Thursday, July 24, 2008

A Milestone Approacheth

This is my 997th post. I should plan something to celebrate my 1000th post! What say ye, innernets? What doth thou wanteth from me upon this most celebratory of occasions? Oh, you want me to quit talking like a dork? Gotcha.

Since I just had my 4th Blogaversary last month, I'm not sure what to do to celebrate 1000 posts, so if you do have any ideas I'm open to 'em. I can do another PhotoTour of my town since I left out all the best parts. Or I can show you the inside of that closet at the end of the hall that I endlessly organize yet it is endlessly a mess. Or hey, how about updated pictures of my adorably cute beagle/cocker spaniel dog named Biscuit that has come about this close to death more than once. (Dogs should not chew lawnmower wires. Or styrofoam coolers. Or bicycle seats. Or volleyballs. Or my pink beaded flamingo on top of the cellar.) Y'all just let me know what you want and to the best of my abilities, I will do it. Keep in mind, though, my daddy's a preacher and I don't do nekked, half-nekkid, or anything else that would make my mother's brain fall out of her skull and die a slow, dramatic Baptist death.


In other news, I think I need an intervention. And it's all Lori's fault. She and I are now both having ilicit affairs with PhoneZoo.

I now am sporting, among others, the following ringtones on my phone:

* The creepy music box song from the stupid movie One Missed Call that we let Abby watch a few weeks ago and now when I play the ringtone she just about loses her doojies all over the carpet. It's good fun.

* The theme from "The Price is Right"

* Banana Phone by Raffi. Just hearing that ringtone makes me giggle.

* "F-R-E-E that spells Free Credit Report dot com bay-bee". And once you hear it, you can't get it out of your head.

* "Grow Old With You" from The Wedding Singer, which is Paul's current ringtone. His ringtone was "You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma" but I much prefer the line "carry you around when your arthritis is bad" to "I worked ten hours on a John Deere tractor". For today, anyway.

* "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" by GnR, which is Pops' ringtone. He's a preacher. Get it? I slay me.

* The theme from "Sanford and Son". Just because.

* The Snickers jingle that goes "Happy peanuts soar over chocolate covered mountain tops..." Every time Kady hears it she puts her hands over her ears and yells, "STOP IT! YOU'RE MAKING ME HUNGRY!!!!"

* And finally, the gunfight song from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly". It's now high noon at our house any time Mom calls.

Paul says he cannot wait for school to start so I will go earn some money and stop making ringtones.


Tonight Paul and I are going on a cruise on good ol' Grand Lake o' the Cherokees. Yes, I am going to need a Xanax or twelve, but we're going on a three-hour cruise on the Cherokee Queen. It's for Casino That Shall Not Be Named employees and one guest apiece. Oh and it's a luau theme. I'm going to be wearing Pops' Hawaiian shirt and we actually bought a Hawaiian shirt for Paul because chances are he will actually wear it out in public someday. And he'll probably wear socks and sandals out in public, too.

Paul called me yesterday to see if I wanted to play in the Blackjack tournament to which I answered immediately with YESSSSSSSSSS, but then he came home last night to inform me that they decided to not let guests play. Probably all for the best - I'm not sure I'd have my best game on while doped upon on Xanax.



If we could fast-forward to next weekend, we both would. She's already declared that we're getting a room with a microwave so she can correct whatever it is I do wrong to Rice Krispie Treats. We're also planning on a podcast. And maybe some gambling. And if there is a Dollar Tree anywhere in the vicinity? Oh yeah, we are SO THERE.

And also? We're also going to take over the world. Much like Pinky and the Brain. Two stay-at-home moms and their laptops and we're going to wreak havoc on the universe.

One Rice Krispie Treat at a time.


Anonymous said...

TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh and can I have the ringtone you have for Lori? I still have it stuck in my head and if I'm going to be singing oompa loompa all day I might as well have it on my phone.

Oh yeah....thanks for updating.

Robin said...

how can you screw up rice krispies??

Debbie said...

Uuuuuugggghhhh! The Free Credit Report song is killing me slowly!!!

Congrats on the upcoming milestone! :)

Going Like Sixty said...

Heyeth, nothing says 1000 written posts better than a podcast!
Don't write #1000 - record it.
Just a giggle-a-thon with your sis would be perfect. Or get the whole fam damily involved. Record their laffs.

Put it on a loop and just let it rip.

I'm smiling alreadyeth.

Cap'n Neurotic said...

Man, PigPen LOVES that Snickers jingle, every time the commercial would come on he would stop whatever he was doing to sing along . . . boy was I glad when it stopped playing :)

And I now have "F-R-E-E that spells free" stuck in my head, so thanks for that.

GERBEN said...

Girl, watch out letting your husband wear those Hawaii shirts. They tend to multiply in the closet. Trust me. When I married my husband, he had maybe 4 bright Hawaii shirts. Now the closet is over flowing with bright flowers & other obnoxious prints.

It is so bad, next time you happen to be in Tulsa take a little drive past the BOK Arena. As you pass the giant glass wall just take a look around at all the construction guys in that area. When you see the large guy wearing a bright red hardhat, blinding Hawaii shirt & probably cussing loudly, that would be the love of my life. And all guys out there know just who he is because of his bright shirts and loud mouth.

Is that what you want for Paul? LOL, to be known as the guy in the fruity shirts? I guess that’s better than being knows as the fruity guy, huh? LMAO!

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

Oh Holy Crap, 8 days? OMG, it's one week from tomorrow.

I Can Not Waiteth.

It might be good if I made the hotel reservations.

And I agree about the 1000th podcast - just your family laughing their asses off would be perfect.

We....the people

Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...