Friday, July 25, 2008

We missed the one at the carousel park

Unbeknownst to me, The Casino That Shall Not Be Named has employee parties ONCE A MONTH. People, Paul has been working there for FIFTEEN MONTHS. We have missed out on 14 dang parties! I told him to keep his payin-attention pants on from now on because I'M NOT MISSING ANOTHER FREE PARTY WHERE THEY GIVE AWAY THINGS. I (meaning Paul) was this close to winning an iPod Nano! (If by this close you mean his name was in the bucket with everyone else's and there were about 150 employee names in said bucket.) (But still, I think her finger grazed his name. Twice.)

Okay, so that aside, last night we took a lake cruise on the Cherokee Queen. Now, those of you who know me well know that a) I cannot swim, b) I get motion sickness very easily and c) I am terrified of water. So why did I go on this cruise? Because there are too many hot little numbers at that casino that would be all over my husband if someone said sic 'im. I would've freakin' bungee jumped into a vat of cooking oil if it meant not sending him onto a boat without me where they serve alcohol and everyone is in beach wear. Yeah. And please understand that I do honestly trust my husband. I just don't like others oglin' all over what is mine and has been for 15 years. 'Nuff said.

So we dropped the kids off at VBS and headed to Grove to eat at Rib Crib. I heart that place. However, I am obviously a few fries short of a Happy Meal because I ate WAY too much a mere hour before embarking upon a cruise on a boat that was more than likely going to make me sick. (People, I got sick on the Showboat Branson Belle and we never left the dock.) As soon as we started down the gangplank toward the boat I started getting queasy. I was sweating like mad, but that might've been partially due to the fact that it was still 100+ degrees outside. All I wanted was to get inside the boat into the air conditioning and get a drink to calm my nerves.

The air conditioning was virtually nil and the line for the bar stretched the the other end of the boat and started around the other side.

People kept noticing my pasty complexion and said that if you suffer from motion sickness, the higher the better. Just going outside left me wobbly, so it took a little while to get me onto the second deck. Even longer to get to the third one. But I got there, by golly. Paul found me a chair and I whipped out my phone and began texting Lori because if I didn't look out at the water and kept my head down looking at my phone I felt better. There was another gal, Jamey, suffering worse than me, so they pulled her a chair over by me and put a trashcan between us. We were party animals, let me tell ya. However, we became lifelong friends and will forever be bonded. She hugged me multiple times. Or maybe those weren't really hugs, but just the fact that neither of us could stand. Jamey's husband, Keith, brought me a beer, but I was so oogey feeling I drank half and gave the rest to Paul. That was all I drank all night. The threat of hurling was too great to add alcohol.

Getting out of the dock was spooky, but once we got going the breeze actually helped and if I didn't look at where we were going and looked off the side of the boat, I was okay. I was still really unsteady on my feet, moderately queasy and more than once grabbed at Keith (I've known him my entire life, worked with him at DHS and his mom and my mom were HS best friends). He didn't mind, though, since his wife was the other one with motion sickness. Daniel would get in front of me and Paul would get behind me any time we needed to get down stairs. I'm tellin' ya, if it hadn't been for those three I'd have been in the fetal position in a corner somewhere.

Paul played in the blackjack tournament and won second in the first round. (Didn't do so well in the final, though) After that we went downstairs to the dance floor to watch everyone get drunker and drunker and dance like they were drunk. That was a good time. If they'd played some country we could've shown off our mad two-steppin' skillz, but not one country song was played. That was fine with me because for one thing, country music makes me depressed as all get out and for another, two-stepping in flipflops is dangerous. Especially around drunk people.

The party stepped up a notch when Amanda Hugankiss showed up and screamed my name across the dance floor. Her husband, Ben Dover, had been looking for me all night. Good ol' Ben Dover and Amanda Hugankiss....them's good people.

We docked at 10:30 and while we could stay on the boat until 11, Paul and I opted to get the heck off. It was hot and everyone was drunk and we didn't win any prizes, so meh, we left.

I ended up having an almost good time. I got more of a kick out of drunk-watching than anything. Am I ready to go on a week-long cruise to Puerto Vallarta? Oh heck no. Would I go on the Queen again? Maybe.

I just hope next month's party is on land.


Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you survived as I would be the one reminding your mother to pick up your children!

I was going to text you and make sure you were ok but Mr.Coach already said I couldn't rescue you with a jet ski if you were miserable or sick.....although that would have been freaking awesome!!!

Robin said...

You're so funny!!

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