Monday, July 03, 2006

Well, no one's dead yet

The day has been quietly safe. I'm very on guard and check all of the kids, including today's only babysitting ward, Li'l Divinity, for fevers about every 15 minutes. We went to town this morning to run a few errands. I made Mr. Diva go with us. No way I was going to get stranded in town when the transmission fell out of my car or all four tires spontaneously went flat.

Twice on the way to town cars swerved over the yellow line at me. Thanks to my stellar reflexes I avoided peril. Well, and the fact that I've been paranoid since I woke up and was on the lookout for crazy drivers.

We picked up some more fireworks now that we have moved our celebration to Wednesday due to tomorrow's forecast of storms. Since Wednesday and Thursday are Mr. Diva's days off now he'll get to shoot off the fireworks with the kids and I get to not shoot them off. Glad that worked out. Fat chicks running from fireworks is what keeps America's Funniest Videos still on the air.

The kids and their daddy even shot a few off awhile ago. There were no screams from outside and I did a digit count when they came in. The gal told us the firecrackers I got weren't their slowest fused crackers, but also not their fastest. Liar! Mr. Diva nearly lost a toe. Danger averted, though, due to his lightning-fast reflexes.

It seems to be a day of near-misses.

We stopped at the library, too. We haven't done that in a long time. Mr. Diva even held Li'l Divinity and stayed with the kids in the children's library so I could look around in the big people section all by myself. That was strange, but I liked it. I wanted to get Memoirs of a Geisha, but (and don't laugh) even though I'm a nerd I have no idea how to use the card catalog, nor do I even know where it is in our public library. I know. I should be shot. I'm sure Cap'n Neurotic has just fainted dead away right this very minute. Someone might wanna check on him.

So instead I got one by Fannie Flagg, Standing in the Rainbow. I saw her latest one in Wal*Mart last night, but didn't have the money to buy it, so I instead checked out an older one today. I really just want Memoirs of a Geisha, dammit. And they were out of David Sedaris books, too. I checked out Me Talk Pretty One Day awhile back, but never got around to reading it. Now I want to and they didn't have a single one of his books.

Saturday the kids were turned loose in the video store and we came home with High School Musical, Aquamarine and Hoodwinked. I tried to watch Aquamarine yesterday, but fell asleep halfway through. That mermaid was kind of hateful, if you ask me. Maybe she got nicer after I fell asleep, I dunno. I also tried to watch Hoodwinked with them, but again dozed off. Hey, I was really tired yesterday. Hush. Mr. Diva and the kids watched High School Musical on Saturday while I finished cooking for the family get-together. Well, except for those last 10 minutes when the disc screwed up. But I took it in last night and the gal fixed it. I got to watch that missing scene with them this afternoon. Just 10 minutes and I've found myself doing jazz hands and pathetic renditions of jazzy cheerleading moves the rest of the day. I can't wait to watch the whole thing. I will be unstoppable.

Tonight's Ladies' Night at Buffalo Run. It's also the 3rd AND the day before a holiday. This means welfare checks came today and no one has to work tomorrow. That place will be more crowded than a Krispy Kreme store next door to an Overeaters Anonymous convention. Oh, but you know I'll be there. I withdrew an extra $20 from the bank today. I'm hoping to break *da da dummmm* The Curse of the Fourth by winning a shitload of money tonight.


Shannon said...

OK Diva, I hate to break this to you this but there is NO card catalog anymore. :) That's why you couldn't find it.
Now, you go to the computer and type in what you want to look for--by author, or title, or whatever and it will tell you where it is and if it is in or not.
I know how you feel-I was lost the first time I looked for the dang card catalog.
Good Luck!!

Shannon said...

Forgot to say-Brady and I rented High School Musical, and I admit we tried to do the dance to "Bop to the Top" we didn't quite learn it all though, and I don't think he would want me telling everyone he was dancing with his mom in the living room! LOL ohwell-don't tell anyone, K?

Kelli said...

These two posts were hilarious! Well..except for those mice..that was discusting. Very discusting. Glad you guys had a good time though.

I have my fingers crossed for you..hope the day goes off well..

Cazzie!!! said...

hahaha, an overeaters anonymous convention..unreal..never heard of that one before!!!

Politically Homeless said...

If you win big at the're buying the appletinis.

Happy Independence Day!

Cap'n Neurotic said...

Yes, actual card catalogs are a thing of the past, and as a librarian all I can say is "good riddance." It's bad enough changing subject headings on a computer ("handicapped" to "people with disabilities" for example), but pulling all of those cards and redoing them manually . . . *shudder*

Amazingly enough, the Miami library's catalog is even available online now ( so you can check from home to see that Memoirs and both David Sedaris books they own are currently checked out and save yourself the trip; you probably can put a hold on them online as well, but since I don't have an account there, I can't tell for sure.

Oh, and I haven't read Memoirs, but Me Talk Pretty is hilarious.

RJ said...

you can also check online for any books you want (at least in OKC) and even put it on reserve. They will send you a letter when it is in or send an email.
Pretty cool. Check with your library and see if that is an option. P.S. I have a copy of Memoirs if you want me to mail it to you.

Anonymous said...


Don't waste your time on the Geisha book - there is NO SEX in it! Go figure?! After the first 3 chapters, it is quite boring!

Your blog is as hilarious as one of my favorite authors - Janet Evanovich - if you haven't read her Stephanie Plum series, check them out during your next library run. Her granny will keep you in stitches too!

My family also has the dreaded 4th of July curse and I'm happy to report maybe we got a reprieve as well - although we were almost killed 4 times over the weekend, none of us had to make a trip to the emergency room this year. :-)

Anonymous said...

Sorry you missed out on a Mrs. E research paper by a couple of years. We actually used the school's card catalog such as it was. I actually took all the students to NEO to the library back when they had card catalogs. I still take them when I have a group that I can trust(right); I mean that believes me when I say they won't graduate without my paper and if they get into trouble they will not pass. I didn't go last year. Tell you anything about my juniors? They are getting harder and harder to scare into submission. Any way Cap'n N can keep you up to date on the latest technology. He tries with his dad and me and is sometimes quite successful. Glad you got to go to the library. Ask for help next time. That is what librarians get paid to do and it relieves them of all that boring stuff behind the desk.

Cap'n N's Mom

Anonymous said...

No mention of your suprise visit on here?? I'm appauled! I'd really be that if I knew how to spell. Love!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Card catalog? What are you 180? Why don't you take an autogyro to Siam. Yeesh. I'm not much into technology, but I love my porn machine. It comes straight to my house! 24/7! I also think we should have robot librarians. They ask you to hush once, in that metallic, high-pitched voice, then they make you. With exreme prejudice. Yeah, that's my kind of Library! Of course, give the Cap'n an oscillating fan to talk through and a big stick, and you're close. The future is here!!

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