Friday, November 25, 2005


Phone conversation between Mom and I:

"Do you need me to pick anything up for you in town?"

"Nah, the kids are spending the night with Sis again tonight. If I need anything, I can run in myself."

"Uhhh...yes, I heard that your children are staying with your sister again tonight."

"What? Is there a problem?"

"Well, I'll just say one thing - if 9 months from now I have a new grandchild, I am kicking your husband's ass."

*insane laughter*

"I'm serious! This is two nights in a row for you two and well, you all have kind of a reputation... You just tell him he's been warned."

So later, I relayed this conversation to Mr. Diva.

He sighed and said, "I'm going to have to set the record straight one of these days. Your whole family thinks that all we do when we get a moment alone is lay around and breed. If only we did it half as much as you make them think we do, I'd be a happy man."

"So you're not happy now? You know, I could just quit putting out altogether..."

"No way, woman. I'm not really complaining. Just saying, you have talked us up to the point that your family thinks we're sex crazed lunatics."

"Well, don't forget my friends. They all think it, too."


Abby comes busting in the back door like her tail end is on fire.

"What are you doin, girlie girl?"

"Oh my GOSH, Mom! Okay, so like we were out in the forest and we were deer huntin' and we were callin' 'em and everything! And I told Kady to get those deer horns (Mr. Diva has some old antlers from last year's kill) and then we started, like, banging them together and MOM WE WERE CALLING IN THE DEERS! Then we heard, like, crunching in the leaves and then GUNSHOTS!! GUNSHOTS ALL AROUND US!! We had one! We. Had. A. Deer! But since we didn't have guns it was okay because well, we helped someone else get a deer. We helped someone get a DEER!!"

Then she took a breath. And I bit my lip to keep back the laughter.


Kady has a cold. I'm will try to recreate her speech in my typing, but if I don't succeed, just read it like how EdithAnn used to talk.

"So Bomma . . . can you tie by hat?"

"Sure, baby. C'mere."

"By hanns are weally cold so I put on by glubs. See?"

"Yes, I see. And your hat. Now your head AND hands will be warm."

"Yep. I'b all pink today. Pink printhess booths, pink Clipperd shird, pink glubs, pink hat . . . I'b all pink! Well, 'cept for by pants. And dey wook wike a zebwa."

She has nothing if not a sense of fashion.


Queen Of Cheese said...

I think Nati has that same outfit!

Redneck Diva said...

Mrs.-The Printhess boots with the zebwa pants are my favorite part of the outfit. So chic, so 5th Avenue, so "I'm am four".

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