'd no sooner made it to the highway that she started barfing." Poor Kady. She got the bug. I said, "WHY didn't you call me!?!?" Mom said, "You girls needed a night out. Kristin, you have had a really shitty couple of weeks. Heather, you are homeless. And Jennifer was just too excited for you to cancel on her. I have handled puking children before. Now. Did you have fun?" So while I sat in my big chair and rocked my feverish, puking child, we related the story of the flying cheesecake and erupted into giggles again, although a bit quieter so as not to wake up the entire house. Mr. Diva sat in his recliner and just shook his head at us. I bet there's never been a guys night out that he's been on that has included flying cheesecake. Or silly string, for that matter.

I kept Tater's kids at my house for the night because Saturday was Dump Day and it's easier to dump without kids. But alas, I woke up sick and blechy. I pretty much laid on the couch in a state of semi-consciousness until Tater came out to get her kids. She offered to take my non-sick children as well, but Mr. Diva wanted them to stay at home. Bet that when he started puking a few hours later he was wishing that he'd have let them go.

But by about 9pm Saturday I felt much better and ate four dill pickles. I must've been sodium deficient or something because those pickles sounded so good I couldn't have resisted if I'd tried. And they tasted like manna from heaven. Sunday morning the kids and I went to church then spent the rest of the afternoon at the Farmette.

Today Tater and an extra baby, we'll call her CBG (Cute Baby Girl), are staying with us. They'll be here all week. CBG's sitter got called for jury duty and Tater is the backup sitter. 'Cept she's still homeless, ya know. So right now, I am sitting at my computer blogging while my sister dusts my living room. Part of me feels kind of guilty, but the other part of me is like "YES! I HATE to dust!" We're going to rearrange the toyroom during naptime.

Oh, the exciting life we lead.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Classic rock 101. Cheap Trick

daveinardmore

~April~ said...

hey! I WAS GONNA SAY THAT!!!!! Well, not the classic rock part, but I thought it was Cheap Trick!!

Jennifer said...

daveinardmore - i have no idea who you are but today you are my hero! I want that song!!!!! bytheway Diva - you should have warned me about your blog, i've been laughing so loud and crying here at the library - everyone thinks i'm crazy!

Shannon said...

Cheap Trick came to my mind too!!!!!!!!!!! I saw them a LONG TIME AGO when they came to Joplin!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
Your mom is a jewel! Mine won't watch the kids if I go gambling. What's up with that? It's not like she's religious, or like I'm gallivanting about the countryside stuffing people in 55-gallon barrels.

Dave-O sure knows his 80's music! Dave, you had me at THE OZARK MOUNTAIN DAREVILS. Because you'd actually heard of them.

Redneck Diva said...

Dave in Ardmore-Buddy, just for that you deserve that pot of chili we're been talking about for awhile now. Thank you!!

April-Six points for Libra!! Heehee

Jennifer-Dave's your hero, Hillbilly Mom's hero ... I'm thinkin' we should get the guy a cape or something!

Heehee...I can only imagine you laughing hysterically at your computer in that quiet tomb of a library! It's so miserable to try and laugh quietly!

Sweetie...you are crazy.

Shannon-Cheap Trick came to Joplin? Wow. I'm impressed.

Hillbilly Mom-My mom IS a jewel! Of course, she's also a gambling addict, so she's my enabler and I'm hers. I can't believe Hillbilly Mom won't watch the kids for you!! Maybe you should tell her you're going to work in a soup kitchen or something. She might be more open to that.

MrsCoach2U said...

Natalie tells everyone that Grandma McCoin took her to the casino. She actually took her to the Senior Citizens Center on casino night! DivaMom watches your kids while you gamble, CoachGrandma just takes the kids WITH her!

Kim said...

Cheesecake is ALWAYS the right choice. This is too funny, because it's the kind of goofy mess my daughter and I do in the summertime. Except the gambling-she's 15, I don't think they's let her!

~April~ said...

LIBRA!!!!?????? Whatever......

Collin said...

Hmmm. Now I want some silly string.

MamaKBear said...

How could y'all let CHEESECAKE fly out the window?!?! Tater's comment about grabbing a fork reminded me of that Friends episode where Rachel and Chandler keep ending up with the neighbors cheesecake...one ends up on the floor in the hall and they're down on their knees, forks in hand, picking away at pieces that didn't actually touch "floor". Too funny!