Saturday, July 26, 2008


I offered you pictures of my new! not-so-improved! Beagle/Cocker Spaniel for my 1000th post, but instead you are getting them for my 998th post. Because I also have other pictures and heck, I haven't done a photoblog in a lonnnnnng time. And I have nothing else to offer you. Why do I have nothing to offer? Because I had a bad headache yesterday and did nothing more than sit on my couch and hurt. When you do nothing more than SIT you have very little to report.

Ab took these pics of Biscuit about a month ago.

Is he not adorable? No, he's not. Trust me. Oh, he's adorable if you think chewing is adorable. So yeah, if you think chewing is cute then you will LOVE my dog.

Okay, so even I have to admit that this one is just precious. He looks so innocent....

Looks are SO deceiving.

This is Biscuit today. He's long and chewy. I don't mean chewy like caramel or nougat. I mean like HE CHEWS ON EVERYTHING.

I don't know if I have communicated effectively the amount of chewing this dog does.

Those toes? Those are mine. He thinks they are food. Or toys. And capris are an open invitation to EAT MY PANTS. I had to quit going outside in pajama pants because he kept stretching out the legs when he would grab a mouthful of cotton and RUN far and fast with my drawers in his mouth. Agh. The vet says he will chew for a year. I will be toeless by then. And pantsless.

Yep. He's chewing. On Kady this time.

And I failed to mention that what he doesn't eat while he's chewing HE BURIES. Somewhere on the property he has buried his white chew bear (heck, why chew on something that's meant to be chewed on?), Abby's babysitting ward's flipflop (just one, mind you), his water bowl, and one of Paul's leather sandals (okay, that was actually a blessing) among other things we just don't know about. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Paul's brush hog in awhile.....

I think my kids need to go back to school. IQ levels have dropped dramatically this summer.

She even had some on her feet.

She came down the hall going "I AM A ROBOT. I DRINK CAPRI SUN."

She's my sunshine.
(I didn't realize until I published this that her robot has boobs. Oy. She says her brother did that. He's my sunshine, too. A little sunshiney pervert.)

This is my van. Notice anything spectacularly wonderful about it? Well, besides the fine coating of dust because it hasn't rained here in like, 12 years.

You notice nothing? Here.....let's get closer....

Notice anything now?


I sent off for it around the first of May and while the order form said to allow 16 weeks I didn't really think it'd take that long. I mean, those prisoners can't have that busy of a social life, can they?

Every day when we would check the mail we would all cross our fingers and chant "License plate - license plate - license plate!" Yesterday when Paul came in from work with the big yellow envelope in his hand the kids all three screamed because they knew what it was before I ever clued in. There was much jubilation. I'd have jubilated more had my head not felt like it was going to blow clean off. But still, I was happy.

If you see me driving around town, honk. Seriously. Heck, write me a note in the dust if you feel friendly enough.

I put the new plate on the van this morning and as I was putting the old, boring, official license plate in my glove compartment I got stung. It wasn't a full-size wasp, but a mini, micro wasp who had Little Wasp Syndrome or something and felt it necessary to hurt me very much badly. I am working very diligently to clean up my mouth and am so proud that in a moment of total surprise and pain instead of dropping an f-bomb or some other such profanity I hollered, "FARTKNOCKER!"


Anonymous said...

I love your new license plate. It is so you!!!!!! And Jason congratulates Sams artistic style on the robot!!!!

Anonymous said...

What a sweet puppy. Those eyes! I stepped on a bee the other day and had to work REALLY hard not to totally FREAK out in front of my daughter. I was all, "This hurts mommy A WHOLE BUNCH. More than stepping on glass, more than walking over hot coals."

Laura Marchant said...

Ok, the robot...hilarious!

the puppy...adorable

The plates...freakin' awesome!

Sam said...

Sometimes a photo post is just the ticket.

Anonymous said...

Great story and a great vanity plate!

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