Wednesday, April 30, 2008

After a rough night, the cuteness continues

Last night was so completely reminiscent of my children being newborns with the up-down-up-downness of it all that I had to check my nipples to make sure they weren't cracked or that there wasn't a infant hanging off one.

The puppy who had appeared to have narcolepsy all evening became the most. playful. puppy. ever. come 11pm. I got him calmed down, put him in his carrier next to the bed and turned off the TV. And then the howling began. Whining. Howling. Whimpering. And just general noisiness. I ignored it until my ears bled then got up and thought that maybe he was hungry, so I fed him. He didn't chew, just gulped and swallowed and when he was done let out a resounding belch that just reassures me of the fact that he was totally sent down from Heaven just for our family.

After the eating I took him outside to potty, but instead of being interested in bowel health the dog decided to attack every piece of grass in the side yard and jump at my shadow more than twelve dozen times which leads me to believe he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. Upon entering the house and approaching the carrier the yelping/whining/howling/whimpering began again in earnest as if to say, "You mean, horrible lady what makes you think that a plastic pet carrier is humane?" But I stuck him in it anyway because I'm a mean, horrible lady like that. Just ask my kids.

After ten minutes of incessant NOISE I totally caved and put the little turd in bed with me where he snuggled in, let out a contented sigh and went promptly to sleep. I dozed off as well only to be awakened about 30 minutes later when Biscuit the Intelligent decided that his tail was a threat to national security and therefore he felt compelled to growl at it. I firmly removed his tail from his mouth and told him it was not time to play and that it was time to sleep and he closed his eyes. I thought to myself, "What a good puppy I have...." until he woke me up 15 minutes later by chewing on my hair.

He went to the carrier after that and I was prepared to ignore his cries and pleas for rescue, but after about 15 more minutes Paul came out and said, "That's it. The little ba#tard is going outside." So Biscuit slept on the carport in his carrier the rest of the night. Well, "slept" is a loose term because what he actually did was just continue the noise but at least it was filtered by the back door.

I will have to say, though, he's doing quite well in the not having accidents department and so far I haven't had to clean up one single mess. Today he was left alone in the bathroom for 5 1/2 hours - he peed once and it was on the puppy pad. As soon as I got home I took him out and he looked at me gratefully as he trotted off to poop. After that he pretty much followed me around whining at me while I sorted laundry,. When he dug under a pile of jeans he was so preciously adorably adorable that I forgave him for chewing on my hair.

Right now he's curled up next to me, fighting sleep, but very much intrigued by the typing. Well, intrigued or annoyed as all get out. I'm thinking paybacks are hell, Biscuit. Paybacks are hell.

1 comment:

Deb said...

Oh, I love Biscuit already. Don't send him over here. I already have three of my own. But I love hearing about other people's puppy travails.

Found you on BlogHer. Funny stuff!

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