Sunday, March 05, 2006

My heart hurts

I stole that title from my friend Stacie, but it's really true tonight. For some reason, I'm sad.

If we were to get down to brass tacks, I'd just come right out and tell you that my hormones are trainwrecking right now inside my pituitary gland or whatever other glands are responsible and that's the reason for my melancholy, baby. But hormones aside, there's just too much sad today. I hate sad.

I'm sad for Shannon, whose baby boy should've been born a few days ago. Instead he came early and left early. I don't understand why and neither do they.

I'm sad for Brian whose dad gave it a good fight, but lost. I can't imagine losing a parent and pray that Jesus just comes back before I have to deal with that.

I'm sad for Tater who is fussing with her husband. Sometimes marriage sucks.

I'm sad for the family of kids whose mommy and daddy are now dead because of anger he couldn't control.

I'm sad for the little girl whose daddy shot her mommy.

I'm sad because a precious baby named McKenna was murdered by her mother's drunk boyfriend. She didn't do anything wrong, yet she paid a high price.

I'm sad for McKenna's mother.

I'm sad for my Nana who is in the nursing home and thinks she gets to go home again. She doesn't this time. Two broken hips in a matter of months doesn't leave the family much choice. She's there for the rest of her life. She just doesn't know it yet.

I'm sad for me. Wanna know why?

I can't fix all the sadness. And that makes my heart hurt. It makes my eyes burn and tear up. It makes me want to sleep for a long, long time. It makes me have a headache. It makes me cranky and makes me yell at my kids. It makes me mad.

Sad sucks.


Stacie said...

Yes, I agree. Sad does suck. I'm sad for the Leaf kids, whose Daddy publicly proclaimed he'd love their Mommy forever yet kills her that very weekend. I'm sad for Joseph who doesn't even seem to miss his Daddy much yet but who will grow up missing something he may not even be aware of. Little Joseph is six. I'm sad for Glenda who buried her husband on Wednesday and was back in church on Sunday. Only one out of her five children stayed with her and came to church with her. I'm sad for the woman who was married for only six months when her new husband died. But, mostly, I'm sad for the Leaf kids. All five of them. The four that live across from my work, especially. For little Blake who's four or five years old and asked his teacher what those worms were that were coming from his Mama's head after his Daddy shot her. This, my friend, is killing me softly.

Call me, we can cry together.

Shannon said...

Thanks Kristin!!

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